Money in, Money Out

My hot water heater died. Over a week ago. The pilot light won't stay lit. Boiling water to wash dishes and take baths is really getting old. I feel like a pioneer woman and I'm not feeling it! I want my modern lifestyle convenience back. But a new tank is going to cost me $1000! A 30-gallon tank isn't all that expensive but the installation, removal and required code upgrades are. Man, this is such bad timing!!

But, on the flip side something amazing happened. I was stressing out about paying daycare last week. With all these extra costs for readoption and moving, my (non-existent) budget is being stretched really thin. I was wondering how I was going to pay them $295 last week. I put it out there that I needed some money to come through and then I got this in the mail:


Can you read it? Click on it to enlarge (and ignore the scribbles that a cute toddler added). Yup, it's an escrow surplus check in the amount of $282.59. This check arrived the day before the daycare payment was due giving me time to deposit and have it clear before theirs did. I kid you not. Amazing, I tell you. It was a mere $2.41 shy of what I needed and I certainly had that.

Now I need to do really well on the yard sale tomorrow because I want to make more than the I have to pay for the hot water heater! Wish me luck, say some prayers and put out there to the Universe because my last yard sale wasn't very successful!!!!

Good Things to Come

Single parenting is hard, really hard for me.

It's hard because other then when I am work, we almost never get a break from each other. And that isn't good because when I am home I need to do laundry and cook meals and do house repairs and pay bills. I can't play with her constantly. But if I'm not doing that she's upset. And if I am playing with her constantly then I'm upset. I can either throw all of my responsibilities aside and interact with her each evening or I can run a household. But I can't seem to manage to do both.

I can either have a happy child or run a smooth household. I can either engage fully with my daughter in the evenings or have nutritious meals, a clean home and pay the bills on time. But if she is happy I am not because we are eating crap, the house is a mess and I am extremely stressed out because something very important isn't getting done.

I hate to admit it but I don't do single parenting very well. My priority has been Almi but I came to realize in the last couple of months that some drastic changes would have to happen because I must attend to myself and I must run a household and on a teachers salary with no support it just wasn't happening. My house is a wreck, the bills are paid late, I can't get to the gym, my friendships are suffering, my hobbies are being neglected, I rarely go out, I'm tired, I'm stressed out... this isn't living. It's not the life I want to live nor the life I want my daughter to experience!

So I started looking at my options:

I could drastically declutter and downsize.
I could get a second job.
I could sell my house.
I could share housing with a friend.
I could play the lottery regularly.
I could move to be closer to family.
I could move in with family.
I could look for a higher paying job.
I could move to a city where my money would go further.

Well, something panned out. I will share more in the coming months but suffice it to say we will be making a drastic change, one that I believe will be very good for our family. It will allow me to have more quality time with my daughter. It will allow me to have more time for me. It will allow me to save some money. It will add to our life story. Home cooked meals and a clean house are going to be possible. It's huge and scary and overwhelming and exciting but I am going to face my fears and step out on faith and make the change. For her. For me. For us. And I think that will be good.

Reclaiming Lost Energy

Summer is ending and that is truly bittersweet. She will never have another summer of being two! I wanted to expose her to so many things and to document them all but there were many things I could not/cannot do due to time constraints, financial constraints or that it's not possible with just me. Eh, it is what it is. We have more than most but man I wish I could have taken her to the beach more often. I don't live far from a body of water that passes as a beach but I couldn't take her because I need two pairs of eyes to watch her. She likes to run off and explore and if that happened who would watch our stuff? I never did get the shot I wanted of her in her adorable ruffled bathing suit. She had it on a few times when were at the beach in MV and at pool by my house but I couldn't stop and photograph her because I needed t to keep her safe. I bought her a life jacket with the plan of going canoeing or boating. Nah, didn't happen. Her daycare took her to a splashpark but I never took her for whatever reason. We never caught fireflies or laid in hammock. I never put together the water table I bought her.

I don't say these things to whine and complain. I will do better next summer. I say them because deep down--or really not so deep down really--I want so much more for my girl. I want her to experience all life has to offer and at times I feel like I am short changing her. I want her to experience opera and dance and gymnastics. I want her to take ballet and play soccer and have a huge swingset in the backyard. I want to take her to foreign countries and show her amazing things. And I want something as simple as allowing her to be able to be a curious toddler who gets into things and not try to avert every situation because I don't have the energy to clean up the mess it will make. Basically, I want her life to be full and enriching and fun. I don't want it to be all daycare/dinner/bath/bed/errands. I want so much more for her and I'm disappointed that at the moment I can't do more.

As always, things are so busy around here and I am beat. I knew going back to work would be hard while trying to raise Naomi; prepare healthy, home cooked meals; clean and have a social life. Unfortunately, the social life has taken a back seat. Well, that and the cleaning. ;-) But not the healthy meal part. I am trying hard to combat my constant fatigue but for years it has been a losing battle. Having a toddler at home has exacerbated the problem so I decided to try fasting to give my body a rest and try to regain some energy. For three days I only ate fresh or steamed fruits & veggies and water. After three days I was so bored I added sweet potatoes, fish, seeds, sea salt, olive oil, garlic and turmeric. It's still pretty boring but I am determined to feel better and thankfully the cravings are minimal. I can't believe I'm not tempted by the icy, cold Cokes in my fridge or the ice cream and chocolate chip cookies in my freezer. I am very motivated by wanting to be healthier for my daughter and by the fact that I have already shed 8 pounds! Woot! The scale hasn't read in the 140's in a l-o-o-o-o-ong time. I think I may even have a shot at seeing it in the 130's again at this rate! It's amazing to think I weighed 126 lbs. when I moved to California in 2000 and sometime last year I was as heavy as 160. Ugh. That was not pretty. But what was worse was how sluggish I felt and just blah. I am on my way to reclaiming my health and my drive is motivating my friends and family members as well which is nice. To top it off, my school district, which I hate for so many reasons, is at least doing one cool thing: they have started a program/contest to see if we can band together in teams to lose weight and exercise. Their bottom line is to lower their health insurance costs. Yeah, exercise and diet will no doubt help but if they stopped making the job so f'n demanding and the pay so sh!tty people wouldn't be stressed out and eating crap all day to survive the b.s. I'm just sayin'.

The Kindergarten team in my building has formed a team and I wanna win! I don't even know what the prizes are but I still wanna win! lol Anyhoo, I am hopeful that this will help other aspects of my/our life.

Thankfully, my new job is so much better in a lot of ways. I have some behavior problems and it's probably one of the lowest groups of kids I have ever taught (can't count to ten, don't know their letters, can't write or recognize their names, etc.). I seriously have my work cut out for me--I have to get them all on or above grade level by June (wish me luck on that one!!!!) but I really like my new colleagues a lot and that makes a world of difference! Here are some pics from my classroom:

Meanwhile, the apartment is still not rented. I have been having internet issues and every time I got on to try to fill out an ad, it was on the blink. Frustrating! I hope to get it rented out starting in October. I could really use the extra money!!

That's about all going on around here.

Here are some not-so-great photos of my funny, active girl.

And a video of her eating a concoction I prepared. You can hear how congested she is. She has had a runny nose, diarrhea or been congested practically every day since she's been home. I had her tested for everything under the sun and they all keep coming back negative. The doctor said she may have "toddler's diarrhea" or seasonal allergies. Maybe. Or she may have some sort of food intolerance or sensitivity. I am equally committed to getting her healthy so have begun preparing more homemade things for her now as well. As she eats up the boxed cereal, canned spaghetti and fruit cups I am not replacing them, but instead making things from scratch. Making things at home and controlling the ingredients is also a great way to get more fruits and veggies into her.. and me for that matter! No wonder I'm so tired!! :)



(sorry it cuts off as she's talking, the battery in my camera died. oops!)

Basement Update

Before:

After:



Before:


After:



Looking good. Now let's rent this bad boy out!
Mama needs some rental income!

Yard Sale #3

I had my third and final (?) yard sale today. I got a TON of donations and the forecast was for 70 degrees and sunny so I was pretty confident it would be a success. I had planned on doing it alone like last time but somewhere along the way I realized that was not going to be possible. For example, who would watch the things out to the front yard as I went back and forth into the house to set up? And what if I had to take a bathroom break? What then?

At the eleventh hour I sent out a desperate email begging and pleading for assistance and so many people came through for me. It was all seeming to come together. Sun, lots of help and lots of donations. I was ready.

I woke up bright and early this morning to go out and hang signs. I checked the weather one more time before heading out the door. 70 degrees and sunny. Great! I grabbed the signs and a stapler and headed out the door. This is what I saw:

Yup, that is a wet windshield. It rained late last night and it was still quite damp and wet. I was terribly disheartened but trying to remain positive I went out and hung signs anyway.

It never really cleared up. It was chilly and overcast all day-- certainly not the type of weather to bring out hoards of shoppers-- but I still made a fairly decent chunk of change. And more importantly I had FUN! I have such nice neighbors (I met several new ones) and it felt so good to be surrounded by so many people who truly care about my well being.

Deidra and Abraham both arrived at my house before 8am! Abraham brought bagels and coffee!

My sister came all the way from Pittsburgh!

My little neighbor stopped by.

I got smacked in the face by toys.

Some friends were more helpful than others. lol

I kept several things that didn't sell for my own daughter and took the rest to Goodwill.
It was a really great day.

Wow...

I asked friends, family and colleagues if they could donate things for my yardsale this weekend. Would you look at my living room!? I am so overwhelmed. I can not believe the amount of items I was given and to think several others said they would bring things tomorrow. I really think this is going to be a success! Pray for a sunny day!

Yard Sale try#2

If you have been reading my blog long enough you may remember the yard sale I had last year. It was a massive failure and I wasn't sure I was going to have another one but I was invited to be a part of 7-Family Yard Sale so I agreed. It wasn't at my house so I only took what I could fit into my car but it went a lot better than last year. Not only I did make more money but I also met some really cool people!

I met a woman who wanted to know more about my adoption because she and her husband are considering it for their second child. She was really nice and asked if we could exchange information. She has a four year old son and she was telling me how great her nanny share situation is, too. She said she know of several nanny share situations in the neighborhood and said she would ask around to see if anyone was interested in bringing on another child.

I also met a nice woman and her son whom she adopted domestically. She had her son in an Ergo baby carrier and it was great. He was content and her arms were free to shop and best of all she said that even though he was over 20lbs that it was extremely comfortable. I plan on doing lots of baby wearing so an Ergo it is-- especially since they can be used for a child up to 40 lbs! Must add that to my registry.

I also met another really nice woman with two cute children whom she and her husband are raising to be trilingual. She was selling a TON of baby clothes and her daughter is just a little bit older that I think my daughter will be. I know where to get my clothes from now on! She also has a couch I may buy and today she sent me her information so I could follow up with her on it and added that even if I didn't want to buy the couch that we should keep in touch because she'd like to get to know me better. It was a really cool mix of folks and many of the customers were speaking different languages and many live in my neighborhood! It was fun! It was productive!

Now the weather wasn't the best (it was gray and overcast and drizzled very lightly intermittently so that may have kept some folks away) but all in all I made about $70 this time! That's $69 more than I made last time so it was definitely more successful. Thing is though, I want to make $700 at a yard sale. I want to be able to say that I bought my daughter's plane ticket to America with the proceeds or something like that. So I will be trying again. I will be hosting yard sale #3 at the end of the month. I'm thinking the day before Halloween. I hope it's not raining or bitterly cold. It gives me time to collect more donations. I'm really going to put the word out this time and plan on setting up a staging area in my basement for all the items. I am also going to invite all my neighbors to participate so we can have a lot of families be involved. Here's hoping yard sale #3 is a resounding success!

Back to Work

...and back to the world of complete exhaustion. I can't remember ever being so tired. I can barely make it through the day without falling asleep (though that will change next week with a class full of 22 kindergartners!) I drag myself out of bed after seven hours of sleep and still need to stop off for a large coffee. Then I go through the motions looking forward to when I can go home and relax. I hope when I start my new schedule next week it helps me with my energy level cause being tired all day isn't fun. And when I am exhausted I get sick. This summer I was able to go four whole months without getting sick (including part of May). It was a record for me. And so noticeable. I remember saying to myself, 'Wow, I haven't been sick in such a long time!' Last year I had strep throat three or four times. It was crazy! Five year olds are germ factories and I must have some sort of extra-weak immune system or something cause I get whatever goes around. Every. Single. Time. I was forced to take sick days which of course now translates to fewer days with pay when I take leave this winter. I have to use up my ten days of accrued sick leave before I can access FMLA. I asked them what happens if I or my baby gets sick after I return to work and the answer was I take leave without pay. Great. Gotta love the family-friendly American workplace. Not.

Meanwhile my Canadian teacher friend is in Namibia picking up her daughter. She emailed her principal before she left and said she'd be back in March. No need to find a sub. No requirement to write sub plans. No stress. And nine months paid leave. I'm happy for her, but so unfair!

I know I keep complaining about this but it makes it so hard to look forward to parenting knowing I won't have even one slim dime come in for the two months I plan to take off. I want to take off the rest of the year and bond with my daughter. I want to feed her and put her down for her nap and I want my face to be the one she sees when she wakes up. I want to take her to the park and the pool and for walks in the neighborhood. I want to be the one who hears her speak her first words.

If I could just figure out how to manage not going back after leave. At this rate I estimate I will be traveling to Ethiopia sometime before Christmas, let's say mid-December. If I take off two months, I will be expected back to work in mid-February. When I go back there will still be 4 more months left of the school year. And then the next two (summer vacation) which are also unpaid. In total, that amounts to eight months unpaid. There is no way. Don't want the house to go in foreclosure or anything, but dang! I do-not-want-to-go-back! I wish I could figure it out.

Bargain Shopping Pt. II

Part II - CVS and the ECBs

Do you shop at CVS? I do, all the time. It's very convenient. Did you ever notice at the end of your receipt where you sometimes see that you have earned some Extra Care Bucks? I used to see those but I didn't use them very often. Well, I have learned that you can stock pile them and use a bunch on one shopping trip. If you look in their weekly circular you will see items that will earn you ECBs. If you buy those items, plus use coupons from your Sunday paper, you really don't pay all that much. I wasn't a believer until I tried it. Two weeks ago I went to CVS and purchased items that earned me $11.00 in ECBs. Now granted one of those items was eyedrops and I didn't really need eyedrops, but I figured I may need them one day. The thing is, the eyedrops cost $7.99 and the ECBs earned on them was $7.99 so they were basically free. So, why not?!

OK, so back to this week. First I looked at this week's circular and looked for items that would earn me some ECBs. Then I looked for items on sale for which I already had a coupon. Some of the items I didn't need right away but knew I would at some point (like toilet paper, toothpaste, etc.) so buying them cheaply made sense. Here, my friends, is the result of all that hard work.


And the best part? The total for all those items was only $6.10! Seriously! The allergy medicine and the batteries were free (coupon on the end of previous shopping receipt). The Colgate was 2 for 1 and I had a $1 off coupon. The candle was free (coupon in Sunday's paper). The other items were either very cheap or earned me more ECBs --except for the Vitamin Water.. I was just thirsty! The best part, though, was that I alos returned a rain poncho that I had purchased last spring and got a credit of $7.35 so I left the store with all those things plus $1.45!

Give the ECBs at CVS a try. You might be surprised at your savings!

Bargain Shopping Part I

OK, seriously, I have taken bargain shopping to a whole new level! Before this year I never paid much attention to what things cost. If I wanted to go out to dinner, I did. If I wanted an iPod, an iMac or a new camera I bought 'em. Since I was never terribly extravagant (I bought my car used and I actually like clothes from the GAP, etc.) it was never much of an issue. Well, my new reality is that I am not making as much as I should be this year plus I'm about to be adding a baby into the mix. As challenging as this year is going to be (budget-wise) I can actually say that I am grateful for it-- that I can see truly see the silver lining-- because for once in my life I am putting myself on a budget and am paying attention to spending. The lessons are numerous --being mindful of waste and excess, learning to live more simply, exercising delayed gratification, understanding what it is like to be without, learning valuable habits which I can model for my daughter, etc. and it has been a humbling, eye-opening learning experience.

Part I - The Thrift Store

The old mindset is gone-the one that was 'too embarrassed' to shop in thrift stores. And let me reiterate. We're talking thrift stores not consignment shops. I still shop in consignment shops but sometimes those shops are dare I say, expensive? And besides, shopping in consignment shops is considered trendy or funky. You're cool if you wear vintage- or unique or different. But thrift store shopping is completely different. We're talking stores of the Goodwill/Salvation Army ilk. Stores where I used to donate to (still do) not shop from (unless it was for a costume party). The first time I went into one of the many enormous thrift stores in my area, truth to tell, I was a bit embarrassed. Call me elitist or snobby or pretentious but I didn't feel like I belonged in there. My mindset was still in retail. I was used to the clean, bright department stores with the impeccably dressed cashiers and a pianist in the corner giving my shopping experience a dash of cultural flair. I was used to knowing where to look to find my given size, a generous dressing room to try on my selections and having my clothes wrapped in tissue before being carefully placed into nice large shopping bags.

Thrift store shopping requires a paradigm shift. You have to throw that retail mentality out. the. window. The moment you walk in the front door the musty smell will hit you in the face and trust me it gets worse from there. There are some things I have come to expect including

* screaming children darting in and out the clothing racks
* clothes with stains or tears
* spending a lot of time looking and not having much to show for it
* dressing rooms filled with clothes and locks that don't work
* employees who don't speak much English
* cheap plastic shopping bags
* poop on the floor (OK that only happened once.. but ew!)

I know it sounds awful but it's really not. It did take some getting used to and for me that took about three trips. On the fourth trip there I didn't mind seeing the college students giving me that pitiful look of feeling sorry for me doing real shopping as they were just in there searching for an outfit for a 70s party. Was I embarrassed? A twinge perhaps but it swiftly passed because I realized they are still stuck in the overpriced retail mentality; they just don't get it yet. Maybe they won't ever, but I am sure glad that I did. Thrift stores aren't for everyone but the pluses, for me, outweigh the minuses. What are the pluses?

* the sales people aren't pushy and don't follow you around
* saving boatloads of $
* the feeling you get when you leave with your cheap plastic bag bursting at the seams

I have found some incredible deals in our area thrift stores and I almost feel sorry for the knuckleheads who haven't discovered them yet and still pay $60 for a blouse when they could have gotten a really nice one (often new ones with the price tags still attached) for $6. What started out as a way to get some inexpensive clothes for my daughter has turned into something totally different altogether. I now look in other parts of the store to see if there is stuff for me or for the house. Here's an example. I saw this nice sweater there yesterday. It's brown with pink trim. It looks brand new, it's comfortable and it has a scarf attached to it. Great for work.


Cute, huh? And it only cost $3.50! (On Mondays everything is 50% off!)


To all of you who still turn your nose up at thrift stores, I say give it three tries and if you still hate it, fine..but I am sure there will be others like me who will cross over to my side. And the giddy feeling I get when I am told what the total is will keep me coming back for more!


to be continued...

Workplace Adoption Benefits

My school district doesn't have any benefits for adoptive parents. No financial adoption assistance and no paid leave. I am in the midst of constructing a letter to them to see if I can be instrumental in facilitating change.

Currently, biological parents are provided significant benefits including full coverage of medical expenses associated with the birth. In my research, hospital fees from a normal birth average about $10,000. Multiples or complications add to the expense, of course. Adoptions are rarely $10,000. I'd guess that $20,000 was more the average, yet parents who choose to form their families through adoption get no financial assistance at all.

In addition, after the delivery, biological mothers get six weeks paid leave for a vaginal birth and eight for a cesarean. Adoptive parents get no paid leave. None. Biological mothers get paid leave because it's deemed a "medical condition" and a necessary time needed to heal. There is no consideration about what healing adoptive parents or children might need.

Adoptive parents can suffer from post adoptive depression--much like postpartum depression-- causing emotional suffering and distress. And both the parent and the child need time to attach. Not sufficiently attaching can cause future problems for the child in socializing and how the child reacts to a situation. I haven't done a whole lot of research on the topic, but I am pretty confident that not attaching properly would fall under the umbrella of a psychological condition--one that could potentially be lessened or avoided altogether if adoptive parents were given time to work on the bonding process. I have no idea how long that would take. I suppose it's different for every child and varies greatly based on age and where they spent their first months or years of life. Clearly, adoptive parents should be granted paid leave for this critical process. And if you throw in the fact that they will have already paid $20,000+ out of pocket for an international adoption, taking this necessary leave, and not being paid for any of it, is an additional financial hit--one we willingly take for the health of our child and family--but one that can present a challenge for many.

I am doing research on the topic and hope to mail a letter off to the human resources department this week. I am going to start with a simple one page letter highlighting just the key points of why it is needed and how it benefits my employer. If I don't hear anything back I plan to write a more detailed letter and send it out to HR and others above the HR department. I hope they will consider making changes to our benefits plan to include adoptive parents and it'd be great if I could benefit from the changes. But even if I can't this year or they choose to not make any changes, I can at least say I put in the effort for myself and all the other PAPs out there.

July update #1

My plan for July was to focus solely on health, organization and fundraising. It's time to embarrass myself into an action give an update.

1. Health. I have done nothing new here. I still eat whatever/whenever. As I was typing this I looked down at my thigh spread out across the computer chair and gasped in disgust. I have never been so fat and out of shape in my life. I told myself starting TOMORROW I will work out for at least an hour every day. Hell, I'm not working... I can't say I don't have time. What else? Oh, I made a doctor's appointment for my stupid foot injury. I thought it was better but after playing tennis last month it has hurt consistently. It is so frustrating because it even hurts to walk now which means no tennis this season. Makes me want to cry. Seriously. Which leads to why I am not working out and why I am getting so bloody fat (see side bar). So depressing!!!

2. Organizing. I have so much to do, it's overwhelming. Last week I started by rearranging furniture and touching up paint in a couple of rooms. Now that that is finished, there's the big job of actually organizing the space. I started with the closet. Even though it's been over 70 degrees for weeks now, I still hadn't found the time to pack up my winter clothes and put out the summer wardrobe. I started that task yesterday and in the meantime created a huge pile of clothes to consign (mostly things my fat thighs can't squeeze into -which fit perfectly last summer-sigh) and a pile of clothes to donate. Tomorrow I will finish the closet and fold and put away all remaining clothes. And then on to the next space-- the master bedroom.

3. Fundraising. I have not started this yet but it would be so great to make some extra money upgrade out of economy, to stay in a nicer place in Ethiopia and to help someone who might accompany me with their ticket. I have come up with some ideas. They are as follows:

* have a yard sale (with donations from friends&neighbors)
* create something to sell - candles, t-shirts, lip balm?
* tutor
* get a 2nd job somewhere with adoption credits, like Starbucks
* have a raffle
* have a silent auction
* sell stuff through consignment, Craig's List and/or eBay.

Does anyone have a great fundraising idea that either worked for you personally or you read about on a blog? Could you please send me the link?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

July Goals

It is July 1, 2009. I only have 6 weeks left of summer vacation. It's time to get focused! I had my time to relax and I got 2 days at the beach, but July is here and before I know it the summer will be over and I will have nothing to show for it. So here are the goals for July:

1. Health
2. Organization
3. Fundraising

That's it cause currently, I am being pulled in just too many directions!!! I would love to do some international travel but that's not in the cards this summer. I would enjoy spending my summer on three of my hobbies - writing, scrapbooking and photography. I have children's book ideas in my head that are begging to be down on paper. I want to create an album of firsts for my daughter. I need to read my new fancy camera's manual and learn how to really use it.

I should spend some time with family in Pennsylvania. I should be counting calories. I want to try out some new recipes. I want to start up my business idea.

There are a million things I should or want or need to do but I simply can not do them all. So, I am going to only focus on those three for July.

Health:

I am not going to worry how fattening something is or how many carbs or calories or fat is in something. Instead, I am going to work out every day, take my vitamins and eat more meals at home. I am also going to set up doctor's appointments. I want to be as healthy and fit and as strong as possible when I become a new mom. Single parenting is going to be exhausting (mentally and physically) and the more prepared I am, the better.

Organization:

I am going to get this house together once and for all! It is so cute and has so much potential but with all my clutter it's cuteness is buried deep underneath my junk. My clutter has led to injury, loss of money, stress, frustration and more. It's time to get it under control!

Fundraising:

I continue to worry about not having enough time to bond with my child while staying home on unpaid leave. I know I will take off two months but what if I feel like an additional month or two is needed? I need to plan for that. I also need to raise funds for travel. At the moment I do not have anyone going with me to Ethiopia. I had asked someone to go but due to their financial situation, it may not be in the cards. This person is my first choice. If I was able to pay for part or all of their flight, perhaps it could still happen. So, aside from the adoption expenses those are two things that I hadn't planned on that require additional money. If I start now I won't have to worry about them when the time arises.

So, for the month of July I will devote my time only to health, organizing and fundraising. Sure, I will go on dates and see family and work on my books but those things will not be the priority. I will post photos of my progress from time to time.

Wish me luck!

Week of Purge

Week of Purge? What the heck is that?!

I made it up.

I am sick of being surrounded by clutter and junk I don't need! Clothes that don't fit, soaps and lotions I don't use, rough sheets I bought a decade ago, jewelry I don't wear, books I don't read, expired medications, old bills, dried out pens and broken pencils, notepads, address labels, seasonal decorations... it goes on and on. My space is being taken up with junk. Now don't get me wrong, lots of the stuff is nice --which is why I hold on to it, but why? Because it might come back in style? Or because I paid good money for it? Or because I think I can sell it and make some money or give it as a gift. But the problem is, I haven't. The stuff just sits. And frankly it's getting on my nerves.

Hence: Week of Purge.

This week I will be donating, giving away, or throwing out stuff that I haven't used this year. And if it's something that I like and really must have then I will put it in its proper place so I'll know where it is and it will in fact get some use. No sense in keeping great stuff hidden in the back of a closet.

I may make some money, I may not. But my life will be richer. Richer in space. Richer in peace. Zen-rich. I will feel so much better and others will be benefiting at the same time.

In addition, I am going to rid my cabinets of excess food. I hate when I buy produce that goes bad before I eat it or things that expire sitting on the shelf. How does this happen when I live alone and only shop for one? Well, I don't shop for one and I have a weird relationship with food.

For example:

• I must eat something sweet after something salty and something salty after something sweet... Sometimes I overdue the sweet-salty-sweet-salty thing until I'm totally stuffed! So there is often something sweet and something salty on hand for this indulgence.
  

Here's another one:

• I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it.
  

Yes, totally spoiled. I don't know how I got like this. It certainly wasn't how I was raised. My parents served baked chicken, rice and salad three nights a week when I was growing up. My friends used to tease me about it but, hey, I can't blame them. It was tasty, healthy and economical. I have heard of parents cooking what their child(ren!) ask for each night like they are short order cooks in a restaurant. That was not happening in my house. I had no say. Maybe that's why I want what I want when I want it now?

Well, problem is it's not economical (in fact, it's down right self-indulgent) and it's not practical to continue with a child around --from the cost to the message it conveys. My cabinets are stuffed with food, my freezer is crammed; yet I want none of it. I want sushi or pizza or a Greek salad and if none of that is available in my house I'll go buy it and I'm happy. But my wallet is not. I need to break the habit. I want to become the mom who can create a whole meal by whipping together things that are already in the kitchen. I want to spend money on other things.

So, next week, except for perishable items, I will not buy anything new. No diet sodas out of the machine at work. No Starbucks on the way to work. No drinks after work with friends. I will not spend one dime on food or snacks of any type until June. I will save some money, I will eat up the food I have and I will appreciate the fact that I do have a lot of food right here and be grateful. (I got the idea from Christie's blog --though she did it for a whole month and she didn't spend on anything at all--no snacks, no groceries, no magazines, no trips to CVS or Target, no nothing!! I'm not quite at that level yet. Maybe over the summer?)

So, it's on! I am going to purge myself of excess junk and use up the massive amounts of food in my cabinets and on my counters. (Yes, there is so much food that it doesn't all fit and some things have to sit on the counter. What kind of sense does that make? I know, none.) I'm starting tomorrow morning and will go to the end of May. Purge my home of excess junk and no stopping for anything else edible.

I hope to learn how easy it is to use the foods that are already in the house and to gain a sense of calm and order as things are picked up, donated and sold. Hopefully it will translate into better habits and some savings.

I am looking forward to it! I'll post during the week of any successes I have. Feel free to join in on Purge Week or simply wish me luck! Cause from a self-proclaimed pack rat and food snob I am going to need it!

seriously?

I went out to dinner the other night. As I was leaving the parking garage a man pulled up beside me in a brand spanking new, sparkling white Lamborghini. It looked so out of place in that neighborhood-- I mean I used to see them all the time when I lived in LA, but that gleaming car driving out of the grimy garage caught my attention.

I looked over at the man and said something about how rare it was to see such a Lamborghini in these parts and he took that to mean I was interested and started flirting. "Hi, I'm Paul Portugal," he said.
Me (trying not to roll my eyes.. I mean seriously. Paul Portugal? Did he step out of a Harlequin romance novel?) "Oh, hi. I was just commenting on the car, that's all."
PP: "Girl, I not trying to flirt with you, I was just being friendly." (yeah, right)
Me: "OK, then. Well, good night."
PP: "Well, wait, pull over and chat with me a bit."

I was about to say good-bye and drive off but was forced to pull forward when the car behind me was unable to exit the garage.. so I pulled over.
PP got out of the car and chatted me up about all his entrepreneurial exploits (yawn).

As we were chatting a cop pulled up behind his car, ran his tags and drove off.

PP: "Man, I hate that!"
Me (completely oblivious to what had just happened): "Hate what?"
PP: "That %*!# happens to me all the time when I am in this car. It's just because I'm dressed like this, all hip and cool.
Me (wondering how we had such different opinions about a late 40-something man in a white velour track suit and diamond-encrusted medallion around his neck): "Oh, yeah, I bet that'd be annoying."
PP: "It is. But it's just this car and outfit. When I am in a suit and my black convertible Bentley with the cranberry interior, that never happens."

Yes, he said that. I am not kidding. That is a quote.

Yuck.

Is it just me or do you find ostentatious men completely unappealing?
I mean, I'm not going to insist we ride the bus instead of in a date's $100,000 car, but come on.
The good that could be done in the world with a fraction of that money!
According to this study, I am in the minority.