Readoption Hearing

Today we took the the Metro downtown to DC Family Court for Almi's readoption status hearing. It's a formality to check on the status of her readoption. Her adoption was finalized in Ethiopia but in order to get her certificate of citzenship, US birth certificate and passport, she has to be readopted in the United States. Currently she has an Ethiopian passport, a green card and is here on an IR-4 Visa. To do the readoption, I had to hire an attorney, get fingerprinted from everywhere I have lived or worked in the past ten years and redo our medicals. Today's hearing was just to let the judge know where we were in the process. We are still waiting on fingerprints from two states but as soon as those are in we will be good to go.

I don't get why if the FBI prints indicate I am a law-abiding citizen that that doesn't suffice, though. And, hello?! I am a teacher so clearly I have been scrutinized up the ying yang. And wouldn't the FBI know if I was a criminal in a particular state? My federal prints say I am fine but I still have to wait for the individual states? Seems like they should know that. I'm all for making sure parents are good people (and frankly, they should fingerprint birth parents in the hospital before they can take their babies home) but it just seems like it should all be centralized somewhere and the FBI seems like the logical spot.

Anyway, Almi loves watching the trains as we drive to work in the mornings and she has asked me if we could go on a train so she was super, duper excited to ride on one this morning. She thought it was great, great fun! I wish I had gotten a picture of her on the train where she was happy. These shots were taken after we got off. She was so disappointed to get off and see the train go down the track. "Where da twain go, Mommy?"

I wore these cute summery Espadrilles with my outfit. Error in judgement. My feet were killing me when I got home! Why does fashion have to hurt? They may need to go in the Goodwill bag. But I digress..

We had thirty minutes to kill before heading inside so I let her run around in the grass to try and burn off some of her energy. She was chasing squirrels and playing with ants and running around like crazy and I was pouring down with sweat just sitting in the shade. It was so hot and humid!!! I know, I need to get used to it. I have two years of this type of weather ahead but hopefully when I am in it I will be sitting sipping icy drinks, beach side.

It was so hot, all I wanted to do was sit and relax and try to prepare myself mentally for meeting with the judge about our finalization process, not chase her away from the dead bird! I tried to settle her down by reading one of her favorite books. Ha! That only only lasted about 2 pages before was off and running again.

You can kind of see in these next photos how hyped up and full of energy she was. I should have known I was going to be in for it in the judge's chambers.

The hearing lasted for about twenty minutes, thank God, because trust me when I tell you she let her full energetic and bubbly personality known to everyone! They marveled at how I can teach Kindergarteners all day and then come home to her! LOL (Tell me about it!! That's why I'm getting a nanny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I could not get her to sit still. I threatened her (didn't work) and tried bribing her with ice cream (also didn't work). She was far too excited. Luckily, the judge was really nice and told me not to worry about her running around. After the hearing the judge told Almi she could come up and talk in her microphone. Almi loved that! She even sang her ABCs for everyone and impressed them with her intelligence. The judge said, "That's what happens when your mom is a Kindergarten teacher." :-D

As we exited the courtroom she took off running top speed and I had to have my attorney watch my purse and stroller while I took off running in my Espadrilles to find my two year old in the crowd. I found her, plopped her in the stroller and the minute we stepped out the door she burst into loud sobs telling me she was hungry! I guess she burned off every last breakfast calorie with all that excitement. Luckily, I had packed her lunch so she ate her sunflower nut butter on sprouted wheat bread sandwich and banana in her stroller before heading back to the Metro.

That wild behavior did not warrant ice cream for her so I dropped her off at daycare but trust and believe that after I dropped her off I then high tailed it to the Baskin-Robbins. She may not have earned ice cream but a double scoop was definitely in order for me!!

Now it's time for a nap!! Phew!

P.S. The adoption finalization is coming up very soon and my family is coming down to celebrate. Very soon my beautiful Ethiopian babe will officially be a US citizen!

Popsicles!

I have been meaning to do this and finally did even though we don't have popsicle molds. Oh, that would be a great birthday gift for her!

All I did was whip up a larger than normal smoothie for breakfast and pour it into ice molds.

My smoothie had:

1. a handful of frozen organic spinach leaves
2. about 1/2 cup of organic blueberries
3. about 4 tablespoons of probiotic smoothie from the Farmer's Market (milk based)
4. an apple, cored
5. about a cup of watermelon
6. banana

I blended that up for us to drink but it wasn't our favorite as a drink. They are hit or miss since I never follow a recipe, so I decided to freeze it instead. I poured it in the ice molds and then cut up straws to use as handles. They didn't stand up very well so when the smoothie started to freeze I set them upright. Meanwhile, I was cooking with coconut milk simultaneously and decided to add that to our drink. Suddenly we liked the drink so I added a few drops to the top of each popsicle and swirled it around before they froze.

Tasty! And honestly, much better than what you buy in the supermarket. If I can get my hands on some popsicle molds, I won't buy store bought popsicles ever again.

** edited ** I just saw on the internet you can put the juice into a little cup and stick in a popsicle stick or tongue depressor! Great idea. I have both of those in my classroom! I will try that way next!

Sidewalk Chalk and Sunflowers

Spring weekends, sidewalk chalk and sunflowers... ummm, except it was dandelions (but that didn't sound as nice!)

I love lazy afternoons relaxing and living in the moment(or for an hour between packing boxes!). I want to freeze moments like this forever, really relish them, because they are all too fleeting. We enjoyed some time in the front yard with sidewalk chalk and dandelions. I loved seeing the joy in her face when handed a brand new pack of fat, dusty sidewalk chalk.

She unwrapped the plastic carefully and chose the colors she wanted.

She tells me pink, yellow and blue are her favorite colors right now though you wouldn't know it. She will wear any color of clothing or hair accessory and she'll color with any colored crayons around. She grabbed a peach colored piece and began to draw squiggles on the pavement as I soaked up the morning sun.

She was happy with her creations but she had just as much fun (or more) getting layers of chalk dust all over her fingers.



After drawing with chalk it was time to do one of her other favorite activities: searching for dandelions.

Fortunately (for her) they are plentiful.

We had lots of fun hanging out together. I am so looking forward to doing more of this when my time is freed up next year. She's only going to be little for a short while longer, she is growing up sooo fast! I can't wait to do more art projects and take hikes and explore our new country and cook and read and do puzzles together and go to the beach and learn new things together. I want to learn how to photograph my daughter so her inner beauty shines through. I want to have the time to plan big celebrations on the day of her birth and to make all holidays full of crafts and special foods. I want to make many, many days of great memories!! But this day was fun, too, and even if it's something as simple as drawing pictures on the sidewalk I will now remember it because it is recorded here. Each day of life should be special in some small way.

Happy Memorial Day everyone. However you celebrate it, I hope it's happy.

Weekly Menu

After breaking out in a rash on my arms last week, I have tried to eat more home cooked meals, do some restorative deep breathing and take some time for some fun amidst all the chaos and stress that is my life right now. All this stress is taking a toll on my physically, not to mention I am gaining weight! The rash is still there but it seems to be clearing up. I'm just grateful it was contained to one area and not terribly obvious. What a wake up call.

We went to the Farmer's Market again today. I think we will go every weekend until I leave. Aside from the wonderful produce, I like chatting with the farmers and I always run into someone I know! This trip we picked up two heads of lettuce, some mint, a loaf of sourdough, a banana muffin (we ate it there), and 4 Snickerdoodles. I also bought some iced tea and a grass-fed burger for lunch. I plan to make some tea with the mint and eat salad every meal until I use up all the lettuce. I may make some croutons out of some of the sourdough.

Menu:
1. Monday is a holiday so we may go to a BBQ or we'll eat leftovers and fruit
2. Salad and spaghetti
3. Salad and hamburgers on the George Foreman
4. Tunafish salad
5. Salad and veggie burgers on the GF grill

We went to a BBQ on Saturday night and I had so much fun. I hardly get out anymore and miss it! I told the hostess that I'd love to come but I didn't have a sitter. She told me to come and bring Almi so I did. I kept her out a bit too late but I needed some time with friends and my miniature social butterfly had a great time. Here are a couple of pics from the night.

Man, do I miss going out!! I kind of forgot how much fun it is (ok, not really). It was just really great to spend time with friends I have known for such a long time. I am going to miss them! And it was really nice to hear what kind things people were saying about me and my daughter! Compliments about Almi included:

She is so independent
She is so mature
She is so adorable

The things said to me were a bit overwhelming. I felt like I was at my wedding or something the way people were being so complimentary. I don't know why I am posting them but I guess I don't hear such nice things very often. It's amazing how far kind words can go in making someone's day. Those wonderful people were saying sweet things like:

You are beautiful
You have a great body
(I mention these because I have felt anything but beautiful and in good shape lately. In fact, I have spent a lot of time lately focusing on my shortcomings and flaws. They were really nice to hear even if they were said to question why I don't have a man. LOL But seriously, it was nice to hear them from women because coming from a man you kind of roll your eyes and wonder what their motives are; coming from females they just seem sincere. And yeah, why don't I have a man?! Who knows! I think he is across the ocean waiting for me to arrive. But I digress. Back to the compliments).
Then one friend went on to say that she was impressed by me and that she "worships me". Seriously. She said she is so full of admiration for me because I go out and do what I say I am going to do and get what I want out of life. She said each time she heard I was going after a new job or moving or buying property she was impressed. But now, she says, it's on another level with having adopted and now moving overseas.

I don't mention these things to brag or draw attention to myself. I am simply putting them down in print to remind myself that I should continue striving to live the life I want to live, to go for the goals I have set, to be proud of what I have accomplished thus far and to look at my future as being positive and bright. I have a decent amount of self esteem and confidence in my decisions, but honestly it really felt good to not only have the compliments heaped upon me last night but to have the decisions I have made affirmed by people whose opinions matter. Hearing that they are impressed with what we are doing has given me the extra push I so desperately need right now to look at this overwhelming and stressful time in the most positive of ways. We are down to the final stretch of this move and I still have an incredible amount of things to do in a very, very short time. I know there is a beautiful, bright light at the end of this tunnel but right now I can't see it. I know it's there so that is keeping me going but the details are heaped so high that it is blocked. June is going to be really, really crazy busy with the school year ending and Almi's birthday along with me needing to wrap up some very important details like her readoption, getting the house rented and getting our stuff shipped. I know I can do it, but all positive thoughts are welcomed!

Ok, I must get back to work! I hope you are having a wonderful holiday weekend.

Happy Blogiversary

Happy Blogiversary, Journey to Motherhood! My blog is four years old today! I never could have imagined that blogging would bring me so much joy and support. I have learned so much from the blogosphere and have become friends with people I never would have otherwise. Thanks for reading along with us! L&N

More Dancing

She turned on her radio when I was in the shower. When she heard me turn off the water, she ran in the bathroom and asked me to come in her room and dance with her. That early morning dancing brought a smile to my face. Good idea, Pumpkin!



(excuse the mess--sold her dresser and now the stuff is on the floor!)

She does this funny little dance every time I put her in a dress and usually when she gets undressed for a bath. I think she likes to see her dress and her belly flop around. It cracks me up! I was so happy to catch her doing it when I had my camera.

Weekly Menu and Updates

We are so overdue for menu planning. Things are so hectic over here that I have resorted to pizza from the local pizzeria far too often. At $6 for a small with a topping, it is quite the easy choice when I am feeling lazy but the result is we both are feeling like crap.

Almi stayed overnight on Friday night with one of my colleagues so I could prepare for and run the yard sale without her getting underfoot. She had never met her before but when I told her she was going to go play with her doggie and go to the park she was totally fine with it. When I told her she was going to sleep there she said, "No! I want sleep Mommy's bed!" but when the time came for her to get in my friend's car, she said "Bye Mommy" and hopped in her car. I love that she doesn't have separation anxiety but of course as an adoptive parent it worries me that she has some sort of attachment issues. What kind of toddler does that? Or maybe she's securely attached knowing she'll see me in the morning and is just social and loves the diversion.

She stayed over night there and then another friend took her after the yard sale for a couple of hours. Between the random foods with them and my lax behavior regarding meals we are both suffering from the results. She is congested and sneezing and super duper energetic and I am sore and tired and have inflammation and headaches. (Ugh- hot dogs, soda and Dorit0s. What am I thinking?!) The stress of everything is surely factoring in as well so I need to do my part and have us eating and sleeping properly. Would you look at that nose? I knew she was awake this morning because the first thing she said was, "Mommy! My nose running!" Poor thing. Thankfully, our new hot water heater was installed yesterday. One good nose blowing and hot bath later and she looked as good as new. Now back to healing her (and me) on the inside. Today we paid a visit to our local Farmer's Market. We shared a Goldrush apple. Have you tasted that variety? I had never heard of it. Very crisp and a tad tart, just the way I like 'em. We also each had a blueberry muffin sold by a local elementary school raising money for their trip to Quebec. They were yummy!! We were going to share one but I had to buy one for myself. After the last delicious morsel was consumed I reminded myself I was really there to buy some local, organic produce and meats from local farmers. Here is what I picked up:

Yes, that small, young pastured chicken cost over $15.00! So expensive, but I made some chicken last week and neither of us liked it. I am curious to see if this one tastes better, not to mention eating factory-produced chickens grosses me out if I think about it too long. I will compensate by eating less or skipping meals when I am not hungry. I think eating when she is eating if I am not hungry is totally unnecessary and I recall when I was eating real foods and no grains I wasn't hungry as often anyways. Gonna try to get back to that.

Menu plan
I love salads and Almi likes them too so they are being featured in our menu this week.

Baked chicken (bbq? curried?) and veggies
Baked fish , yams and salad
B.A.S. (salad) -- Check out Mark's Daily Apple for salad ideas
Pan-fried grass fed beef strips and leftover yams
B.A.S. and leftovers

And the yard sale? I made $262. Not bad. It's $261 more than I made at my last yard sale, and this is without selling any furniture and with not hanging up any signs until the about 11:00! I may decide that it's easier to just go ahead and rent my house furnished which would mean I wouldn't have to worry about selling furniture and it would keep us comfortable until our departure. We'll see. So much to think about!!

I Need Your Help! Please Advise!

Ok, I am turning to the blogosphere because I am way too stressed to try to figure this out and it's not coming to me easily.

Do I resign from my job or take a leave of absence?

Option A - resign

1. I have until July 15th to let them know.
2. I give up my tenure and position.
3. I have to find insurance coverage from July 15-July 25 when my new insurance kicks in.
4. I'd have to reapply when I return and due to budget constraints, there may not be any openings.

Option B - take a leave of absence

1. I have to tell them on Monday.
2. My insurance will be available until the end of any month I state (so for me, July 31)
3. My tenure will remain intact.
4. When I return to the district, a position at my current school is not guaranteed, but a position in my certification area is and I will be at the top of the hiring pool and get priority.

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Not so much.

I must factor in Almi's readoption. I am still waiting for some fingerprints to come back and then there's the issue of her missing adoption paperwork. My attorney said I am only the second client in 20 years that he has worked with who had lost the paperwork. He said everything should be fine and the readoption should be completed before I leave.

That makes me nervous. There is a small possibility that it won't be completed and I will have to renege on my contract. If that happens, here is what happens with options A and B.

Option A - resign

I won't have to resign until July 15th. I will know by then if things went through or not. If they don't, then I won't resign and I will return to my great school and Almi can return to the daycare that she knows and loves.

Option B - take a leave of absence

Since I would have informed them of this on May 23, my position at my current school will be filled and I will go into the pool with all the other transfer applicants and have to find a new job. My school district is big and I could end up with a very long commute. I would try to keep her in her current daycare but that may not be possible. I could end up with an expensive daycare situation and teaching any grade up to grade 8 due to my certification even though I teach Kindergaten now.

Having to reneg on my contract would be bad enough. My new school will be angry, my new nanny will be out of a job, I will likely have to repay them for the $4000 plane tickets they purchased, etc. but I could also have a very stressful commute, a new grade level and expensive daycare near my new place of employment.

Suddenly, the leave of absence isn't looking so appealing.

What would you do??? Please help! Option A or B?

Money in, Money Out

My hot water heater died. Over a week ago. The pilot light won't stay lit. Boiling water to wash dishes and take baths is really getting old. I feel like a pioneer woman and I'm not feeling it! I want my modern lifestyle convenience back. But a new tank is going to cost me $1000! A 30-gallon tank isn't all that expensive but the installation, removal and required code upgrades are. Man, this is such bad timing!!

But, on the flip side something amazing happened. I was stressing out about paying daycare last week. With all these extra costs for readoption and moving, my (non-existent) budget is being stretched really thin. I was wondering how I was going to pay them $295 last week. I put it out there that I needed some money to come through and then I got this in the mail:


Can you read it? Click on it to enlarge (and ignore the scribbles that a cute toddler added). Yup, it's an escrow surplus check in the amount of $282.59. This check arrived the day before the daycare payment was due giving me time to deposit and have it clear before theirs did. I kid you not. Amazing, I tell you. It was a mere $2.41 shy of what I needed and I certainly had that.

Now I need to do really well on the yard sale tomorrow because I want to make more than the I have to pay for the hot water heater! Wish me luck, say some prayers and put out there to the Universe because my last yard sale wasn't very successful!!!!

First Interview

I have no business blogging!! I still have so much to do: tax stuff, insurance stuff, document stuff, packing stuff, readoption stuff, yard sale stuff...... ACK! But I read somewhere about doing interviews with your children to record who they are in a point in time. I loved the idea and I thought it would be fun to interview Almi to hear what she has to say. She has just learned to answer questions with more than a yes or a no and it is so fun. Her developing language means I am able to learn so much about what goes on during her day and what makes her tick. (It's also helping me plan her birthday party. I keep asking her over and over what her favorite color is and her favorite animal so if I have time I can put together a theme party with things she likes. Wish me luck on finding the time to do that!)
Anywho, here's the interview. I wished I had videotaped it. Next time. Ok, the interview:

Mommy: What's your name?
Almi: Ay-no-mi
M: How old are you?
A: two
M: What's your favorite color?
A: pink
M: What's your favorite animal?
A: cat
M: Who's your favorite friend?
A: Mommy
M: What's your favorite drink?
A: Mook (milk - rhymes with book)
M: What's your favorite food?
A: happy
M: But what is your favorite thing to eat?
A: pizza
M: What's your favorite movie?
A: My movies (this means cartoons)
M: What's your favorite thing to wear?
A: doggie (don't think she understood that question - LOL)
M: What's your favorite thing to touch that you are not supposed to touch?
A: silence
M: remote? camera? phone?
A: Mommy's camera
M: What do you like more? Cold water or hot water?
A: warm
M: What's your favorite shape?
A: Mommy
M: Do you like oval? circle? triangle? square? diamond? rectangle?
A: diamond
M: What's your favorite number? 1? 2? 3?
A: 1
M: What's your favorite fruit?
A: applesauce
M: What's your favorite meat?
A: she shook her head no and didn't respond
M: What do you like better- hugs or kisses?
A: kisses
M: What's your favorite book?
A: Mommy
M: What song do you like to sing?
A: Mommy
M: Do you like ABCD? Twinkle Twinkle? Happy Birthday? Ring Around the Rosie? Where is Thumpkin? Rock-a-Bye Baby? Baa Baa Black Sheep?
A: Happy Birthday Pumpkin
M: What name do you like Mommy to call you? Almi? Naomi? Pumpkin? Baby? Mama?
A: Baby
and finally...
M: Which do you like more - going to bed or time outs?
A: total silence and stared at me confused (I laughed)

That was fun! I am going to do it again in a couple of months and see how the answers have changed. And I got some tips for her party to boot! A pink cake and a cat theme! Fun!!
Dang she looks big here!

Life Awaits

Does this happen to you: great things happen while other great things are happening? And equally, shitty things pile on top of other shitty things. Maybe it's just with me. Or maybe it's certain energy and vibrations are put out into the universe that bring back more of the same. Problem is you need the good things when things are at their worst but it doesn't often happen to work out that way. It was when things were at their worst that I sought out an overseas position.

Five years ago I returned to the DC area and started a teaching job in a swanky private school. I hated it. My colleagues were awful, the administration unsupportive. I tried to quit mid-year but they begged me to stay. I left there and worked the next year and a half at another private school. This one wasn't much better. Quit there as well. I returned to public schools chalking up my negative experiences to the culture of private schools and the types of people who choose to work in those settings. To a point I still believe that to be the case. If you only want to teach a certain demographic then it's not surprising that you wouldn't befriend coworkers who don't also fit into that demographic. Thing was, when I returned to public schools I found myself hating that job as well. Five years of three different schools where I had to drag myself into work really wore me down. It also had me questioning if actually it was me since I was the common denominator.

But thankfully, I now know that was not the case. I am now in my fourth school in six years and I love it! The people are all so friendly and considerate and helpful. My teammates and I get along famously and the administration is supportive. For the first time in almost six years I am happy to go to work. It's convenient, my daughter is happy at the daycare, the facilities are nice and new and clean, it's safe, my principal respects me and leaves me alone, my input is respected and my students are doing amazing things. My sweet colleagues offer to babysit Almi, I get regular bags of hand-me-downs, heck, I even made the cut and got invited to a colleague's small wedding. The people are caring and considerate; funny and real. I am forming friendships with people I believe will become lifelong friends. I can honestly say that for the first time in fifteen years I am working at a place where I could see myself remaining indefinitely.

But the overseas job offer came when I didn't know how wonderful this new place was going to be. I applied when I was new to the school and still very overwhelmed with parenting and needing help so I accepted. The school year ends in 5 weeks (that's 24 days but who's counting?) and I will be leaving what I now consider to be an almost ideal teaching situation. Well, ideal except for the money. With the salary they pay me I am struggling to keep my head above water. Ok, who am I kidding? My head went under the day I agreed to the paycut.

If you don't know, when I took this teaching position three years ago I was desperate for a job so I could complete my adoption. I had resigned to go overseas in 2008 but my adoption agency wouldn't allow it so I reneged on my overseas contract and remained in the US to complete the adoption. Problem was I had already quit that awful private school job I had and it took me seven months to find another job. When my current district offered me a position I took it even though they they wouldn't recognize the years I taught in other schools. This essentially amounted to a $20,000 pay cut. Unfortunately, I was in no position to negotiate and as wrong as it was, I had no better options so I accepted. Thing is, it is not enough money; I haven't been able to get ahead. I cut my expenses way down and was managing pretty well but then I adopted my child, and well, I never fully recovered. In fact, I am at the point where I have to rob Peter to pay Paul. This, coupled with how difficult single parenting can be, drove me to find a job where I could afford a nanny and save some money. I had no idea that when that finally came to fruition I would be in the position I am now of being happy in my job. No (teaching) job is perfect but this one is pretty darn close.

Why, I find myself wondering, did it work out that I have to leave this job? It couldn't get out of my previous three positions fast enough! Did something great come about because I am finally happy? Do I now have a nanny waiting for me to arrive overseas now that my local village is growing? Most of this past year I felt completely alone. I was struggling and it seemed no one wanted to step in to help. I suffered tremendously as I adjusted to parenting. Some days I didn't think I was going to make it. I was hanging on by a very, very thin thread. But now my village here is growing. I have formed friendships with other Ethiopian adoptive families, and they are becoming an extended family of sorts. We single Ethiopian adoptive mamas bond so quickly with our unique family experience and it's just now that everyone's children are coming home. In the next few months some close friends will be traveling to pick up their babies. Why is it that just as their kids are arriving that I am leaving? I am going to miss getting to know these sweet babies and having Almi grow up with them. Why is it that I am set to leave just as all of these things are falling into place?

And then there's Ms. E, Almi's teacher. She is truly wonderful. A total gem. Not only does she babysit Almi for free (she refuses money!) but when Almi is there she is treated like a daughter. Almi loves going there and it gives Ms. E some baby girl loving time as she waits to create her own family. She really, really loves Almi. How can I replace that? Will any of the teachers in her future feel that much love for my daughter? This situation is unique and a true blessing. How could I have predicted this when I applied for a new job?

There are other reasons as well. My house is coming together, my basement is ready for a renter, my neighbors are really nice, all the Ethiopians in this area... I could go on and on... So why leave? Well, other than the money and the nanny (which I repeat are huge and necessary benefits) there's more. There is growth and authenticity waiting for me. In my opinion, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is the best way to experience growth and it's healthy. Actually doing the things you dream about (or at least working towards them) instead of always dreaming about them can be scary but at least you feel like you are doing what you are meant to do. And what if they pan out?

Listen, if you want to be a full time writer then try hard to make that happen. If you want to work from home then make that happen. If you want to live in Hawaii instead of Kansas then make that happen! Almost anything can be done if we put our minds to it. I dream of being a singer, owning a beach house, being an artist, being happily married, owning a dog, being a journalist, being a movie star, having more children, volunteering in Darfur, being financially secure, living abroad, being bilingual, doing another marathon, having a perfect body... I'll stop there cause clearly I have a lot of dreams and, no, I probably won't fulfill them all... but what I have learned is that some of them can be realized so I should go for it. To me that's the key to living authentically and happily. If I stay put how many of those dreams will come true? Maybe some, but thing is do I want to look back at my life and see I stayed where it was safe and easy? Do I want to live a predictable life or do I want to shake things up? Do I want to do the same old thing or do I want to be surprised and amazed and inspired? Do I want to retire from this school or do I want to look back and see that I lived in Asia, Africa, Europe or the Middle East? My school district is not a bad place to retire from, I suppose, but working here won't afford me the same opportunities that leaving will.

Moving abroad means I will get to travel to places I otherwise would probably never see. Moving abroad means I will be immersed in another culture which will broaden my world view. Moving abroad means I will have time to do things that as a single parent in the States are extremely difficult or impossible for me (tennis lessons, writing a book, going on dates, spending time with friends, regular hair&nail appointments, etc.) But most importantly moving means that I will be able to live more authentically and this is what is truly exciting. I will have time to create art; I will have time to devote to (new) friends; I will have time to parent the way I want; I will be rested and eat well and have time for physical activity; I can spend my weekends outdoors having fun & living life--not cleaning and running errands. And I can find people who are like me-- people who want to see this great, big fascinating world we live in first hand and not just read about it in books; people who find new foods and experiences exciting; people who are flexible and adaptable and adventurous; people who want to get out and live life and try new things. Here I find it hard to even find that person within myself.


Simply put, I want a remarkable life. I always wanted to adopt a child and somehow, by the grace of God, I did it. I am extremely proud of that. No one in my family had ever adopted so I had no model or guidance but I figured out how to do it. Now I want to experience living overseas. My parents have lived overseas (I have lived overseas with them) but they had each other to manage the details. I am doing this alone.

Let me tell you, moving overseas is very, very overwhelming but if I can make it through an international adoption and single parenting I know I can manage this. I am already missing home deep down (or not so deep down) but I remind myself that I really, really want to do this and more importantly, that I really need to do this. It's is another dream to fulfill. Something else to check off on my bucket list. And in this day and age why wouldn't I want to float in the Dead Sea, climb The Great Wall, visit Machu Picchu or safari in the Masai Mara if I am able? I remind myself I am lucky to have this opportunity. Not everyone is so fortunate; I should take advantage of it and be grateful. And I also remind myself that all this will be here if want to slip back into my old life. The school system will be here; my house will be here; most of my friends will probably still be living here. I can come back at any time, so why not go? And what an exciting life story this will make. What I know for sure is I don't want to be 95 in my rocking chair wondering why I stayed in DC for 50 years.

So, off we go. Off for an adventure! I'm sure there will be days ahead when I wonder why I left my tenured position, my cute house and all my friends & family but I believe what we'll be getting in return will be life changing, awe-inspiring, rewarding and incredibly enriching. I'm ready for the challenge, ready for the dream, ready for Asia!!

Update

Thanks for all the what to do with the blog input. I will continue to blog as I love writing and recording our lives together but still not sure how. Will I go private? Possibly. I tried Wordpress in the past and wasn't a fan. It was too complicated for me, but if someone could help me figure it out and personalize it like I want, I will probably use it so some posts could be protected. But I still don't know. All I do know is I am waaaay too busy to think about my blog direction right now, so for now I will continue posting as usual.

To give you an idea of how crazed my days are, listen to what I did Friday on my day off. Check out this productivity:

1. Woke up, got Almi dressed and fed. Took a shower and dropped her at daycare.
2. Went to CVS and picked up a gift card for Almi's teacher for Teacher Appreciation Week.
3. Went to first doctor's appt. He ruled out the big C! YAY!! In fact, he said that based on all my recent testing he has no diagnosis and no reason to have any concerns and I can feel comfortable and confident about traveling abroad with no concerns about my health.
4. Went to second doctor's appointment (mammogram... ouch!!)
5. Went to another CVS to find a card for teacher.
6. Dropped off gift card at school and Xeroxed my FBI prints for readoption.
7. Went to post office and mailed off check and FBI prints to homestudy agency.
8. Went to bank to deposit checks.
9. Ordered my graduate school transcripts for my new job.
10. Went to the Apple store to get a new keyboard for my computer and purchased a back up hard drive for all my data.
11. Went to the optometrist and ordered new glasses and sunglasses.
12. And made it back to the daycare at 5:59, one minute to spare!!

In other news I tried a hairstyle.

Cute, huh? Too bad more than half the rubber bands broke before I could even drop her off at daycare! Oh well, it was cute for an hour.

Mother's Day

First, can I just say that I can't believe this is my second Mother's Day already!! Time is flying! I couldn't remember what were we doing last year so I had to go search for some photos to see.
Oh yes, that's right. We spent it with my own mother.

My poor Pumpkin was just getting over croup. And I had only been a parent for a couple of months. Both of us were exhausted and out of sorts.



This year was so different! I am in a groove. My girl is healthy and happy. Although I didn't get up to visit my mom this year, it was still very enjoyable. Love you, Mom!! You are the best! You stay with us in our hearts, always. Your love and guidance and affection for me make it so easy to love my girl the right way so thank you!

Mother's Day 2011 was nice and low key. Becoming a mother was such a long time coming and it's such a joy to be included! I loved all the kind words expressed to me today, even from strangers. So nice to be recognized for simply being a mom! When Almi woke up this morning she wanted to get in bed with me and watch movies. While she was there we had our first real adoption conversation. She has heard about Ethiopia before because we include it in our prayers at night and I have told her before that she has a mommy in Ethiopia but I figured today was a good day to bring it up again. While she was lying next to me I reminded her that she has two mommies, one in Ethiopia and one here. She said, "Two mommies. One, two, three, four. One mommy!" I said, "Well, you have the mommy in Ethiopia who carried you in her belly but she couldn't take care of you anymore so I took a long plane ride to go get you so I could be your mommy." (I am not sure if that was the right thing to say so I may not use that phrase next time--she couldn't take care of you--I don't want to upset her with that fact. Note to self: read up on how to broach the adoption conversation with a toddler before bringing it up next time..). She made an airplane with her hand and some airplane sounds and asked me to join her. We flew airplanes around above us as we laid next to each other for the next minute or so. Then I continued, "So then I got on the airplane and I went to Ethiopia to get you so I could be your mommy!" What she did next astounded me. She said, "Look, Mommy! Diamond," and she showed me how she could make a diamond shape with her two hands together. Her birth name is Almaz, which means diamond! I don't know how she went from making an airplane to making a diamond but what an incredible thing to happen at that particular moment!

Later on we met my neighbor downtown at an outdoor Italian festival. The weather was gorgeous and Almi had a ton of fun playing and dancing with her friend, T. A low key, fun day, just spending time with my special girl.

What to do With the Blog?

When I first started blogging I sent the link to a bunch of people just so I could feel like I had an audience. Being very transparent about my life in person, it didn't bother me one bit that all the details of my journey to motherhood were going to be read by all my friends and family. Mostly this blog was started for me and my daughter to record our lives as I waited for her and our lives together as a new family. I love it for that reason. What a treasure this will be for the years to come! (The most detailed baby book ever). But then years passed and the posts got more personal and the blog was no longer about the journey. I started to feel like I couldn't write everything down I wanted to say. Suddenly, I was feeling like I had to censor myself and forgo great post topics in an effort to retain some semblance of privacy amongst friends and family-- yet, at the same time I wanted to get feedback from my unknown followers! Being transparent to strangers is, of course, a lot easier.

However, though some friends and family do read, the bulk of my readers are complete strangers. So then there is the other dilemma of blogging for strangers: I can't post just anything. And those are the times that I wish I blogged privately for family. It's such a Catch 22. I want to post publicly and I want to post privately!! Clearly (in Blogger) I can't have it both ways.

Thing is, I have truly enjoyed blogging over the past four years. Yes, four years! I can't believe it but my blogiversary is May 29th! I never could have imagined that blogging would become such an important part of my life. I truly love it and have met some great people and gotten great advice through the blogosphere. It has been a great outlet for me as well and I have learned so much from the single parent, adoption and Ethiopian communities. Thank you all so much! The comments are usually so supportive and often validate for me that I am doing OK as a new mom. That has been priceless.

However, since we are about to move abroad and since this is no longer really a blog about adoption, I think this may be a good point at which to either go private or to start a new (non-adoption) blog. Possibly I would continue blogging openly but without our identities known. Or maybe that's not necessary? I could just continue blogging as I do now and not worry about it. I am really not sure what to do. I have fewer than 100 readers a day and I'd say I average about three comments per post so it probably wouldn't matter one way or another, but I am curious about your thoughts on the matter. Should I start a new blog on just our lives together? Should it be public? Private? More anonymous?

Sorry, I am too busy to figure this out right now by myself. Can I enlist your help while I take a very necessary blogging break to focus all my attention on packing and other hundreds of moving details? Please tell me, dear readers, does it matter to you one way or another? Would going private impact me, or possibly you, negatively? Thanks so much for your input! You are the best!

((((hugs))))

L & N

Show and Tell Day

Every Friday Almi has Show and Tell. I wish I could be there to hear what she shares! Last week she was so excited to bring her "piddow" to school. It was too cute and funny to tell her no.





I cracked up when I saw her holding him in her carseat. Silly girl!