Reclaiming Lost Energy

Summer is ending and that is truly bittersweet. She will never have another summer of being two! I wanted to expose her to so many things and to document them all but there were many things I could not/cannot do due to time constraints, financial constraints or that it's not possible with just me. Eh, it is what it is. We have more than most but man I wish I could have taken her to the beach more often. I don't live far from a body of water that passes as a beach but I couldn't take her because I need two pairs of eyes to watch her. She likes to run off and explore and if that happened who would watch our stuff? I never did get the shot I wanted of her in her adorable ruffled bathing suit. She had it on a few times when were at the beach in MV and at pool by my house but I couldn't stop and photograph her because I needed t to keep her safe. I bought her a life jacket with the plan of going canoeing or boating. Nah, didn't happen. Her daycare took her to a splashpark but I never took her for whatever reason. We never caught fireflies or laid in hammock. I never put together the water table I bought her.

I don't say these things to whine and complain. I will do better next summer. I say them because deep down--or really not so deep down really--I want so much more for my girl. I want her to experience all life has to offer and at times I feel like I am short changing her. I want her to experience opera and dance and gymnastics. I want her to take ballet and play soccer and have a huge swingset in the backyard. I want to take her to foreign countries and show her amazing things. And I want something as simple as allowing her to be able to be a curious toddler who gets into things and not try to avert every situation because I don't have the energy to clean up the mess it will make. Basically, I want her life to be full and enriching and fun. I don't want it to be all daycare/dinner/bath/bed/errands. I want so much more for her and I'm disappointed that at the moment I can't do more.

As always, things are so busy around here and I am beat. I knew going back to work would be hard while trying to raise Naomi; prepare healthy, home cooked meals; clean and have a social life. Unfortunately, the social life has taken a back seat. Well, that and the cleaning. ;-) But not the healthy meal part. I am trying hard to combat my constant fatigue but for years it has been a losing battle. Having a toddler at home has exacerbated the problem so I decided to try fasting to give my body a rest and try to regain some energy. For three days I only ate fresh or steamed fruits & veggies and water. After three days I was so bored I added sweet potatoes, fish, seeds, sea salt, olive oil, garlic and turmeric. It's still pretty boring but I am determined to feel better and thankfully the cravings are minimal. I can't believe I'm not tempted by the icy, cold Cokes in my fridge or the ice cream and chocolate chip cookies in my freezer. I am very motivated by wanting to be healthier for my daughter and by the fact that I have already shed 8 pounds! Woot! The scale hasn't read in the 140's in a l-o-o-o-o-ong time. I think I may even have a shot at seeing it in the 130's again at this rate! It's amazing to think I weighed 126 lbs. when I moved to California in 2000 and sometime last year I was as heavy as 160. Ugh. That was not pretty. But what was worse was how sluggish I felt and just blah. I am on my way to reclaiming my health and my drive is motivating my friends and family members as well which is nice. To top it off, my school district, which I hate for so many reasons, is at least doing one cool thing: they have started a program/contest to see if we can band together in teams to lose weight and exercise. Their bottom line is to lower their health insurance costs. Yeah, exercise and diet will no doubt help but if they stopped making the job so f'n demanding and the pay so sh!tty people wouldn't be stressed out and eating crap all day to survive the b.s. I'm just sayin'.

The Kindergarten team in my building has formed a team and I wanna win! I don't even know what the prizes are but I still wanna win! lol Anyhoo, I am hopeful that this will help other aspects of my/our life.

Thankfully, my new job is so much better in a lot of ways. I have some behavior problems and it's probably one of the lowest groups of kids I have ever taught (can't count to ten, don't know their letters, can't write or recognize their names, etc.). I seriously have my work cut out for me--I have to get them all on or above grade level by June (wish me luck on that one!!!!) but I really like my new colleagues a lot and that makes a world of difference! Here are some pics from my classroom:

Meanwhile, the apartment is still not rented. I have been having internet issues and every time I got on to try to fill out an ad, it was on the blink. Frustrating! I hope to get it rented out starting in October. I could really use the extra money!!

That's about all going on around here.

Here are some not-so-great photos of my funny, active girl.

And a video of her eating a concoction I prepared. You can hear how congested she is. She has had a runny nose, diarrhea or been congested practically every day since she's been home. I had her tested for everything under the sun and they all keep coming back negative. The doctor said she may have "toddler's diarrhea" or seasonal allergies. Maybe. Or she may have some sort of food intolerance or sensitivity. I am equally committed to getting her healthy so have begun preparing more homemade things for her now as well. As she eats up the boxed cereal, canned spaghetti and fruit cups I am not replacing them, but instead making things from scratch. Making things at home and controlling the ingredients is also a great way to get more fruits and veggies into her.. and me for that matter! No wonder I'm so tired!! :)



(sorry it cuts off as she's talking, the battery in my camera died. oops!)