Back to Work

...and back to the world of complete exhaustion. I can't remember ever being so tired. I can barely make it through the day without falling asleep (though that will change next week with a class full of 22 kindergartners!) I drag myself out of bed after seven hours of sleep and still need to stop off for a large coffee. Then I go through the motions looking forward to when I can go home and relax. I hope when I start my new schedule next week it helps me with my energy level cause being tired all day isn't fun. And when I am exhausted I get sick. This summer I was able to go four whole months without getting sick (including part of May). It was a record for me. And so noticeable. I remember saying to myself, 'Wow, I haven't been sick in such a long time!' Last year I had strep throat three or four times. It was crazy! Five year olds are germ factories and I must have some sort of extra-weak immune system or something cause I get whatever goes around. Every. Single. Time. I was forced to take sick days which of course now translates to fewer days with pay when I take leave this winter. I have to use up my ten days of accrued sick leave before I can access FMLA. I asked them what happens if I or my baby gets sick after I return to work and the answer was I take leave without pay. Great. Gotta love the family-friendly American workplace. Not.

Meanwhile my Canadian teacher friend is in Namibia picking up her daughter. She emailed her principal before she left and said she'd be back in March. No need to find a sub. No requirement to write sub plans. No stress. And nine months paid leave. I'm happy for her, but so unfair!

I know I keep complaining about this but it makes it so hard to look forward to parenting knowing I won't have even one slim dime come in for the two months I plan to take off. I want to take off the rest of the year and bond with my daughter. I want to feed her and put her down for her nap and I want my face to be the one she sees when she wakes up. I want to take her to the park and the pool and for walks in the neighborhood. I want to be the one who hears her speak her first words.

If I could just figure out how to manage not going back after leave. At this rate I estimate I will be traveling to Ethiopia sometime before Christmas, let's say mid-December. If I take off two months, I will be expected back to work in mid-February. When I go back there will still be 4 more months left of the school year. And then the next two (summer vacation) which are also unpaid. In total, that amounts to eight months unpaid. There is no way. Don't want the house to go in foreclosure or anything, but dang! I do-not-want-to-go-back! I wish I could figure it out.