May Update

Three months together and time to write the first post-placement report.

Stats:

Height: unknown
Weight: 27.4 lbs.--according to my scale (no recent information from the doctor's office)

New Words:
up - not new but she uses it for up, down, out and stop (like 'uncle' when I'm tickling her)
wee! - when she's throwing something or swiveling a chair
no - nose
caca - our word for poop. I thought it was an Amharic word but I could be wrong. She uses it for anything gross
baby
titty/ditty (kitty)
Amen
(it appears without my direct instruction she isn't learning as quickly)

Words I've heard once or a few times:
Saw (Sean - her friend at daycare)
tan oo (thank you)
naw naw (night night)
ellow (yellow)
all duh (all done)

New Signs:
cereal
apple

Likes:
* clasps and buckles -- she can play with these for like 15 min. without stopping, totally engrossed
* daycare! (thank God)
* singing... she can sing the ABCs with a close enough approximation for me to recognize what she's doing and join in


Dislikes:
* raw vegetable of any kind
* processed meats (lunch meat, McDonald's, Arby's, etc.--she'll spit them out!)
* bows in her hair
* wearing hats

Glad she hasn't figured out how to undo them yet! Don't want her to unbuckle the carseat!

Random Things:

* She is spun-ky. And hilarious and opinionated. I love her little personality but I could see how it might become an issue if I let it. Comments I have heard about her range from "She has quite a personality" to "You better start disciplining her or you are going to have trouble on your hands." I have to say it's hard to be the heavy sometimes. She has no playmates when it's just the two of us so I spend a lot of time playing with her but I do wonder sometimes about the balance. Should I play less and be 'mom' more? How much of her behavior is due to her age? Her adoption? Outside influences? Genetics? My parenting? It's hard to really know so I just do what comes naturally. One of the best pieces of advice that I have gotten is to parent as I see fit. And that's what I'm doing.

*She is on a good schedule. She's down no later than 7:30 at night and usually sleeps 12 hours. She's sleeping in her crib in her own room and is having no problems with it. She only naps about an hour and a half at daycare but on the weekends she naps closer to 3 hours with me. I am SO grateful she is a good sleeper!

* Our bedtime routine includes bath, pj's, brushing teeth, stories, etc. Sometimes all of those things, sometimes only a few. But each night I do sing to her. I sing: "Lullaby and good night. Go to sleep little Almi. Lullaby and good night. Go to sleep little girl. Lullaby and good night. Go to sleep little Naomi. Lullaby and good night. Go to sleep little girl." I do this before naptime, too. When I start the song she will immediately nestle into my neck and put her head on my shoulder and stay still. It calms her right down and I cherish it. Soon she will be too big (sniff) and it is so comforting for both of us.

* Her favorite book this month is Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs a cute board book by Boynton. I will act out each page or use different voices and she loves it.

* She loves to climb! Her latest trick is to push something up she can climb up on against something higher as a stepstool.

* She'll point to the space or chair next to her for me to sit down. She smiles broadly when I join her. Adorable.

* She really plays with her dolls now. I modeled for her when she got home and just this month she has really gotten it down. She will cover them up and say "naw naw" (night night) to them.

* They call her Omi at daycare, short for Naomi. Apparently the kids couldn't say Naomi so she became Omi. It sounds a lot like Almi!

*She runs with her arms stretched out behind her.

* She loves to throw things. Balls, other random toys, books, clothes, etc. Thankfully not food.

* She loves to eat out in restaurants and is starting to get the idea that you have to wait for the waiter to bring food to eat and to bring the check before you can leave.


* Her hair grows SO slowly! What is the deal with that? I do the same routine with her hair as I do with mine and mine grows about .5" a month. In three months her hair has maybe grown a half an inch in all. Maybe. I am so frustrated because I am itching to do cute styles!

* Unknown sounds scare her. If an ambulance goes down the street, for example, she will put her hand to her ear and look at me with a worried look or she will run to me for comfort.

* She loves her new bath toy, a wind up otter. The other day she wanted to play with it but we had somewhere to go so I told her no. So she looked at it from the edge of the tub and waved at it and said, "hi"'. So cute!

*To get picked up she now will raise her hands over her head and squeeze her hands open and closed. I think she picked that up in daycare.

* No wonder I can't find things. I was wondering where those shoes were!

* She says "hi" a lot. She will wave and say hi to birds and dogs and stuffed animals. She will also wave to strangers in stores and restaurants (or try to grab their arm as they walk by). She loves when they stop and speak to her. She gets loads of attention as you can imagine.

* I will open my arms and she will run into them and give me a big hug. She also kisses me spontaneously now.

* When I am taking a picture I will say, "Say cheese!" She thinks I'm saying teeth cause she will pretend to brush her teeth!


* She loves, loves, loves dogs! She loves to see the real thing but also in magazines and on her clothing and mine. "Doggie!! Doggie!!" If I had the energy I would get her a dog for her birthday. (I don't... as if I really had to reiterate that). I think a doggie birthday cake will be quite a fun substitute.

* Preschool art! Yay!



*Her eating issues are getting a lot better! She eats more slowly and has begun to develop preferences for certain things. I'm sure I will regret that at some point but it makes me feel so much better that she realizes there will be another meal. In fact, for awhile there she had gotten so picky she would flick her hand at me and turn her head to the side when I offered her something she didn't want! That habit didn't last long. Now she just hands it to me to take. She doesn't even like the item sitting on her highchair tray! She will also now leave food on her tray when she's full. I think we have officially turned the corner on that worrisome issue!! Yay!

*She still amazes me with her rhythm. She will clap to a song on beat and when another one comes on the radio in a different tempo, she will change and still clap correctly.

*She loves to take things she knows are off limits, wait til she gets eye contact with me and then take off running. I crack up each time. Little stinker! Like, for example my May sign for the photoshoot.

*She will put almost anything in her mouth (toilet paper, crumbs.. even poop once when I was changing her diaper!) Most of the time she knows she shouldn't cause often she will then come to me to remove it from her tongue.


Me?
*I am still verrrrrrrrry tired and overwhelmed. May was a very, very, very rough month with going back to work and getting really sick. I had no sick days left so I had to drag myself in every day on no sleep and suck it up. It was very, very, very difficult. Hell. Though the aches, pains, fever and sore throat only lasted 5 days, the cough is lingering now into day 12. With no family in the area and no friends stepping up to help me, I have had to rely on the kindness of strangers. I reached out to my fabulous Yahoo Group, SMC, and they gave me suggestions on how to cope and some even offered to babysit or swap times watching eachother's kids. Thank God. I really thought I was going to lose it some days. Advice to all you single parents-to-be: have your support network in place. It is critical. Now that I am starting to feel better and with school getting out in in a couple of weeks I am hopeful for good summer. This is precious time together and I am looking forward to going to the park and the beach and the pool... but trust and believe, I will be hiring a sitter or swapping times with another parent. Me-time is in serious order!!

By the way, I never called for the results on her blood tests. My doctor said since they didn't contact her I could presume they were all negative but if May weren't so awful I would have called to double check. I will call next week... It's June! A new month! :-D In the meantime, she's not missing dairy. Here she is trying her first Tofutti Cutie. She loved it!




I'm glad you enjoyed that, Pumpkin!

Mother's Day

I spent my first Mother's Day with my new daughter and my mom (and other family). It was really nice. My mom wanted me to bring her to church but that only lasted 5 minutes--until Almi wanted to run up and down the aisles. Then we went to brunch, opened cards (teared up while reading aloud the sentiments) and *attempted* to get a 3 generations photo. I got a lot of phone calls and texts and even cards in the mail. I really appreciated everyone's good wishes but I got to be honest...it was all so surreal. Am I really someone's mother? I'm curious to find out when I officially begin to feel like one.

OK, I gotta be honest here. Most blogs are not. But I know I always appreciate ones where people are real and authentic, so here goes. Naomi Winter Almaz is an amazing child. There is no getting around that and I am honored to be chosen to parent her and I will do so the best way I know how. She has been entrusted in my care and I take that very seriously. I truly love her.

But.

Yes there's a but..

It is *very* hard.
I am tired.
I feel isolated.
I need help.
I miss my old life.
I have no balance.
I want sleep.
I want more money.
I want to be doing this with a husband.
I wanna cry.
I do cry.
Can I repeat how tired I am?

It has gotten a lot better than the first few days we were together. I still haven't finished blogging about my time in Ethiopia and I will but suffice it to say that it was very, very, very difficult. I thank God my cousin was there to help me out. She got sick. She was grieving. I was exhausted. So it's better now-- a lot better-- I recognize that and know it will continue to get better. But without a lot of language she gets frustrated. And without sleep and without help I get frustrated. Oh and can I also mention the diarrhea?? No diagnosis yet. But really, ugh. And, well, I've been up since 4:00 this morning so that's where this is all coming from. Don't worry, we're hanging in there!! Just venting.

Meanwhile, I go back to work on Monday. I don't want to go, but Almi's in daycare now and seems happy and, well, I need a paycheck! In short, the sick leave bank rejected my claim so I will not get paid one slim dime from the time I was off plus they just informed me that I will be receiving a bill for my health insurance premiums for the time I was out. Yeah, my school district pretty much sucks. And there is nothing more I have to say about that.

My first preschool art project to come home was also my Mother's Day gift!

Thanks for all the kind comments about the ER visit!!! She is doing much better!

ER

OK, so that was scary. Around 1 a.m. Almi woke up screaming out. She often cries in her sleep but this was louder and woke her up. She was in pain. I picked her up and she was extremely hot to the touch. I thought she might be running a fever but her ears were still cool. I read somewhere that if your ears are still cool you aren't running a fever but she seemed extremely hot so I looked for the baby thermometer. I put it under her arm and it read 100.8. I figured I could give her some Infant Tylenol or Motrin, both of which I have, but they had recently been recalled. So what should I do if I couldn't give her medicine? I looked on the internet and it said I could give her a sponge bath. I brought a warm washcloth into bed and tried that but she was very uncomfortable. So I called a friend. One without kids. What was I thinking? He was no help. So I called my neighbor. She has a 3 year old. But she didn't pick up her home phone or her cell. So I called my doctor. I felt a bit silly actually but she also was having a lot of trouble breathing and, frankly, I was worried.

The pediatrician called me right back and told me to get some generic brand of acetaminophen, but if the breathing didn't improve to take her in to urgent care. It was 1:30 in the morning and I couldn't send hubby out to get the meds (damn, where the hell is he??) so I packed up my sick little girl and took her with me to CVS. Poor thing. I gave her some and she went back to sleep. She woke up a few more times in the night crying out but slept fairly well, considering.

Around 6:45am she woke up crying again and I took her temperature again. It had come down to 99.8 but her breathing was no better so I took her to urgent care at Children's Hospital. Would you believe they weren't open? Wouldn't you expect urgent care at a hospital to be open 24 hours? Well, they're not. They keep business hours: 8-4. It was 7:25. I was exhausted so I asked the guard if I was reading the hours right. I was, but he suggested I take her to the emergency room triage to see if they'd admit her since there wasn't one single patient in there. I didn't think it was an emergency but they had the staffing and the time to examine her. They actually did go ahead and admit her (as an outpatient) once they heard her breathing. One thing I hadn't thought about was the co-pay. It's $50 in the emergency room but she's worth it. She was diagnosed with croup, given some steroids and they sent us on our way.

She's doing better now, though still cranky and wanting to be held non-stop, but she's eating like a champ and back to her mischievous antics so I am no longer terribly concerned.

One May Afternoon

Just hanging out in the yard on a sunny afternoon. I love how expressive she is!

April Update

Wow, home two months already? Time flies!! We are definitely much more attached. I still don't feel like a mom most days, but I feel so much love for her. I feel myself wanting to be more protective, I feel more pride in her accomplishments and I hurt more when she's hurt or scared. Her little personality is blossoming and it's such a joy to watch unfold. She is independent, curious, funny, mischievous, determined, energetic, happy, easy going, sweet... Man, she is the greatest little kid. I am so lucky!

Recent Stats:
height: 32" ( 12th %ile)
weight: 25.74 lbs. (46th %ile)

(Not sure if the percentiles are correct since this doctor placed her in a very different rank than the last doctor but she does seem to be on the shorter side).


New Words:
pee or pees - please
nana - banana
up or uppy - definitely "up" not "help me" (but she also says it for down)
hi
show - shoe
Momma - oh how I love it!!! She also says Emmay still which I also love!!
dada or joojee - to get my attention, for more food, for other random things where she doesn't have the words


Signs:
thank you (but she does it with a kiss cause it looks like blowing a kiss. Too cute!!)
milk
apple
baby
hot
fish


Other:
She told me no for the first time on Friday, April 16th by shaking her head when I tried to put a certain shirt on her. She now shakes her head no all the time when she doesn't want to do something. Uh oh... I'm in for it. She is becoming a lot more vocal and opinionated on a number of things!

She hands me her plate when she is done eating to let me know she wants it refilled. 'Get to it, Mom!' Ha!

Speaking of food, we are still having major issues. She eats SOO much and SOO quickly! She could easily eat an adult-sized entree with a whole cup of soy milk and a dessert. I want her to eat a lot of healthy foods and grow strong but I have serious concerns about choking and her eating herself sick. The doctors don't think it's an issue but they also have never seen her eat. Anyone who has thinks her eating habits are incredible (friends, family, daycare, etc.) So far all I have been doing is monitoring her, trying to slow her down, cutting things into tiny pieces of course and saying no when I really think she has had enough. It's tough because I don't know if she's really still hungry (and she may be since she eats way faster than the 20 minutes her brain needs to signal to her that she's full) or if it's something more serious. I guess time will tell.

She has gotten very whiny with me. Not with family or friends. No, she saves it for me. When she wakes up in the morning (99% of the time before I do) she whines in her crib. She's not one of those happy kids who play quietly or call out "hi" or "momma". No, she whines or cries, even though I am only 2' from her. We are working on it and it seems to be getting better. I model for her a happy face and a kind greeting and she's getting it. Maybe she's not a morning person... I can relate! (Update: she has gotten so much better at this! She is so much sweeter in the mornings now!) She also still whines at mealtime when I am taking too long to prepare her food. She whines when I put her in her carseat when she wants to stay outside and play. She doesn't do it with other people and fortunately it doesn't last long with me either. She is often easily distracted or redirected (except when it has to do with food). Basically, she is extremely verbal with not much English (um, and yeah, she's a toddler!). I know in a few short months this whining will turn into comments/requests/demands and I am soo looking forward to that! Really. I want to know what she is thinking. Here's a cute story: the other day I left the gate open at the top of the steps when I went to bed. Early that morning when she woke up too early, I took her out of her crib and put her into bed with me so we could get more sleep. Later that morning she climbed out of my bed and walked into the hall. She came running back in and insisted I get out of bed. She took my hand and led me into the hall and pointed to the gate. It was so amazing! She's such a smart cookie!

The scowls she presented last month are basically gone. I guess now that she's bonded to me, she doesn't worry about every new adult she meets. That makes me feel so good. I want her to feel safe and secure with me.

She can blow her nose. She will pick up random things around the house, wipe her own nose and then use that item to clean the counter or floor :)

Her diapers are still wretched. She continues to have diarrhea almost every day. In fact, she has had only 3 diapers in 7 weeks - three!- that have had a normal poop. I know, TMI, but it's very disconcerting. The pediatrician can't seem to figure it out. She tested negative for Giardia three times and I don't let her eat dairy products. Maybe she's allergic to wheat or gluten? Maybe she really does have a parasite? I took her to a gastroenterologist last week. I took two stool samples and she got extensive bloodwork. Hope I get some answers!

She still loves to pray! We pray before meals and at bedtime (though she will initiate prayer at random times) and she takes it very seriously. Even though she loves her food, she will put her spoon down to clasp her hands and she follows up my prayer with an "Ahbay!"

She is pretty good in restaurants... which means I can still have a life :) If she is eating, she's fine. When the food is cleared away, though, she is ready to get down and go!

She answers to Naomi and Almi and I call her both pretty equally--well, no, I think I call her Almi more. Some people still call her Almaz which is fine by me but she doesn't really answer to it. I heard Almi was a nickname for Almaz and I think it's cute and my family mostly calls her that as well.

She sleeps from 10-12 hours a night but she still wakes me up most nights with whimpering, though it seems to be subsiding.

When I'm too loud or something else is too loud, she puts her finger to her lips and shakes her head no. Too funny!

Here someone mowing the lawn was too loud to her.


She still calls me both Emmay and Momma. The other day I turned around in the car and said to her, "Hi, Baby" and she responded, "Hi, Momma." I was thrilled!! Soo cute!

She loves to brush her teeth and put on lotion. She will pretend to brush her teeth with her finger to let me know. Lotion she loves to put on really, really thick.


After I comfort her when she gets upset or hurt I'll say, "Ishy?" and she'll confirm, "ishy."

When I tell her to say bye bye to someone she will sometimes, but more often she blows a kiss. Of course people love this and think she's the cutest thing ever. And you know what? She is!