Can it All be Done?

Busy, busy day planned! I have the day off to work on mid-term progress reports but I am done so I will focus on my personal to do list.

1. Laundry. DONE

2. Clean the bathroom. STARTED - WILL FINISH THIS WEEKEND

3. Return this rice to Trader Joe's and buy some groceries. DONE
4. Folding. WILL DO THIS WEEKEND

5. Buy some new shoes for my growing girl. DONE
I showed them to her tonight and she immediately wanted to try them on. When she put it on she said, "Oh, dat's better." Awwww, sweet baby! Were the old shoes squishing your feet? Momma's sowee. :(
6. Go pick up my clearance downtown (needed for readoption). DONE
7. Cook the defrosted fish. DONE

It was amazing!! I dipped it in egg and dredged it in coconut flour& spices and pan fried it in coconut oil. I served it up with some carrots and roasted brussel sprouts. She screamed and cried when I insisted that she eat her three bites of brussel sprouts before getting more fish. The rule here is three bites: one to taste, one to be sure and one to be polite to the cook. She cried and cried and then she tried it... and liked it.. and then asked for seconds!! Silly girl.
7. Go through these boxes. DONE

8. Fill out paperwork and send some emails regarding my new position. SENT ONE
9. Drop things off at the thrift store. PUT STUFF IN TRUNK
10. Pick up my check from the consignment shop. DONE
11. Order some blanched almond flour. DONE
12. Make or buy some thank you cards. THIS WEEKEND
13. Photograph my furniture. THIS WEEKEND 14. Post the furniture on Craigslist. THIS WEEKEND 15. And buy some hair accessories for her hair which isn't very long yet but is starting to come in really, really thick! DONE

I will get some at a dollar store somewhere so I can load up.

Have a productive day!

Can I just say how much easier it is to get things done without a toddler in tow? Love my girl but she makes shopping soooo much more difficult. I felt free today. It was fun! :) Here are some pics of our amazing dinner! So good!! The carrots I started in a pan with coconut oil and butter but I transferred them to the oven cause I needed the pan for the fish. The brussel sprouts I shook in a bag with olive oil, sea salt and cracked black pepper and then roasted at 400 degrees for 30-45 minutes. Delicious! Will be repeating this meal in the near future.


I put the leftovers in her lunch. She better eat it!! :-)

Now off to bed.
Good night.

A Few Pics From the Day

Making me laugh as we got dressed this morning.

Hanging out halfway down the steps, looking so neat and tidy for school.
Running down the street with her breakfast this morning.
Her new funny smile.

Looking at a book on the ride home.


Trying to take her shoe off in the car.

Being told no and giving me that coy 'I'm going to do it anyway!' look.
Oh, she was just playing with me! Little stinker!

Saying "hi" to one of the neighborhood dogs.
Running around outside before going in for dinner.

Posing with mama.

And eating dinner.

Tights torn and white shirt stained but happy, well-fed and off to bed.

And now for her latest trick. I'm in trouble now!

Time to Write a Letter to Naomi's Teachers..Sigh

I have really had it up to *here* with the daycare. Today for lunch I packed her a hard boiled egg, some baked chicken, carrot sticks and dressing, almond milk and a homemade muffin and blueberries. Her breakfast was some rice pudding concoction that I made up with almond milk, honey, cinnamon and raisins and her snack was some apple slices. A lot of food. Yummy food. Food full of nutrition and vitamins and protein.

She brought back all the chicken, all the egg and some of the carrots. And then she told me her teachers gave her bread. So today, other than a few carrot sticks, all she ate was rice pudding, fruit and bread. And then she refused her dinner because they are teaching her if you cry and refuse to eat, you will eventually get waht you want!

I AM SO ANNOYED!!!

I have already spoken to them about this. When she first came home and had terrible diarrhea, I had her off dairy only to discover that they didn't stop her when she was drinking kids' unfinished milk cartons from out of the trash. Then I asked them to not let her eat so much junk at the Valentine's Day party and asked them to add the banana to her plate and they didn't but instead allowed her to eat herself sick. Oh, and let's not forget the guilt trips they give me when there are birthday parties. They act as if I am this cruel woman taking away her childhood right to eat junk food. Now, in an effort to see if I can help clear up her eczema without steroids, I have her on a gluten-free diet. Which means no bread! In addition, I had decided to forgoe grains for Lent (though was allowing her rice) so they have violated that as well.

I am at my wit's end. I just blogged about this two days ago so I won't rehash it all but in addition to the nutritional deficiencies she may have due to her early life circumstances and the fact that they are feeding her when she really isn't hungry (or wouldn't be if she at the food I provided) they are teaching very bad habits.

She has learned from them that she can cry and refuse foods and in the end get what she wants.
And she is developing a taste for high fructose corn syrup, processed sugar goodies and greasy chips and dye-filled candy--none of which I feed her anymore. I figure they are a once in a while treat--her birthday, holidays, etc. And trust and believe, there are plenty of goodies to be had in my household. We eat a ton of fruit. We eat dark chocolate. We eat baked goods made with coconut oil, almond flour and maple syrup and they taste great!! We eat ice cream and drink hot cocoa. The child is not deprived because unfortunately her mother has a massive sweet tooth. But it is allowed if the healthy foods are also consumed and it's much healthier versions.

I am trying very hard to steer clear from the SAD (standard American diet). This is what is causing all the illness and disease in our country. Processed crap, too much sugar, too many grains, chemicals, etc. So slipping her extra empty calories isn't doing her any favors. Not to mention that the number of fat cells in your life time is set in your childhood and Naomi is already on the pudgy side. They think they are being nice but really they are possibly setting her up for a lifetime of obesity and poor eating habits-- and definitely making mealtimes with me more of a battle.

Why do they make me feel like the mean mommy when what I am doing is one of the most loving things I can do for my child?!

OK, done ranting. Now off to craft a letter to her teachers because I don't appreciate being disrespected. I am going to tell them how much I appreciate all they do for my daughter but I am going to make it clear that as her mother I am to make all the decisions about what she eats. Period. End of story.

Anything you would add if you were dealing with this?

Pretty Pink Toes

I thought it would be fun to paint our toenails yesterday since we were stuck in the house with my cold. Naomi was fascinated with the whole process, calling it "paint." She loved them. She told me they were "pwitty" and I think her little toes look totally adorable!









Thanks, Mommy!



(and had to post this cute pic of her checking them out again before her nap)

Food and Menus

I try very, very hard to prepare my daughter's meals from scratch using as many real food ingredients that I can. I research recipes, read food labels and try my best to feed her as few processed foods as possible. I also try hard to steer clear of high fructose corn syrup, food coloring, chemicals, trans fats, etc. I am proud of this fact and as her mother I make these decisions with careful thought and consideration. I do not know the details of her nutritional past but I feel like she (or any child for that matter) should be fed nourishing meals as much as possible to aid in growth and brain development. The occasional store-bought cupcake, slice of pizza, juice box won't completely undo my hard work and is totally allowed (since I can't say no to all junk forever!) but for the most part it's not a part of her daily diet. I feel the need to make up for lost--or shall I say unknown--time. She was supposedly breast fed as an infant, which is great, but the list of foods they say she enjoyed in the orphanage only included bananas, cookies, juice, injera & wot and tea with sugar. Some families put more of an emphasis on exercise, cultural exposure, teaching academics, playing, socializing, spirituality or other things which are also important. For me, nutrition is very important to do now though while she's still under age 3 and growing so much and it's something that I can do fairly easily.
tasting mango for the first time March 26, 2011 (it was a big hit!)

To accomplish this, I pack her breakfast and lunch every day. This takes work and sometimes I have to set my alarm extra early if I haven't prepared it the night before. A daily meal plan is available at her daycare (both breakfast and lunch) so it would be so much easier to just sleep in and write a check but it's the same thing served by my school district so I know exactly what it is. It's highly processed foods with white sugar and white flour and rarely any enticing fruits or veggies. The breakfasts are processed dry cereals, sweet rolls laden with sugar, white flour bagels filled with cream cheese and egg wraps made with white flour torillas. The breakfasts also include fruit and bottled cow's milk. The fruit is rarely whole (usually individual serving cups of fruit in heavy syrup) but if it is, it's often not ripe. The lunches are similar. Most often they serve chicken nuggets or pizza. More fruit cups and milk. I feel much better sending her to school with yogurt, fresh fruit, nut butter sandwiches on homemade almond flour tortillas, sliced veggies with dips, hard boiled eggs, slices of baked chicken, etc.

Foods that will keep her satiated and focused in school and full of nutrition. I know exactly what she eats for breakfast and therefore how much she needs packed in her lunch. When I prepare her sandwich with almond butter on an almond flour tortilla, I know how incredibly filling it is on its own so the side of vegetables, fruit and almond milk and an occasional treat I know it's more than enough. She is two and doesn't need an adult-sized meal but this is on the larger size compared to what her classmates eat. So it really annoys me when her teachers decide that she is still hungry and supplement it with more food! Of course I don't want my child to be hungry but I know she can't possibly be with all that plus what I send in for her breakfast. Yes, she eats fast and finishes way before her classmates who are typical toddlers who pick at their meals. But this doesn't mean feed her more!

I need to suggest to them ways to occupy her and give her the emotional support she may be craving, like perhaps through a snuggle or special one on one time with the teacher after meal time. Because by the time she finishes her lunch, I am sure she's not hungry anymore. I feel so controlling, but when they tell me "she didn't want to eat her carrots but was still hungry so we gave her some fruit" I want to scream! First of all, if she is still hungry then have her eat the rest of what I put into her lunch! The fruit they give her is that heavy-syrup laden stuff from the cafeteria. I have seen her take a few bites of the fruit and happily slurp down the sugar water. I know they're just trying to be helpful but it annoys me.

I'm OK with letting her eat as much as she feels she needs, as long as it's not sugary or starchy. I don't want her addicted to sugar and carbs like me!! And food is a big thing with her. I pay attention to the fact that she has done the following:

She ate (or tired to eat) the button off one of her sweaters once
She ate one of my hairs of of her shirt
She will occasionally take food out of the trash can or eat food off the floor
She must carry her breakfast with her in the car so it's in her eyesight or she cries
She crunches on crayons
She must carry her lunchbox and hold it in the car on the way home

Those are just a few that come to mind immediately and may be typical toddler behaviors --or they may be somehow connected to her institutionalized past. I just take note and continue to provide healthy choices and try to create a healthy attitude about food as much as possible. Moving for my new job will make it easier. We will eat healthy foods and be outside in warm weather year round. I can't wait!

On to this week's meals that I have planned:

1. Coconut Flour Pizza
2. Spaghetti Squash chili
3. Raw Pad Thai or baked chicken and spinach
4. leftovers or change out one of those dishes for coconut flour pan fried fish
5. Almi to her teacher's house (rescheduled for the 4th time!!) and I will eat out

Stats:
Weight - 149
Vitamins - 1x
Work outs - none
Joint Pain - minimal
Stress level - on the lower side

Yeah, I Said No Baking but...

it was necessary. As were the wheat cracker samples in the grocery store.

I had to work late. I had much to catch up on so I wasn't able to pick Naomi up until 6:00. She was happy to see me but, like usual, her uber-happy personality slips away within a few minutes of my arrival. "She's happy all day long!," one of the new teachers shared with me as we walked to the car but I had to shake my head in aggravation as she was already in tears. I don't know what set her off. Did she want to go to the playground instead of the car? Did she want to continue to follow her friend down the sidewalk? Did she think they were going to play together outside or that evening? Was she annoyed that I reminded her not to run into the street and then took her hand in the parking lot? Was she hungry? Was she tired?

And the screams continued into the night. I take the blame for running errands with her already in a "mood" but she is like that so often that if I didn't risk it from time to time I would get nothing done! So we went to the bank and to the grocery store. I tried to head off another bout of tears by offering her my leftover cheese stick from lunch in case it was hunger-related. But she cried when she asked for more and I told her there wasn't anymore. She cried when she asked to stop at the playground when I told her it would have to wait til Saturday. She cried when we parked at Trader Joe's. She cried when we started into the store. She cried when I wouldn't buy the pack of the more expensive premolded hamburger meat. She cried several more times when I wouldn't place the items she requested into the cart. Finally, I had to cut the shopping trip short. She was getting really loud, disturbing other shoppers--not to mention embarrassing me!

I tried ignoring her outbursts. The first 5 or so were short the last 2 were long and loud. How does one deal with this? I had more items I needed to purchase but to cart around a screaming child in the store is not my idea of a good time. And it was late so I figured she was hungry and tired and really should make it quick.

But the thing is, even if you are hungry and even if you are two, you know that this is not appropriate. Don'tcha think? Cause not all toddlers do this! Yes, a lot do. I know that--but I don't want my child to! I think back to when I volunteered in Ethiopia and watched with utter astonishment how perfectly well-behaved those children were. They rarely cried or whined and never acted out. They sat still on the potty every morning for upwards of 30 minutes without a single complaint. They sat lined up against the wall at a party waiting for their cookie and juice and sat and ate their treats quietly and didn't ask for more. They sat quietly while their hair was twisted and braided and beaded for long periods of time. They waited patiently at meal time while their injera was covered with wot. They were angels. Always.

American kids? Not so much. Or should I say, kids parented by Americans. My daughter can be defiant and whiny. She yells and screams. She blatantly disobeys and screams no in my face. She stomps her foot. She's also sweet and affectionate and cuddly and funny and thoughtful and empathetic. In fact, she is all of those things every day. But the days where she is also like she was today have me filling up my wine glass and frantically searching Amazon for parenting books. 1-2-3 Magic; The Pocket Parent; Unconditional Parenting... they are all on my wish list cause I want to be better at this! I want to let her behavior roll of my back with the confidence that she is 'just being two'. I want to not feel so frustrated and inadequate. I want to enjoy parenting more.

Ouch. That totally broke my heart to type because I love my daughter so much! But she can be so difficult sometimes! I know that her energy and flair and sense of humor and exuberance and intensity and charisma are great characteristics. I know that she could channel this and become an amazing athlete, scholar or performer. These characteristics are great to have in life not to mention they make her immensely popular with other kids and make her so much fun to be around. But they can be so hard to manage like when I just want to pick up some bloomin' groceries for dinner!

So I cut the shopping trip short, removed my wailing child from the store cart and brought her home. I was too worn down to discipline and instead just tried to ignore the screaming food requests as I sipped on my wine. She eventually calmed down and went to bed without a fuss. And then I went back downstairs and baked. Do you blame me? So excuse me as I go get seconds of my moist pumpkin deliciousness and look forward to tomorrow being a brand new day.

Good night.

*** Edited ***

Good morning. It's a new day! :-D Last night I forgot to mention some things that I was grateful that I was grateful for which kept me from getting too upset despite the rough evening (other than the yummy dessert):

1. Thankfully, that type of evening is atypical!! She can be cranky at meal time but it usually only lasts a couple of minutes and she's usually a champ when we run errands.

2. Whatever was upsetting her didn't affect her sleep. She went right to bed and is still sleeping as I type this quick update.

3. My attorney sent me the petition to adopt that were filing with the court system which I signed, had notarized and returned. I am so grateful we are able to move forward even though I haven't yet located the originals of her paperwork.

4. I found my phone.

5. I hired a nanny! She will start in August!! And I hear she's a great cook as well!

Oh, and it's Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Have a good one!

Wrong! All Wrong!!

A few weeks back I had a defining moment and let me tell you, once I internalized and believed that the Law of Attraction actually works and once I set my intention and made it clear to the Universe what I wanted, it arrived. I set my intention on a job that would bring me more money, more time, balance and adventure and it materialized right before my eyes. It was unbelievable. I envisioned it, prayed for it, set my intention on it, put it out in the Universe, gave thanks in advance for the opportunity and it arrived. In fact, several opportunities became available to me--right to my inbox-- from all sorts of places that I was considering. It was amazing. Almost scary, really.

Yet, here I am not not utilizing that same strategy with my health. No, instead I have been complaining about joint pain and berating myself for not working out or losing weight. I've been talking about exhaustion and worrying about test results. I've been blogging about stress for goodness sakes! Wrong! All wrong!!!

I'll let you in on a little secret. Last fall my doctor diagnosed me with Rheumatoid Arthritis. First I cried. Then I did hours and hours of research. And I knew I didn't have it, despite what she said. I refused the drugs and I believed in my health. A couple of weeks ago I was in the doctor's office and she was reviewing my recent labs. As much as she hated to say it, she admitted that she may have been wrong about my RA diagnosis. She said she was baffled because my labs didn't indicate the progression she was expecting to see. I was glad, but truly, not really surprised.

That should be the end of the story and cause of great celebration but the fact of the matter is I still have inflammation, joint pain, anemia and one lingering lab result that is causing her great concern. She ran more tests and said that if they came out negative that she would have to move on to the big guns, the scarier diagnosis. I find out the results next week. Am I concerned? Yes, I was until I realized that my mind and attitude play a huge part in all of this. Stress, worry, illness, fatigue, sadness.. None of that is helping! ACK! No more!!

I will be giving no more energy or thoughts to illness. In fact, I am no longer going to speak or type or think negative things as much as I am able. Instead, I am setting my intention on excellent health! And I am thanking God for my excellent health. This has worked for many people before me. If cells regenerate and placebos cure illnesses and miracles happen every day, how can one refute that it may be due in part (or in whole) to positive thinking?



It is Spring. A time of renewal and rebirth. So, from this moment forward I am focusing on and visualizing health and wellness! A sound mind. A strong body. Energy. Clarity. And I am thanking God in advance. I am giving thanks for all of that as well as for peace, joy, abundance and love.

Focus on the positive. Be grateful. Visualize. As I get ready to start a new workweek, let me state three things I am grateful for:

* my agency had copies of all of Almi's Ethiopian paperwork
* two friends came over this weekend to help me get some things done
* I had insurance on my Blackberry

Have a wonderful week!

Coconut Oil and the Weekly Menu

I am in love with coconut! I didn't used to be (except for Almond Joys) but now it's on. I eat food fried in coconut oil, I add it to our smoothies, I bake with it and I use it as moisturizer. I have also read it can aid in weight loss. And it's good for you!! And it's sooo yummy!!! It's my new love.

Over at Wellness Mama, you can read about all the health benefits of coconut oil and sign up for a free coconut oil giveaway!! If you haven't tried it yet, I highly suggest that you do. It could change your life!

And now for the weekly menu.

I ate a TON of sugar this week. Like, seriously out of control. And I had the worst joint pain ever! What is going on with me? Ugh. I'm thinking there is a connection to sugar and joint pain now. Or maybe it's from stress? I don't know but I think after I get a handle on no grains I really need to move on to sugar-free. On a positive note, though, I think Almi's eczema is going away. It seems less prominent since being grain-free so perhaps she is gluten-intolerant? I'm going to continue to keep her off of them and see if it clears up altogether.

Menu
1. coconut fried fish (in coconut oil) and butternut squash fries
2. veggie, turkey or portobello mushroom burgers and mashed cauliflower
3. chicken in crock with leftover veggies
4. salad with leftovers meats on top
5. Almi to her teacher's house (rescheduled again)

And no baking any desserts this week. We will only have fruit or dark chocolate.

Stats:
weight: 147.8
workouts: none :(
vitamins: 3 days
joint pain: really, really bad
stress level: high

Hanging in There

Thanks for your kind comments. And your prayers. I have been praying, too. No one sent me any wine so I had to go out and buy my own provisions. I think I'm set for the rest of the weekend. ;-)



I've also been drinking many cups of soothing tea out of my favorite mug.



But, really, laughter is the best medicine, don't ya think?



And, of course, along with Chris Rock I have my own in-house comedienne. Her new thing is to tell me what her food looks like. She pronounced this piece of clementine to look like an elephant and it truly did--trunk and all! Unfortunately, she bit off the trunk before I could grab my camera but the picture makes me laugh so it's all good.



Hope you are enjoying your weekend!

Obstacles with a Capital OBSTACLES!!!

As you know, we are preparing for a major life change. All those details are coming in a future post. Right now I just have to vent and pray and possibly drink loads of alcohol to deal with the stress of it all.

And then, as if the stress of the details surrounding the life change weren't enough, add to that these other major obstacles:

* my accountant had a stroke so I have to find someone else to do my taxes
* I need to do her readoption but I misplaced her birth certificate and ET paperwork
* I have been called for jury selection (and possibly jury duty)
* my doctor is very concerned about some test results and wants to run further tests
* someone stole my telephone

I am barely hanging on over here. Please send jugs of red wine and a prayer to the heavens.

Quotes and Tidbits and Such

She will tell me if her her food is too hot, bath water too cold, etc. But other than hot or cold she doesn't have the vocabulary to describe food in terms of sweet, crunchy, slimy etc. But she can say, "juicy". She will use this quite a bit for food or for when she's drinking some juice.

She calls an owl an "ah-boo." Love it.

Here she is enjoying her play kitchen she got from the Grandparents for Christmas.



After watching the Elmo video about the beach over and over she now talks about wanting to go to the beach. When we drive on a bridge over any body of water she will yell excitedly, "Beach!!" and then ask if we can go, "Mommy, beach?"

She has learned to push things against the wall to turn on lights, how to climb up on the toilet to reach things off the sink and how to open the refrigerator. Uh oh.



When it's time for her bath she inevitably asks, "Mommy, tub?" She loves when we take baths together.

One day she looked at me and just said point blank, "I happy too much." (awwwwwwwww)

She was playing with blocks and held up the one with a capital A and said, "A fo' Amen." (Amen is the name of one of her classmates). Then she twisted it to the side and saw a 5 and said, "five!" Then she held up five fingers and said, "Der five right der." Then she twisted it again to the capital N and said "N fo' No-mi." When I asked her a few minutes later what the N was for she said, "Almi." LOL

Her new question of the hour is, "Wha dat noise, Mommy?" or "Wha dat soun'?" Every little squeak and creak she asking me that. Cracks me up!

"Ah doin', baby?" She asks me this all the time. She likes to pretend she is the Mommy and I am Almi (the baby) so when she's ready to play she'll say that. It's so cute.

"I'm No-mi" Yes. She says this now, too. She can't pronounce 3 syllable words very well so she calls herself No-mi."

She is learning how to clean up her toys!


She likes string beans, butternut squash, spinach, yellow squash, cauliflower and carrots! She also likes bananas, blueberries, apples, pineapple, clementines, raisins and dates. She also eats fish and plain yogurt. I really can't complain. I think that's better than most toddlers.

She is obsessed with ants! If she sees one she tells me, "Bug!" and then gets down really close to it to examine it.




We love to snuggle and goof off!


And because it's St. Patrick's Day, here are some pics of my adorable leprechaun from last year.