Back to Work

...and back to the world of complete exhaustion. I can't remember ever being so tired. I can barely make it through the day without falling asleep (though that will change next week with a class full of 22 kindergartners!) I drag myself out of bed after seven hours of sleep and still need to stop off for a large coffee. Then I go through the motions looking forward to when I can go home and relax. I hope when I start my new schedule next week it helps me with my energy level cause being tired all day isn't fun. And when I am exhausted I get sick. This summer I was able to go four whole months without getting sick (including part of May). It was a record for me. And so noticeable. I remember saying to myself, 'Wow, I haven't been sick in such a long time!' Last year I had strep throat three or four times. It was crazy! Five year olds are germ factories and I must have some sort of extra-weak immune system or something cause I get whatever goes around. Every. Single. Time. I was forced to take sick days which of course now translates to fewer days with pay when I take leave this winter. I have to use up my ten days of accrued sick leave before I can access FMLA. I asked them what happens if I or my baby gets sick after I return to work and the answer was I take leave without pay. Great. Gotta love the family-friendly American workplace. Not.

Meanwhile my Canadian teacher friend is in Namibia picking up her daughter. She emailed her principal before she left and said she'd be back in March. No need to find a sub. No requirement to write sub plans. No stress. And nine months paid leave. I'm happy for her, but so unfair!

I know I keep complaining about this but it makes it so hard to look forward to parenting knowing I won't have even one slim dime come in for the two months I plan to take off. I want to take off the rest of the year and bond with my daughter. I want to feed her and put her down for her nap and I want my face to be the one she sees when she wakes up. I want to take her to the park and the pool and for walks in the neighborhood. I want to be the one who hears her speak her first words.

If I could just figure out how to manage not going back after leave. At this rate I estimate I will be traveling to Ethiopia sometime before Christmas, let's say mid-December. If I take off two months, I will be expected back to work in mid-February. When I go back there will still be 4 more months left of the school year. And then the next two (summer vacation) which are also unpaid. In total, that amounts to eight months unpaid. There is no way. Don't want the house to go in foreclosure or anything, but dang! I do-not-want-to-go-back! I wish I could figure it out.

Dreams

There is a blog I read about a couple who just returned home from Ethiopia with their new son. They seem like interesting and genuine people. I could see being friends with them if I knew them. Last night she (I don't know her name) posted about a dream she had. She said she dreamed her husband left her for another woman and she was devastated until she woke up and realized her husbands arms were wrapped around her and her son and how happy she was and how all was right with the world. It was a really sweet, heartfelt post. You can read her words here.

I read that post and thought about how lucky she is to feel so happy and then I went to bed. That night I dreamt that I was in a happy relationship and very much in love. It was a wonderful, wonderful dream. But then I woke up. My reality is that I am actually alone and not in a loving relationship and that my dream was just that - a dream. How depressing is that? I wanted to cry.

In better news, I am #2 on the waiting list. My agency said, though, that that doesn't really mean anything because being #2 could mean I get a referral tomorrow, next month or the month after that. It may not mean anything to them but it sure did help to balance out the sadness I felt after my dream.

New Year, New Schedule

It feels like New Year's Eve. Well, New Year's Eve minus the champagne and great party. Tomorrow is my first day back to work and I have created a schedule for myself which kind of has a New Year's Resolutions feel. I am preparing for a fresh start and have a made some plans for what to eat, how to spend my time...basically how to proceed from this day forward.

By the end of the year I am going to be a mom and I have some things I want I need to put into place before that day arrives. On that list include things like losing weight, learning how to manage stress, getting organized, cooking, becoming more efficient with my time, etc.

I created a list on the right side of my blog of things I planned on taking care of this summer while I was off. I was able to accomplish some of them but I need to accomplish all of them before November. With a little less than 2 and a half months left, I needed to write down a schedule for myself so I don't waste time on being inefficient and distracted and lazy.

So here it is. My schedule. Don't laugh. Trust me, I need to schedule myself down to the half hour if I want to get it all done!

Monday - Thursday
5:00-7:00 workout
7:00-7:30 get ready for work
7:30-5:30 commuting to & from and working
5:30-6:30 cleaning & organizing
6:30-7:30 dinner
7:30-9:00 taks
9:00-9:30 get ready for bed
9:30 - bedtime

In the evenings from 7:30-9:00 if I finish up my tasks early I can watch TV, read, talk on the phone, blog, etc. Fridays are more relaxed. Still plan to workout in the a.m. but the evening is reserved for fun/dates. Weekends are for large projects like organizing my basement, decorating the nursery, menu planning, creative endeavors, church, etc. but also the main goal is to be able to relax on weekends and do what I want to do and not what I didn't get done during the week. I have already turned down three(!) invitations this week telling the people that Mon-Thurs really aren't good days for me--that I'm too busy--and all three agreed to postpone our get togethers until this weekend! Perhaps when I am in the swing I can carve out time during the week for dates/fun, but for now it's gotta be off limits.

I am going to ease into this schedule this week (it's after midnight and I am still up cause I am still on Pacific time and not tired!) but I plan to be in full swing by next Sunday. Wish me luck. It's going to be somewhat of a change from my current lifestyle but it will be good to get myself into a routine. On top of all of this, Mon-Thurs I am going to "eat clean" which basically means no sugar, no alcohol, no red meat, no sweets, no fried foods, no rice, no pasta, etc. I figure I can do that 4 days a week knowing that the next three are free days. Four days on and three days off. It's a schedule I think I can live with and it should get me organized, thinner and more relaxed and ready for my baby girl who is likely to arrive in three months!

Trip to LA

I think I just took my last trip as a single, childless woman. Well, maybe not my last as a single woman, but I do think that may have actually been my last trip without a child! That is so weird to think about!

I went to LA for four days and had a great time visiting family and enjoying the weather. I went to In-N-Out and got burgers "protein-style" (no bun-wrapped in lettuce instead!); went to listen to jazz with my niece and friend Justina and ran into my friend Scot there; rode in Justina's convertible and let the California breeze blow through my hair; checked out an elementary school that we passed where the playground had an ocean view and vowed to teach there one day; had cake my niece baked to celebrate my sister's birthday; went to the movies and enjoyed delicious French food with my cousin, Chuck; went shopping (I bought a great, inexpensive black skirt for work..it comes in 8 colors...I might need to get one more sent out); went to the beach in Santa Monica and took pictures of the seagulls; had dinner and mojitos at my sister's house; drove down to Laguna Beach for key lime martinis and more beach time; took pictures of the California coast and the beautiful architecture; had great Thai food, and more!! It was a great four days. I had forgotten how stunningly beautiful California is and didn't realize how much I miss it.

Sure it's smoggy and the nightlife isn't great and there are a whole host of fake wannabes out there but I am considering moving back sometime in the future. I have family out there and by the time I would consider moving back, my cousin would probably have a family as well and our kids could grow up together. Hmmm.. it's a thought. For now, though, it's time to get back to my reality here and that means back to work on Monday. I am not ready for my vacation to end-- except it means that the sooner I go back, the sooner my referral comes and the sooner I travel and the sooner I become a mom!! Breathe.

(photo credit: blackcelebkids.com)

By the way, guess who I saw at LAX? Jax and Jaid! They are the most adorable boys! They were with their father so I wouldn't have had any idea who they were if I wasn't a celebrity baby blog stalker.. but I am so I knew exactly who they were. I was in the little shop by the gate buying a soda when I saw them with their dad. He leaned over and said something like, "J, don't do that" so I said, "Jax and Jaid?" He looked surprised and said, "Yes." And then I stood there frozen and starstruck and said nothing more until he left (to get away from the crazy woman!) Starstruck over some 2 year olds! Ha! I'm a mess.

Lilly Pulitzer

... for $3.75.
Yup.

Mom's Visit

I convinced my mom to come visit me so we could have some one on one time - a girls weekend! She arrived Saturday morning and stayed until Monday night. When I first picked her up from the airport, on a whim we drove to find the house where she spent her childhood summers and the house where her father used to visit as a child. We were able to find the streets though the houses were no longer there. It was great for her to be able to see those places as an adult and I enjoyed doing that with her. What else did we do? Well, we went to a huge flea market. It was blazing hot--about 94 degrees. We walked around but didn't buy anything except these amazing authentic tacos. My mom was such a trooper! What else? Oh, we got our nails done, ate out--a lot, saw Julie & Julia (loved it!), went to the National Cathedral for Sunday service and talked and laughed a lot. I also had a lot of fun taking her to the thrift stores and boy did she get into it! No surprise there really as she is the queen of consignment shops and sales-- must be where I got it from! She bought me so many nice things for my daughter!! So sweet! It was fun. Here are some pictures from the weekend. Thanks for coming to visit me, Mom! I enjoyed hosting you! Sure wished we lived closer!

Bargain Shopping Pt. II

Part II - CVS and the ECBs

Do you shop at CVS? I do, all the time. It's very convenient. Did you ever notice at the end of your receipt where you sometimes see that you have earned some Extra Care Bucks? I used to see those but I didn't use them very often. Well, I have learned that you can stock pile them and use a bunch on one shopping trip. If you look in their weekly circular you will see items that will earn you ECBs. If you buy those items, plus use coupons from your Sunday paper, you really don't pay all that much. I wasn't a believer until I tried it. Two weeks ago I went to CVS and purchased items that earned me $11.00 in ECBs. Now granted one of those items was eyedrops and I didn't really need eyedrops, but I figured I may need them one day. The thing is, the eyedrops cost $7.99 and the ECBs earned on them was $7.99 so they were basically free. So, why not?!

OK, so back to this week. First I looked at this week's circular and looked for items that would earn me some ECBs. Then I looked for items on sale for which I already had a coupon. Some of the items I didn't need right away but knew I would at some point (like toilet paper, toothpaste, etc.) so buying them cheaply made sense. Here, my friends, is the result of all that hard work.


And the best part? The total for all those items was only $6.10! Seriously! The allergy medicine and the batteries were free (coupon on the end of previous shopping receipt). The Colgate was 2 for 1 and I had a $1 off coupon. The candle was free (coupon in Sunday's paper). The other items were either very cheap or earned me more ECBs --except for the Vitamin Water.. I was just thirsty! The best part, though, was that I alos returned a rain poncho that I had purchased last spring and got a credit of $7.35 so I left the store with all those things plus $1.45!

Give the ECBs at CVS a try. You might be surprised at your savings!

Bargain Shopping Part I

OK, seriously, I have taken bargain shopping to a whole new level! Before this year I never paid much attention to what things cost. If I wanted to go out to dinner, I did. If I wanted an iPod, an iMac or a new camera I bought 'em. Since I was never terribly extravagant (I bought my car used and I actually like clothes from the GAP, etc.) it was never much of an issue. Well, my new reality is that I am not making as much as I should be this year plus I'm about to be adding a baby into the mix. As challenging as this year is going to be (budget-wise) I can actually say that I am grateful for it-- that I can see truly see the silver lining-- because for once in my life I am putting myself on a budget and am paying attention to spending. The lessons are numerous --being mindful of waste and excess, learning to live more simply, exercising delayed gratification, understanding what it is like to be without, learning valuable habits which I can model for my daughter, etc. and it has been a humbling, eye-opening learning experience.

Part I - The Thrift Store

The old mindset is gone-the one that was 'too embarrassed' to shop in thrift stores. And let me reiterate. We're talking thrift stores not consignment shops. I still shop in consignment shops but sometimes those shops are dare I say, expensive? And besides, shopping in consignment shops is considered trendy or funky. You're cool if you wear vintage- or unique or different. But thrift store shopping is completely different. We're talking stores of the Goodwill/Salvation Army ilk. Stores where I used to donate to (still do) not shop from (unless it was for a costume party). The first time I went into one of the many enormous thrift stores in my area, truth to tell, I was a bit embarrassed. Call me elitist or snobby or pretentious but I didn't feel like I belonged in there. My mindset was still in retail. I was used to the clean, bright department stores with the impeccably dressed cashiers and a pianist in the corner giving my shopping experience a dash of cultural flair. I was used to knowing where to look to find my given size, a generous dressing room to try on my selections and having my clothes wrapped in tissue before being carefully placed into nice large shopping bags.

Thrift store shopping requires a paradigm shift. You have to throw that retail mentality out. the. window. The moment you walk in the front door the musty smell will hit you in the face and trust me it gets worse from there. There are some things I have come to expect including

* screaming children darting in and out the clothing racks
* clothes with stains or tears
* spending a lot of time looking and not having much to show for it
* dressing rooms filled with clothes and locks that don't work
* employees who don't speak much English
* cheap plastic shopping bags
* poop on the floor (OK that only happened once.. but ew!)

I know it sounds awful but it's really not. It did take some getting used to and for me that took about three trips. On the fourth trip there I didn't mind seeing the college students giving me that pitiful look of feeling sorry for me doing real shopping as they were just in there searching for an outfit for a 70s party. Was I embarrassed? A twinge perhaps but it swiftly passed because I realized they are still stuck in the overpriced retail mentality; they just don't get it yet. Maybe they won't ever, but I am sure glad that I did. Thrift stores aren't for everyone but the pluses, for me, outweigh the minuses. What are the pluses?

* the sales people aren't pushy and don't follow you around
* saving boatloads of $
* the feeling you get when you leave with your cheap plastic bag bursting at the seams

I have found some incredible deals in our area thrift stores and I almost feel sorry for the knuckleheads who haven't discovered them yet and still pay $60 for a blouse when they could have gotten a really nice one (often new ones with the price tags still attached) for $6. What started out as a way to get some inexpensive clothes for my daughter has turned into something totally different altogether. I now look in other parts of the store to see if there is stuff for me or for the house. Here's an example. I saw this nice sweater there yesterday. It's brown with pink trim. It looks brand new, it's comfortable and it has a scarf attached to it. Great for work.


Cute, huh? And it only cost $3.50! (On Mondays everything is 50% off!)


To all of you who still turn your nose up at thrift stores, I say give it three tries and if you still hate it, fine..but I am sure there will be others like me who will cross over to my side. And the giddy feeling I get when I am told what the total is will keep me coming back for more!


to be continued...

Yum

I just whipped myself up a lovely summer meal for dinner tonight. I wanted to use up some of the foods that I already have around the house and I wanted it to be light.... et voila´! Tuna with cannellini beans. Superbe!

First I drained the tuna and put a scoop on my plate. Then I rinsed the beans and plopped some down on the tuna. Then drizzled them both with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and added some freshly ground black pepper and sea salt. Then I cut up some avocado, tomato and white onion and it was ready. It was quick. It was easy. Et c'était délicieux! (My French is WAY rusty! Feel free to correct me!)

2

My agency says to expect a referral of a girl under age two before the end of 2009! Wow. It is starting to get exciting as it gets closer and closer and actually begins to feel real. I have been decluttering and cleaning and organizing all summer... I guess I am nesting! It's not just pregnant women who go through the urge to make their homes spotless! My mom is coming down this weekend and I am so excited to share with her all my preparations and to go out together and buy more stuff!!

Two months months down. I wonder how many to go?

Butterflies

I finally came up with a theme I like for the nursery/toddler bedroom! Butterflies! I don't have sheets--or furniture for that matter (even though it was recommended that I start with sheets and build from there) but I'm not into everything being super matchy-matchy so if the sheets are solid or a different butterfly pattern or a flower pattern I won't mind. I just know I want it to be multi-colored pastels and have butterflies. Once I decided that, butterflies appeared out of nowhere!

My mother brought these mini orange ceramic butterflies as a gift to me from one of her travels so these will be hung up somewhere (I know they're not pastel but they're going up!).


When I was at the dollar store the other day and I found these cute wall decals,

this butterfly stamp

and this wooden butterfly.


Then at CVS I found these mini lanterns:


And when I was going through my clutter I discovered I had these stencils!


I can't wait to get started decorating! Here's the room currently as a den (excuse the wires!). It's currently pale yellow but I tested it and it's lead paint so it will need to be repainted. I have some lavender paint that I could use or I could get something else. I kind of like it the color that it is but right now I am open to anything.. well, anything but pink. I'm already overwhelmed by all the pink girl clothes! LOL

Any suggestions on furniture/mini lanterns placement, paint color, window treatments, what/where to stencil or anything else?

Yikes!

This is scary! Parents beware!

Baby's pic used in
adoption scam

Child's photo used in Craigslist
adoption scam

Updated: Monday, 03 Aug 2009, 5:46 PM EDT
Published : Sunday, 02 Aug 2009, 10:39 PM EDT

• Shirley Chan

ABINGTON, Mass. - An Abington mother says she found a picture of her baby boy online in an advertisement saying the child was available for adoption.

The ad was posted on Craigslist saying: “A CUTE BABY BOY FOR ADOPTION HE IS VERY HEALTHY AND READY FOR ADOPTION FOR MORE YOU COME BACK TO US.”

( SEE THE AD )

Jenni Brennan was told by a stranger that a picture of Brennan’s 7-month-old Jake was used as the “boy for adoption” in the online scam.

So Brennan tried responding to the ad herself, and sure enough, an e-mail was sent to her using her son’s picture, describing him as a child born in Canada, but now living in an orphanage in the African nation of Cameroon.

The scammers didn’t bother to cover up their tracks either. Inside of the e-mail, Brennan could easily see that the photo was taken from her family blog.

“Our intent was just for family and friends to be able to know what’s going on in our lives,” she said.

“I know he wasn’t being physically harmed and no one was going to come to our door and try to take him, but I felt like his likeness was being violated,” she said.

Brennan contacted the FBI and the attorney general’s office. Yahoo! shut down the e-mail addresses used in the scam.

“I would think this is happening to a lot of people. They just don’t know it,” Brennan said.

Brennan also placed privacy settings on her blog.

Click here to read Fox News article

Becca

My friend Becca (and her kids) were in the area visiting family. I hadn't seen her since I visited her in Senegal in 2007! Here are some pictures of that amazing trip two years ago.

When I was there in 2007 she only had one child but now she also has a beautiful daughter. Her daughter, 22 months, is so smart and so funny -- and so much fun to be around! What a great age! Becca is single teacher like me but in Dakar she can afford a driver, a housekeeper, and a live-in cook/nanny. ( My single friend in Ethiopia also has a live in nanny and both of them say they can't imagine living in the States where everything is expensive and having to do it all... working full time plus cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc.. My sentiments exactly...I'm just sayin'!)

I went to visit her family and meet her little girl. Look at this little cutie!