Down to the Wire

I don't get Almi's passport until Monday, two days before we travel. Can we say "down to the wire?" Come on, everyone say it with me: DOWN TO THE WIRE!

I couldn't apply for it until her readoption was completed and since that just happened on June 30th I couldn't apply through the mail because that takes 6-8 weeks. I needed to get it expedited but you can't do that until you are within 14 days of travel. And they assign your appointment time. So today was our appointment time, this morning at 11:30 and I had to bring Naomi. You know bringing her anywhere is a crap shoot in terms of her behavior but thankfully this morning she was pretty well-behaved.

Do you want to know what I brought with me to apply for the passport? Take a look at this list:

* her final adoption decree, certified
* a copy of her final adoption decree
* her Ethiopian passport
* her resident alien card
* her social security card
* a copy of her social security card
* copies of her original Ethiopian paperwork
* my passport
* my original birth certificate
* a copy of my original birth certificate, certified
* the DS-11 passport application filled out in black pen only (picture me tearing through my house this morning searching high and low for a black pen and how annoyed I was when I kept finding blue ones)
* 2 passport photos
* my travel itinerary
* my confirmation number
* my checkbook
* Almi

Yeah, all. of. that. But I did what they asked, of course, and look forward to being able to check securing Almi's US passport off the list!

Readoption Complete!

My beautiful Ethiopian babe is now an American citizen! My parents, aunt & uncle and sister came down for the occasion this morning. It was short and sweet (it's an optional formality) but the Judge was very nice and once again everyone marveled about how precocious and entertaining and energetic she is. She had a ball entertaining everyone by singing into the microphone and just being her wild, silly self. They laughed and laughed but said after their fifteen minutes with her they needed a nap! LOL

After court we went and enjoyed a lovely lunch outside at an Italian cafe. Over my ciabatta with proscuitto and mozzarella I marveled at how my Ethiopian daughter and her American mother are about to relocate to Asia. How incredibly international it all seemed.

Readoption Hearing

Today we took the the Metro downtown to DC Family Court for Almi's readoption status hearing. It's a formality to check on the status of her readoption. Her adoption was finalized in Ethiopia but in order to get her certificate of citzenship, US birth certificate and passport, she has to be readopted in the United States. Currently she has an Ethiopian passport, a green card and is here on an IR-4 Visa. To do the readoption, I had to hire an attorney, get fingerprinted from everywhere I have lived or worked in the past ten years and redo our medicals. Today's hearing was just to let the judge know where we were in the process. We are still waiting on fingerprints from two states but as soon as those are in we will be good to go.

I don't get why if the FBI prints indicate I am a law-abiding citizen that that doesn't suffice, though. And, hello?! I am a teacher so clearly I have been scrutinized up the ying yang. And wouldn't the FBI know if I was a criminal in a particular state? My federal prints say I am fine but I still have to wait for the individual states? Seems like they should know that. I'm all for making sure parents are good people (and frankly, they should fingerprint birth parents in the hospital before they can take their babies home) but it just seems like it should all be centralized somewhere and the FBI seems like the logical spot.

Anyway, Almi loves watching the trains as we drive to work in the mornings and she has asked me if we could go on a train so she was super, duper excited to ride on one this morning. She thought it was great, great fun! I wish I had gotten a picture of her on the train where she was happy. These shots were taken after we got off. She was so disappointed to get off and see the train go down the track. "Where da twain go, Mommy?"

I wore these cute summery Espadrilles with my outfit. Error in judgement. My feet were killing me when I got home! Why does fashion have to hurt? They may need to go in the Goodwill bag. But I digress..

We had thirty minutes to kill before heading inside so I let her run around in the grass to try and burn off some of her energy. She was chasing squirrels and playing with ants and running around like crazy and I was pouring down with sweat just sitting in the shade. It was so hot and humid!!! I know, I need to get used to it. I have two years of this type of weather ahead but hopefully when I am in it I will be sitting sipping icy drinks, beach side.

It was so hot, all I wanted to do was sit and relax and try to prepare myself mentally for meeting with the judge about our finalization process, not chase her away from the dead bird! I tried to settle her down by reading one of her favorite books. Ha! That only only lasted about 2 pages before was off and running again.

You can kind of see in these next photos how hyped up and full of energy she was. I should have known I was going to be in for it in the judge's chambers.

The hearing lasted for about twenty minutes, thank God, because trust me when I tell you she let her full energetic and bubbly personality known to everyone! They marveled at how I can teach Kindergarteners all day and then come home to her! LOL (Tell me about it!! That's why I'm getting a nanny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I could not get her to sit still. I threatened her (didn't work) and tried bribing her with ice cream (also didn't work). She was far too excited. Luckily, the judge was really nice and told me not to worry about her running around. After the hearing the judge told Almi she could come up and talk in her microphone. Almi loved that! She even sang her ABCs for everyone and impressed them with her intelligence. The judge said, "That's what happens when your mom is a Kindergarten teacher." :-D

As we exited the courtroom she took off running top speed and I had to have my attorney watch my purse and stroller while I took off running in my Espadrilles to find my two year old in the crowd. I found her, plopped her in the stroller and the minute we stepped out the door she burst into loud sobs telling me she was hungry! I guess she burned off every last breakfast calorie with all that excitement. Luckily, I had packed her lunch so she ate her sunflower nut butter on sprouted wheat bread sandwich and banana in her stroller before heading back to the Metro.

That wild behavior did not warrant ice cream for her so I dropped her off at daycare but trust and believe that after I dropped her off I then high tailed it to the Baskin-Robbins. She may not have earned ice cream but a double scoop was definitely in order for me!!

Now it's time for a nap!! Phew!

P.S. The adoption finalization is coming up very soon and my family is coming down to celebrate. Very soon my beautiful Ethiopian babe will officially be a US citizen!

My Trip - Part 2

I woke up early on the 27th of February. This was the day-- the day I was to meet my daughter for the first time. I had arranged this meeting because the way my agency had it set up, I was to fly in on Sunday and meet her on Monday--and they would leave her with me at that time. To me that seemed so abrupt and too traumatizing, particularly since she had never seen me before. I hadn't created an album for her to mail before court because I was too superstitious. What if I didn't pass? What would they tell her then? Seemed to me that waiting until after I was officially her mother made more sense. So I created an album after court but then the blizzard hit so I couldn't get it mailed out. All this meant that she had never seen me before. I asked them if I could meet her prior to the hand off and present the album to her then and that way at least she would have a few days to look at my photo and the nannies could talk to her about me so it wouldn't be all strange and brand new on March 1st. They agreed so off we went.

The orphanage was located outside the main part of the city in a single family home. A very plain, very basic house -but clean. There were only about 10 children there that day. I don't know if there are usually more but I believe they are only moved to this facility after they have been matched with a family, so it's more of a holding place or a care center. We drove through a part of town that seems to be completely under construction. Nearly every building was in some stage of being built. If it's like Senegal, there are no housing mortgages so people are forced to pay for building their homes as money becomes available so it can take years. Seeing half finished houses all over the city was common there and is in Ethiopia as well. We parked out front. I was trying to take it all in but the intensity of the day left me wondering some things... I left that day asking my cousin what color it was. 'Was it really pink?' Yes, indeed it was.I already wrote about our first meeting here so I won't go into any more detail in this post but I will say I left feeling much more excited about becoming a mom than I had in a long time. For months people had been asking me if I was excited about adopting and I had been telling them I was about 1/10 excited and 9/10 freaked out and stressed. That was so true. For me it was hard to get excited when I knew I wasn't getting paid leave, her room wasn't ready, I was already exhausted, I don't have family around, I feel like I need a higher paying job, etc, etc, etc. I wished I could have been that type of mom-to-be who had the nursery ready for months with all the clothes hanging neatly in the closet by size and all the details in order, but that was not my reality. However, with all the paperwork, money spent, traveling and finally meeting her (and believing she was healthy) behind me, I was able to focus on her and it really helped my excitement level to increase. All these years, all this waiting, all the unknowns.. all of that seemed a distant memory when I left the orphanage that day. I could finally, FINALLY focus on her--on us-- on becoming a mom. Someone asked me later that day when I was going to take custody of her and I informed her it wouldn't be for another three days. She was horrified but I was fine with it. I was finally feeling more excitement than stress but still needed a few more days to get fully prepared mentally for this life change.

When we left the orphanage we asked our driver to take us to Entoto Mountain. I didn't get a chance to see it when I was in Addis before and was glad we could this time since it wasn't too far away. It was a long, long drive up to the top with a beautiful view of the city. At the top of the mountain is Entoto Maryam Church where Emperor Menelik was crowned in 1882, and a memorial museum which housed clothing and other religious relics of the period.We did a guided tour of the museum but unfortunately the church was closed. Two monks outside the church.This was a scene we saw over and over again: women hunched over with enormous bundles of sticks on their backs. The hike up and down that mountain must be 5 miles and to think that that's their livelihood (chopping down wood, walking miles down to sell it and then walking back--day in day out) well, it was very depressing. Such difficult, exhausting, back-breaking work. Along the way you could also see their homes--wooden huts with mud floors, no electricity or running water of course, sparsely furnished.. no belongings, just family. The poverty and life's inequities were just so in-your-face...it was very difficult. One highlight, we did encounter some children on the drive down and I was able to give them all granola bars and toys from the donations. They were ecstatic! That helped to off set all the heaviness of the day.

The next day, after being awaken far too early by my cousin who was having major sleep difficulties but I love him and was thrilled he was with me so I didn't complain too loudly or too often, ok maybe I did a few times but he loves me and knows I complain a lot... um, oh yeah, the next day we had breakfast (eggs and crepes for the third time) and planned to do a little more sightseeing since our child-free time was dwindling. After breakfast I ran upstairs to get one of my 8G memory cards I purchased for the trip and discovered them missing. I was so upset. I was having major camera/media issues! You see, I had already decided to save money and not buy a video camera and then I foolishly left my terrific Nikon at home (dumb, dumb, dumb). In addition I somehow only packed my bum camera. If you recall from this post it fell and was being very temperamental. I have another Cybershot but I left it at home, too. This is my self -portrait after I discovered I only had the bum camera to work with on the trip. For some reason I felt I needed to record the moment of complete anger and devastation. Ha! Turns out I found the memory cards when I got home but who knows where the receipt is? I would like to return one and get my money back. One day I will get organized..but I digress.

Ok, so after we purchased a very overpriced memory card we hired the driver to take us out to Debre Zeyit, about 45 minutes from Addis. I wanted to see some greenery and there area crater-lakes there. It was a pleasant drive on a nice, paved road although most of the week was rainy and chilly and this day was no exception. It was nice to see the lake with its surrounding campgrounds. They offer canoe rides but we didn't have the interest (too chilly!) or the time and besides our driver was being paid by the hour. Plus we saw this sign: We only stayed about 20 minutes. On the way home we drove through the town of Dukem. This was cool to me since there is a Dukem restaurant on U St. that I have been to and now I can say I have been to the real Dukem! Here are some pictures from the ride home: That night we had dinner in a little cafe in a shopping mall. A modern mall made of steel and glass with assorted shops and full well-dressed people. Addis is so full of contrasts! The food was terrible but you don't send stuff back in Ethiopia. Well, you can send it back but you still have to pay for it so I ate it. My stomach hurt when I got home so I popped a Cipro and crashed. I knew the big day was tomorrow -- "Gotcha Day" as they like to say in the adoption community. (I don't like that term. I was going to call it "Family Day" but if I have another child will there then be two Family Days? Maybe. Or maybe it will just be Naomi Winter Almaz Day but that's kind of long). I was finally ready for the meeting of my daughter but I was still a bundle of nerves. What if she cried hysterically? What if I didn't feel an instant connection? I hadn't felt an instant connection on our earlier meeting so I was wondering if I would this time or if not how long that would take. Had I done the wrong thing and completed this adoption? Would I love her? Would she love me? Do bio parents think these things? Was I really ready? A million thoughts were swirling through my head. I was tired. The stress was overwhelming. I had a fitful night of sleep.

Our First Meeting

I have so many thoughts and emotions surrounding my trip to Addis this time around--from adoption and toddler adoption specifically-- to becoming a mother-- to the sights and sounds of Ethiopia... I can't possibly put it all into one post. I am back home now and still processing, still trying to wrap my head around all I experienced and I want to take time to write it all down but for now I will just post some photos of our time together. Me and Naomi Almaz. (By the way, I am calling her both names now so she can get used to Naomi though I want people to continue to call her Almaz as well).

When I first walked into the care center, I wasn't sure when I was going to meet her as I had two large bags of clothing donations to give them. We walked in, my cousin and I, and right at that moment a group of children came down the steps with a nanny holding a child carrying a disposable camera in her arms. I wasn't expecting to meet her so quickly and it took me a good few seconds to realize it was Almaz they were carrying and that she was holding the camera I had mailed in the care package. Believe it or not, I even had to ask the nanny to be sure it was her! I was taken completely off guard. Luckily I had prepped my cousin on his duties: have the video ready to record our first moments but be sure to switch off with still photos from time to time so I have both. He, of course, followed my instructions exactly. :-D As I was asking the nanny if it was she and thinking about how cute her meeting-mommy outfit was, she handed Almaz to me. She cried for about 30 seconds and reached for the nannies, but they said something to her and she stopped. We stood there in the hallway for about 15 minutes, me examining her trying to take it all in. The feeling is very strange. I could not believe this was my child I was holding!After awhile we went upstairs to the main den area to hang out and get to know each other. She sat on my lap for about 20 minutes. I showed her the photo album and a stuffed elephant I had brought her. She loved the album but preferred the crinkly tissue packet to the stuffed animal! She kept using the album as a phone. It was so cute. Her nanny kissed my photo and repeated "mommy" to her and had her do the same. It was so cute. I love that she taught her how to kiss things cause she does this at home. Adorable. As we were sitting there I got surrounded by several other children. They were very interested in the album and identified her baby photo in it.
My cousin wanted to hold her and interact with her as well. She went to him willingly. (Over the course of the week I found out that she goes to pretty much anyone willingly. It made me very worried about attachment but now that she has been with me for over a week, I am starting to notice a bit more attachment happening--for both of us--but more on that later).She eventually fell asleep in his arms. Meanwhile, I got an opportunity to talk to the nurse about what she eats and how she sleeps. I was told she likes bananas, injera and wot, pasta, cookies, juice and tea with sugar. I asked if she like any other fruits or vegetables and they told me no! I've been working on introducing new foods and creating a healthy diet for her. I was also told she takes a 2 hour nap from 2-4 and goes to bed at 7 in a regular bed (not a crib) and stays in bed asleep all night. So far, having been home 3 days now, I find she does need at least 2 hours to nap--often more-- and does go to sleep around 7 and stays asleep til about 6 (give or take an hour on either side). We've been sharing a bed since she's been home but I plan to move her into a crib in my room in the next few days. Have you ever slept with a toddler? Well, imagine constant motion and body parts slung over your face as you sleep. She also cries in her sleep about 5x a night for a few seconds. I don't know if she's dreaming about something or experiencing night terrors. I need to research those and learn more since I really don't know what they are but I do know they are common with adopted children.

Before I left, with the nurse translating for me, I took the opportunity to thank her nanny for taking such good care of her. I told her she looked happy and healthy and I had them both to thank. We embraced and I got teary-eyed. It was the one time I got emotional that day. I think I was in shock most of the week that I was a mom and unable to really take it all in. It wasn't until the plane ride home that I really got caught up in it all and had a meltdown.. but more on that later.We left the toys and the album with Almaz and the nanny. I wanted to meet her first and have her meet me so it wouldn't be such a shock when she was left with me a few days later. I also felt it was important to leave an album with my photos for her for them to talk to her about me over the next few days to prepare her for what was to come. I'm glad I had that time to visit. We left shortly after that and Almaz and I became a forever family a few days later on March 1, 2010.

We're a Family

The day we first met at the IAG care center.
February 26, 2010
Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Photo Album

I finally got the photo album done. I included photos of myself with different hair styles as well as one with sunglasses so I won't look altogether unfamiliar when she sees me a different way. I also included photos of the front of the house and the kitchen (since I don't have the nursery together! Ack!) My plan is to take this when I first see her so she will have it to look at (and the nannies can talk to her about me) until I take full custody of her. Hopefully it will help somewhat with the transition.

Tick Tock

I invited some friends to join me for one last single-woman-without-children dinner and to celebrate my life changing event. We broke bread injera together at Almaz Restaurant. It was a nice gathering. Everyone is so excited about my Almaz!

(me with the owner, Mimi)

I have done so much in the last few days. I have worked practically non-stop. I should be done. I feel accomplished. Thing is, there are still many VERY IMPORTANT items left and I am almost out of time!!!! ARRRRRGGGGHH!!!!!!

* install carseat
* firm up ride to and from the airport
* organize paperwork
* organize donations
* pack
* set up the nursery
* clean (i.e. move all things from her reach)
* babyproof (outlets, cabinets, baby gates, window guards, etc.)
* make her doctor's appt.
* color my hair (sounds unimportant until the greys come in and then it's critical!! lol)

Wow. Clearly, it's not getting all done. I am going to just focus on the top five and if the rest get done before travel, great. I totally advise all of you in the paperchase and the waiting phase to do some of these things now!! It seems so far away, like you have all the time in the world but you really do. not. Ok, you are all probably very organized and efficient and good at delegating. I am the only dufus who is trying to do everything herself and then waits til the last possible minute to get it all done. That works when you are trying to write a paper in college but it does not work when you are trying to adopt a child!!!! (Note to self for the next time).

OK. Well, I am going to back to my to do list now. Have a good evening.

Getting Closer...

Let's revisit my TO DO list, shall we?

Travel
book tickets - check
decide on guest house - check
go to bank
get shots - got some, want more
fill travel partner in on what to expect - check
organize paperwork
organize donations

House
clean
cook meals to freeze - not doing
buy prepared toddler-friendly foods
organize the nursery
baby-proof the house

Job
sign up for FMLA - check
secure a substitute - check
write sub plans - check
tie up loose ends

baby
make pediatrician appt.
make dentist appt. - not doing
follow up on daycare - check
purchase needed items

other
get car serviced- made appt.
finish books on attachment parenting
doctor appts. for me - made appt.
color my hair

Still a lot to do from the list and still quite a few very important things that are not on that list that must get done like pay bills, send in preliminary paperwork for insurance, call for an estimate for a car I hit yesterday (just took off their mirror, thankfully, but the estimate they gave me was over $200--so do not need this hassle!) figure out how I'm getting to and from the airport, reinstall carseat, buy travel insurance, get volume fixed on computer, etc. One other thing that I must do is the photo album. Unfortunately I didn't send a photo album with the traveling parent who took her gift bag. I hadn't passed court yet and I guess I was being superstitious. Well, I was ok with that because I knew another family was traveling and I could send one with them. Well with the blizzard I wasn't able to get anything in the mail so now my little sweetie has never seen any pictures of me! I am going to create an album to take with me and get it to her when I arrive. Since I arrive a few days before I take custody of her at least if I don't meet her beforehand the nannies can talk to her about me so I won't be a complete stranger. It's better than nothing.

On a happier note, people at work are SO excited! I got so many hugs and emails and kind words this week. They are insisting on throwing me a shower when I get back or at least gathering items I would need while I am away and having them ready to present to me when I return. I am quite overwhelmed at the outpouring of support. It has really made this stressful time so much easier. Well, off to tackle some items! I'll leave you with a picture of my big girl standing. I can't wait to meet her!

Upon further examination of this photo, I realize that she is wearing the clothes I sent to her!! I send items that I thought she would outgrow by summer here and they look like they are kind of big on her! I am pretty sure they were 12 months or smaller. Gosh, I wish I had written it down to be sure, but I know I loved that Hannah Anderson dress and wanted her to wear it at least once. This at least helps me figure out what size to pack. Her gift bag arriving also means that the camera I put inside probably has photos of her on it. I can't wait to get them developed! Gosh, she looks so cute! I can't believe she is my daughter!