Charlie!

Yesterday I got to meet Charlie, the adorable daughter of Adopting1Soon (who might need a new name unless she is in the process of another adoption!). Her mother just got back from picking up Charlie in Addis and since she's in my area for a few days she and Tami and I decided to meet for lunch. It was really fun meeting and getting to know a blogging world friend in person and she was so nice and so generous with her new baby. I got to hold and kiss that cutie patootie. :) Charlie is such a sweet, good-natured baby. I hope I am so lucky!

Adopting1Soon, it was so good to meet you.
I hope we keep in touch! :-)

Some Much Needed R&R

The last few weeks have been extremely stressful. The end of the school year and finishing my dossier simultaneously would have been stressful enough, but add to that some serious family drama and -- well, it was getting to be too much. The multiple daily helpings of ice cream to combat the stress were not really helping so when my friend suggested I come down to Nags Head for a couple of days, I jumped at the chance.

It was exactly what I needed...

Piping hot coffee each morning on the deck. Laying out by the pool. Grilled salmon and shrimp and peppers. Fresh fruit and homemade ice cream. Blazing hot sunshine every day. Spending time with the cutest black lab ever. Cold beers. Walks on the beach. Jumping into the waves. Kayaking in the early morning hours. Glorious sunsets. Laughing and shopping and talking for hours with a childhood friend of over 35 years...

Seriously, does it get any better than that?

(Btw, she vetoed all photos of her but trust me she and her family were there!)

My Time at Kidane Mehret

When I was in volunteering in Ethiopia, I spent an afternoon at Kidane Mehret (the orphanage mentioned in yesterday's post and pictured above). It was a really difficult afternoon. I met a child there who, I was told, had just recently arrived. I don't know what her story was or how she ended up at KM but she was a beautiful little girl with a head of dark curls, about 6. She was very shy but would let a smile slip out from time to time. She enjoyed having her picture taken and by the end of the afternoon would sit close to me or right on my lap and just smile and smile. I can't imagine how she must have been feeling, recently orphaned and surrounded by strangers and not speaking a word of Amharic. She is on my lap in this photo.


I also met a set of 12 year old boy/girl twins. I played soccer with the boy for a bit and after awhile he felt comfortable and sat down to speak with me. I was blown away at how polite he was an that he spoke impeccable English. After talking for awhile, he learned that I was planning to adopt. After a few more questions he inquired about what age child I wanted. When he learned I was thinking of an infant girl, the look on his face told me he had had this conversation before. He was way too polite to say what was on his mind but I knew he wondered why the babies were always chosen. He then uttered words I will never forget. He said, "When you go back to America can you help me and my sister find a family?" At that moment I was cursing not being married cause it would be so much easier to adopt 12 year old twins with a spouse but I knew I couldn't do it as a single woman. I did promised him though that I would try to find them a family. When I got back to the States I did bring them up to a couple of friends of mine and hoped they would be interested but I was unable to truly fulfill his request. I still feel guilty about that. I wonder where he and his sister are.

We spent some time playing outside with the older kids and then went up to the nursery to visit the babies. The nursery was a small room with rows and rows of metal cribs filled with sweet, adorable babies. Some were sleeping; others were just staring out into space waiting for someone to notice them. It was as if they learned that crying wouldn't bring any comfort so why bother? It was eerily quiet. I remember speaking to a very kind nun, also with excellent English. In just the hour or so I visited with her I could tell she was a loving, kind soul-- dedicating her life to taking care of these orphans.

The hardest part of the day by far, though, was seeing a little girl with what appeared to be hydrocephalus. Her head must have been 3x the normal size and she was lying on a counter unable to sit up or move around. She was facing a blank, white wall but every now and then a nun would come by and speak to her or rub her belly or smooth down her hair. They clearly cared for her but there were simply not enough nuns on staff to attend to her every need. Absolutely heartbreaking. The image of her lying there was etched in my mind for a long, long time-- the extreme unfairness of it all. No family, no healthcare, no one to attend to her needs and keep her comfortable and happy and entertained. No one to sing to her or teach her things. No joy. Just lying on her back, day in, day out. I was told that a family wanted to adopt her but since they weren't sure she would survive the flight she was not cleared for adoption. I think we all knew they were just keeping her comfortable until she passed away.

Love This!

By SHARON HENDRY

Published: 26 May 2009 in The Sun

SINGLE mum Jane Surtees certainly has a Lotto heart.

Like millions of others, the mum-of-five had dreamed of winning the Lottery and buying cars, houses and designer clothes.

But she also had another wish — to help the plight of countless starving children in Ethiopia she had seen on television over the years.

So when Jane scooped a £7.5million jackpot five months ago, she immediately started planning her trip to the African country.

Speaking exclusively for the first time since her win, Jane, 48, says: “Winning the Lotto has changed my life and now I want to help change the lives of others.

Care for kids ... Jane Surtees visits the orphanage

“I’ll never forget seeing the faces of so many beautiful children left poor and starving by events in Ethiopia and I wanted to go and see how I could help.

“In the end life is all about luck. Because of my good fortune, I will never have to worry about money again but these children have been left vulnerable and orphaned by problems that aren’t their fault.”

Jane travelled to Ethiopia’s capital Addis Ababa last week and headed straight to the Kidane Mehret Children’s Home, which cares for 120 orphans. The youngest is three days old, the oldest 17 years.

Run by Maltese nuns sister Lutgarda and sister Camilla for the past 40 years, it takes in orphaned and needy children from the street and provides them with shelter, food, clothing and love.

The cramped orphanage is run purely on donations and can only feed the kids three small meals a day. Meat is a once-a-week treat and toys and books are scarce.

But Jane was struck by how contented the kids seemed despite having so little.

Close to tears, she says: “To have the opportunity to come here and see and feel the pride these children have is incredible.

“The nuns have achieved so much with so little, it is humbling. To see it is worth all the money in the world. It has changed my life.”

Jane immediately donated £50,000 and has pledged a sizeable annual commitment to support Kidane and a project called Beyond The Orphanage (BTO).

Founded by Australian Geoff Hucker, 45, BTO provides shelter, education, counselling and medical treatment for orphans who cannot find homes and those forced to leave their orphanage on reaching maturity.

During her five-day trip, Jane met 15-year-old Workeneh Fanetay.

After losing his parents to tuberculosis when he was just four, he had to bring up his two-year-old brother alone.

One of 50,000 children on the streets in Addis Ababa, he bought minimal food with money he earned running errands on a building site and helping neighbours.

Since joining BTO 18 months ago, Workeneh and his brother Yismalem have moved into a modest mud house, planted vegetables on their plot and both attend school.

An estimated five million Ethiopian children are orphans - 800,000 of whose parents died of Aids or HIV-related causes, a figure that is steadily rising.

Baby love ... Jane meets some of the orphanage's

younger residents

In the past, famine, conflict and other diseases contributed to Ethiopia’s massive orphan population.

Jane’s new life as a philanthropist is a world away from her former one as a single mum to Rachel, 23, Richard, 21, Naomi, 12, Leona, 11, and eight-year-old Jasmyn.

She says: "Before the win, money was a problem. We lived in a three-bedroom semi and weren't able to afford holidays."

Jane's lucky numbers, chosen from family birthdays, came up on December 10, 2008.

She recalls: "I flicked on Teletext to read the story about Woolworths going bankrupt and saw my numbers on the screen.

Blown away ... kind-hearted Jane now has the chance to

help others

“I knew them off by heart but didn’t connect at first. I kept thinking: ‘What are my numbers doing on this page?’ ”

The enormity of her win is still sinking in. Jane says: “The most overwhelming feeling is that of having security and choices.”

Jane has treated herself to a new four-bedroom house in her hometown of Whitby,

North Yorks, another five-bedroom one in York and three BMWs for her, Rachel and

Richard.

And in July she will marry long-term partner Mark Lisbon, 42, a stunt co-ordinator.

But Jane is adamant that children in Ethiopia will continue to share her win.

She says: “So many people say: ‘Well you can’t save the world so what’s the point in trying?’ but my attitude is even if some of my money can help a few kids, it might inspire others to do the same.

“The sisters at the orphanage are modern-day saints. What I have seen in Ethiopia will stay with me for the rest of my life.

“If everyone who won the Lottery shared their luck, our world would be a better place to live in.

To support Jane’s Ethiopian charities, go to beyondtheorphanage.org and fcj-kmch.org.

My Birthday

Today is my birthday!

I drove to Pittsburgh.

And had an Oreo cake. Yum!



My main goal for this year is to be present.
Live in the moment!!
(...and bring my daughter home, get a book published and meet a great man!)


** And I now share a birthday with SJP's twins, Marion and Tabitha. Cool!

Why Did a Boy Have to Ruin a Perfectly Good Day??

Hattie asked me if I wanted to come over and go swimming and go out to lunch for my birthday. It rained in the morning but cleared up nicely just in time for our get together! We had such a great time. Here we are at lunch:


After lunch she insisted we stop by her favorite coffee shop for a cupcake:


"No, I'm too full.. Wait! They have chocolate cupcakes with white icing?? Yes, I'd love one!"


We were having so much fun, the weather was perfect and I was so excited to be going on a first date with a new, hot guy! I was so happy. Proof of how happy I was...


The high was not to last... stupid boys... :(
What is the deal with these men?! Seriously!!

Here we go...

I met a guy. Rob. (yes, I am putting the jerk's full name out here. He's lucky I'm not posting his phone number for you all to call him and tell him what a jerk he is! lol) Rob, Rob, Rob... Totally cute. Tall. 40. Has twins. A teacher. We chatted. He said he was single. I said we should hang out this summer since we are both off. He said he'd love to but he had just met someone who "intrigued more than most" and he wanted to see where things went with her. I wished him well.

The next day he contacted me. Said he had been too hasty and really wanted to get together. I said great but inquired about Ms. Intrigues More Than Most. He said she was talking marriage after their third date and he felt they weren't on the same page and would I like to go out on Saturday night? Yes, great! He said he wanted to drive to me (he lives about 30 minutes north) because there was more to do in my area. We agreed on 7pm. While Hattie and I were in the restaurant he called. It was 5:30pm. He said he was looking forward to getting together but still needed to run a couple of errands and could we push it back a bit? That worked out better for me, so no problem. "How do you feel about dinner, drinks and going to listen to some music?", he asked. Normally that would have seemed like a lot for a first date but I was really interested in him based on our phone conversations so I agreed. He said he was about to enter a bad calling area so was going to hang up but would research somewhere to listen to some good music and call me back. We hung up and Hattie and I talked about how perfect it was that I was having a date on a beautiful Saturday night with a new, hot guy and especially great since my birthday is on Monday. Yay! I had butterflies.

We left the restaurant and got the cupcakes. We sat outside and laughed and talked and took pictures. As we were walking back to her condo my phone rang. It was Rob. I was sure he was calling to tell me where we were going to meet. Here is what he actually said.

Hello?
Hey, it's Rob.
Hi, Rob.
Hey, look, I don't want to come down there after all.
I'm sorry, you what?
I don't want to drive down there. I don't feel like it.
I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.
I don't feel like seeing you. I am going to go out with someone else tonight.
Wait. What?
I said, I don't feel like driving down there to see you. I want to see someone else.
Ok...
We have been talking on the phone for a month and she and I have a much better connection. We've been having like 2 hour conversations and I want to spend time with her tonight.
(I'm in total shock at this point) Um, OK..
So, that's cool, right?
Wait. What? You are going to go out with someone else tonight? (what he said is finally registering)
Yes.
Is this the woman who intrigued more than most?
No, I am done with her. I was upfront about that. This is someone else. And I am really looking forward to meeting her so I wanted to let you know.
OK. Well, yeah, thanks for letting me know.

Click.

Father's Day Frosty Weekend

If you haven't heard, this weekend (June 20th and 21st) is Father's Day Frosty Weekend. You can read the details by clicking on the link but basically they will donate $.50 from every Frosty sold or $.25 from every Father's Day card created to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. I believe the Dave Thomas Center focuses on foster care, I'm not sure. What I do know is they have a packet of information available to help you talk with your employer about adding adoption benefits to the maternity leave policy. My school district definitely needs to make some changes in that part of our contract! My packet is here. I haven't had time to look at it yet but I will most definitely be reading it in the coming weeks!

So, buy a Frosty or make a card! I definitely will!

What is Father's Day Frosty Weekend? - FrostyCard.com

Shared via AddThis

Tying Up Loose Ends

I love the end of the school year. I love my kindergartners but it's so nice to know that at the end of the year I am no longer responsible for them. I can throw out all the files I kept on them and everything with their name on it and start fresh with a new batch in the fall! This has been a crazy past couple of weeks with end of the year assessments and report cards, etc. and then I threw in an end of the year performance for their parents. It was a lot of fun and so worth it!

Monday was the performance and my students performed their little butts off! They were too adorable! Tuesday report cards were due and it was the kids' last day. Today, Wednesday, I went in to clean up my classroom. And now I'm officially done with the school year. What a load off!

In adoption news, my dossier was approved by my agency and will be making it's way (back) to DC by the end of the week. I'm not sure how long it will be there before heading off to Ethiopia. But it feels good to have that done, too! Yikes! Things seem to be happening so quickly all of a sudden!

So..

School year- done.
Dossier - done.

Now onto the next task: organizing my house! I didn't do so well with Week of Purge. I don't think the timing was right. I had way too much other stuff going on. But now I have time! This week I will move all my crap to the basement (command central). In command central I will put things into 4 piles:

* sell
* donate (i.e. Goodwill)
* give away (to friends or on Freecycle)
* throw away

I can not wait to get rid of all this clutter! And then it will be on to preparing for my daughter!

Another Great Saturday Night

Friday night I went out with my old friend, J. (not to be confused with J from the other night) He's really fun to be around, smart, witty, no kids, we have mutual friends, he's into me... the kind of guy you want to seriously consider making permanent.

We shared some drinks, some laughs. He told me I'd make a great mom. And that he considers me 'the one that got away'. He invited me to dinner for Saturday night. I agreed. He asked me if I wanted chicken, beef, lamb or fish. I said fish would be nice. I said I'd bring wine.

I was late but cute in my sundress and heels. When I arrived, J was still cleaning his house and and no food had been prepared. No food had been purchased. "We can run to the grocery store", he said.

I was annoyed. J was very cavalier and said I was overreacting.

"Let's just go grab a drink somewhere," I suggested, but J wanted to further discuss how much I was overreacting. I did not. I told him to meet me out front. Five minutes passed. He did not come out of the house. I got more annoyed so I texted him, "bring me my wine."

He got angry. Said I was being petty. He was right but I told him the wine was for a dinner party and there was no dinner; when he had another one and there was actually dinner I would bring the wine back!

He got angry and told me to go home. I did.

Five minutes later he texted an apology. I apologized, too, but damn!


Did I overreact? Should I call him and clear the air? Or is he wrong?

(And yes, I know this is an adoption blog and this post seems to be totally irrelevant, but it is relevant! I am only 2 days into my wait for a referral so in the meantime I will date. Gotta find a daddy for my little girl! LOL)

I Beat My Own Deadline

I FedExed my dossier last night at 10:12pm.

I am done with the paperchase and now officially waiting for a referral!!

dating woes...

I had a first date awhile back. This man has three children so it took him some serious convincing to get me to go out with him in the first place. I finally agreed when he said something like, 'You expect me to accept your daughter but you won't accept my children?' OK, guilt. Yes, I'll go out with you.

We went to a great restaurant. And we had a decent time. He was entertaining, generous, engaging. It was fun. I thanked him. He hugged me good-bye. Did I think he was the one? No. Would I have gone out with him again? Sure. At my age you keep your options open. He called me during the week expressing how much he was into me and how excited he was to have met me, etc., etc. He scheduled a date one week from our first date, the following Saturday night. We briefly talked the night before and he said he would call the next day to confirm. He did not. I ended up texting him asking him if we were going to meet in the same spot. I never heard from him.

Fast forward two weeks. Phone rings.

I had long ago erased his number so I picked up not knowing who was on the other end.

Hello?

Hey, it's J.

Oh, J. Hi.

So, how are you?

Um, fine...

What's wrong?

Do you not remember planning a date weeks ago and standing me up?

I didn't stand you up.

You did. You asked me out for Saturday night and never called to confirm.

Oh, yeah, well my phone died and I had no way of getting in touch with you.

Your phone died?

Yeah, I dropped it and it broke into a million smithereens.

I see.

I don't know if you remember but I have a Treo.

No, I didn't notice.

Remember? I'm sure I pulled it out when we were on the date. Well, anyway, I don't know if you know how they work, but you can download your address book from them onto the computer, but mine was new so I hadn't done that yet so I lost your contact information.

I see... then how were you able to contact me just now?

Oh, um, I got my phone bill and recognized your number from there. I saw it awhile back actually but I have been getting work done on my deck so I guess my priorities weren't in order. I was just so caught up with contractors.. You know how that goes.

I see. So, you were so busy with your contractors that even though you have had my information for awhile, you didn't think it was important enough to take 5 minutes out of your day to call me?

Well, yeah. It's been crazy around here. But I want to call and apologize cause I am really not like this.

(um, you actually are exactly like that but whatever) Ok.

But the good news is, my deck is done!

Great. I''m happy for you. (major sarcasm)

Well, you have my number now so give me a call sometime!

Listen, J. To be honest with you, I don't see that happening. I wasn't enough of a priority to you for you to call and apologize as soon as you were able so I really don't see myself calling you.

OK, then. Well, there's nothing I can do then.... Can I give you some advice before I go?

(No, not really) Yeah?

It wouldn't kill you to make a call every once in awhile and show your appreciation. You could show some gratitude and make a man feel like he's appreciated. I mean, I'm not suggesting you hop into bed with someone on the first date or anything, but seriously, if you are trying to make something happen in your life you need to step it up. Cause let me tell you, your competition out here is FIERCE. It is so incredibly fierce you have NO idea! I mean, you're nice and all but you need to step things up if you ever expect anything to happen for you.


Alrighty then. Where are all the decent men?

Dossier

So, the blasted thing is completely done and I was ready to drop it in the mail when I read in the manual that it has to be faxed to my SW first for review...and that I have to give her 3 days to review it before sending it off! Darn it! It's always something! (Ok, I can only blame myself for this hold up). Well, it's only Monday. That means I can still get it out this week! Who thinks I will actually get it out by Friday??

Crazy Busy Weekend

What a crazy, full weekend! It was a long and stressful and rainy week at work with end of the year assessments, indoor recess, preparing and practicing for our end of the year program and a conference with a parent at 3:30 on Friday afternoon! I couldn't get out of there fast enough and drove right to Adega to meet a friend for dinner. Adega is a cool, little wine cellar where you can also grab a delightful Mediterranean flat bread or a lovely seared ahi tuna salad and eggplant fries. They have a really good wine selection and the food is delish! I didn't realize this at the time but not only can you order a glass of wine off the menu but you can choose your own bottle from their selection and they will uncork it for you and serve it without an additional charge. I think it's going to be my new spot.

Saturday morning I did Race for the Cure. I'm sorry I didn't get any takers on Team Ethiopia but I did get to do the race with two good friends and my little Goddaughter. After a very rainy week, I was worrying about the weather on race day but Mother Nature was very cooperative. No rain, low humidity and 72 degrees. Couldn't ask for anything more!

The energy and emotions of the participants were running high and we got caught up in the excitement of it all! After some speeches, Leila Hathaway sang a song to start us off. It was a fun and leisurely, non- competitive walk (check out my time below! lol) We laughed and talked, screamed and cheered, met some nice people and even danced with a phenomenal all-female Brazilian drum corps. They were so incredibly amazing, they make me want to book a flight to Brazil. Seriously.



At the end of the race we proudly submitted our donations. I raised $200 in all--thanks to all who donated!! My reward for raising over $125 was an inspirational book of quotes, an insulated beach tote and a coupon for free coffee each month for a year! Sweet!























After the race I had a first date with G. We have been talking for a couple of weeks and on the phone and he seemed nice enough so I agreed to meet him for coffee. He's an officer in the Navy and kept saying he's "an officer and a gentleman". I warned him not to put himself so high on a pedestal that he couldn't live up to it (jaded? lol) but so far I would say he has been very nice and respectful. We had a nice lunch. One comment worth noting (and I'd love to hear what you think about this) was said when we were talking about my adoption. The first time I told him about it he said it was great, he loved the idea, loves kids. The next time it came up he said that when I had told him about it he was so happy for me and that it was the best news he had had all year. A few days later he brought it again. After telling me how excited he was about it again, he went on to say, "I was thinking about your adoption today at work and how soon it's going to happen and realized we better start thinking about day care." (we??) I'm not sure what to think of that comment. We hadn't met yet! He seems sweet and genuine but a bit much, no? Well, we had lunch and he's nice and not bad looking but it's hard to imagine forever with him. I know, I shouldn't be thinking that on a first date--but I do-- and I can't really picture it. I will go out with him again, though. Usually I need three dates to make a final assessment. lol

After lunch I went to meet my friend, Hattie, and three of her friends at a photo studio. Hattie had this amazing idea to have professional pictures done of the people in her life who are most supportive and add them to her vision board. One of her friends owns a photography studio so we went there after hours for the shoot. Hattie brought music and champagne and while taking pictures we talked about work and children and men and music and dating and other fun girl stuff. After the group shots, we each got individual pictures done! The owner is going to give us a CD of the pictures she took for free! Not only was it so much fun but I now have a relationship with a professional photographer who can do formal pics of my daughter! Here's a pic of me and Hattie in between wardrobe changes.

After the studio fun I had a first date with E. I know, two first dates in one day! E, for sure, is not the one. Suffice it to say he gives me the shady vibe. He is very nice and respectful, too, but something just doesn't add up and I trust my instincts. Sigh. 0 for 2.

On tap for today? Church? Maybe. Working out ? Maybe. Later I meet with the whole cast of the movie to do a full read through and then it's bills and packaging up my dossier to mail it off tomorrow!

Monday starts my last full week of work. Woo hoo! We get out on the 15th and I can not wait!