First Day of School

Yeah, technically it's still daycare but she will be there all year and it is more academic and structured ( and less play and fewer art projects and fewer performances and fun activities... sniff). I would be happy if all they did was talk to her all day and let her play, play, play. Play in the sand and water table, play with Play Dough, play with dinosaurs and math manipulatives, play on the playground and do art and cooking and sing. That's all I want for my pumpkin. Learning the ABCs? Writing her name? At two? I am not a fan. I can do that stuff with her on my own and at the pace that I feel is developmentally and Naomi-appropriate. She's so smart I predict she is going to pick it all up and be on grade level when she enters Kindergarten. I wish she could just have fun until then. Keeping my fingers crossed that she finds what they teach her fun.

I dropped her off at 7am. She was one of the first to arrive and the last to be picked up at 5:55. They are open til 6pm but when I got there they had the lights off and their purses slung over their shoulders and were annoyed with me for arriving at that time. I think they should be playing with her and engaging with her until 6pm. They never would have done that at the old place and even though they also closed at 6, she was never the last to be picked up. They better get used to the fact that she won't be picked up til 6 two or three days a week. I'm paying til 6pm and you need to have the lights on and be attending to my child and get yourself ready to go after she walks out the door. I can't imagine what my principal would say to me if I had the lights off at 3:25 with my purse slung over my shoulder waiting for the kids to hurry up and leave my classroom. It was truly appauling. Not a good first day impression at all. But, she is right down the hall and I was able to peek in on her during my lunch time. She was sitting at her little table eating the little lunch I packed her like a big girl. I wanted to cry. She looked so sweet there, I just wanted to scoop her up and take her home. Man, I love that little girl!!!

Here are some pics from the first day of school.. taken when we got home. Getting my school stuff together and two lunches and two people dressed and her sippy cup of rice milk and her breakfast and my coffee and my water bottle and her Pull Ups and wipes and change of clothes and stuffed doggie were enough to worry about!! There is no way I could have also factored in a morning photo and still gotten to work at 7am. Getting both of us out the door is really, really challenging!!!


And saying, "hi" to all the neighborhood doggies. Of course.

Earrings

For the past couple of days, Almi has been wanting to try on my earrings. Since I have pierced ears and she can't try them on, I found an old hair accessory that she can put on her ear and pretend to have on earrings (well, one earring). She loves it!! I wasn't sure about piercing her ears at this age. I figure it's better to pierce ears as babies but since I didn't meet her til she was 19 months I planned to wait until she was older but so much for that. Decision made. She has made her wishes known!

August Photos - take II

Better!! ...until throwing grass and playing with her headband became more fun :)

August Update: Six Months Home!!! ...And No Eggshells!

It was clearly too hot to try to get good August photos. (click to enlarge and see how sweaty she is)

Although she looks totally adorable here:


New Words:

MINE!!!
MY!!!
appoosaw (applesauce)
beh-wee (belly)
toe
hay (hair)
mow (mouth)
wa-oo (water)
seerill (cereal)
Melmo (Elmo)
Ah-nuh (Tatiana, her friend and my Goddaughter)
lieeyah/li-ee (light)
neigh (for horse and the sound they make)
buh-ee (bunny)
cat
woun (around)
low (loud)
appee (happy)
ba (bath)
ow-sie (outside)
pah-ee (potty)
baywe (bear)
shir (shirt)
see? (when she wants to see out the window)
key
shwirshwir (sticker)
yayaya (she says this when she wants me to turn on some music)
lello/yellow (this is her word for phone and usually she says it to remind me if i have it--if we are going up/downstairs or if we are leaving the house)

and some two and three word phrases:

soosee (excuse me--she says this when she burps and when she wants to get by!)
goo gull (good girl)
faw dow (fall down)
mo pea (more please)
yeeyo (here you go)
I doe no (I don't know) complete with arms bent off to the sides (cute!!)
derde mommy or derdah baby (I think she's saying there's my mommy or where's the baby)
dinda wah-oo (drink the water)
taya showah (take a shower)
goya pahee (go to potty)

Serious language explosion!! I know there are even more words that I am not getting down. Most of her new words she got from me and not from her time at daycare. I wonder if it's because of all the repetition I do and there are so many new ones with fewer exposures at daycare. I will be interested to see what happens in the fall. I'm not sure where she learning it all but I know this is the last month of word posts! Too many to write!!! I'm proud of my big girl!

Along with nose, eye, ear, toe, hands, belly, teeth and hair she now can identify:

foot
arm
knee
tongue

Stats: According to my scale she's 29.4 pounds. Doctor's appt. is coming up.

Other:

* She continues to be fearful of loud noises and strange sounds (sirens, ambulances, helicopters, airplanes, etc.) But she will also pretend to be afraid just to get a hug and a kiss.

* She is starting to show empathy. I love this. She will come and check on me and rub my back and ask me if I'm OK. "Ishy? Ishy?" I honestly don't know if this is the correct usage of that Amharic word anymore but we use it to to ask if someone (me, her, her baby) is OK. If I seem upset or if a plane goes by overhead and she's a bit upset about it she will come and check on me. She will also check on kids who are hurt or comfort her baby.

* She spontaneously kisses things she loves. Stuffed animals, bath toys, Mr. Bunny, books, her Elmo toothbrush, Mommy :)

* She spontaneously gives me hugs and says "I luh loo" a lot now! I was teaching her to respond to my "I love yous" with "I love you, Mommy." She now will do it from time to time unprompted! She can say "I luh loo" but with the extra word in there it becomes, "I luh Mommy." Man, that makes my heart melt!!!

* She fell off a chair and bumped her lip and it bled. Oh, how I hate to see her in pain!! But she is a tough little kid. She rarely cries when she falls or gets scrapes or bumps into things.

* She is refusing food now like a typical, picky toddler. She also seems to stop more often when she's full. She will eat and eat though just to be social (just like her mom) and she loves sweets.
According to my scale she hasn't gained much weight this month but she's still as thick and solid and as heavy as ever. We went out to dinner with a woman I met when I started the adoption process with Gladney and she brought her daughters to the dinner. Her younger daughter L. is three (she adopted her from Ethiopia when she was 19 months like I did). L is a year older than Almi and weighs a pound less! Her daughter was so delicate and feminine and I have the sumo wrestler kid! LOL I will most certainly be putting her into sports ASAP. She's big and she's strong and she has tons of energy. I think she will be really, really good. By the way, she loved the Ethiopian food. I need to figure out a quick way to make it cause it's way time consuming. I'm thinking a crock pot would be the best way!

* For over a month she has been going peepee in the potty!!! As long as her diaper is off and she's not wearing anything, she will go. She has even pooped in the potty three times! I bought her some big girl underpants but she still hasn't learned the concept that she's not supposed to go in them. Naked? No problem. Diaper? She will occasionally ask me to take it off so she can go in the potty and her diaper remains dry. Big girl underpants? Accidents 100% of the time. We have a ways to go but she is getting there! I am soo excited at the prospect of being done with diapers!* We can hang out together and just have fun together. We have little games we play, jokes we share and little inside jokes. I love it. She can be so much fun and she's barely talking. I look forward to more as she grows.

Other

* We have been together six months. Unbelievable!!! It was so unbelievably hard in the beginning and it's still hard but we are really starting to get into a groove. I liken our situation to the way Dustin Hoffman was in Kramer vs. Kramer. Remember that scene at the end of the movie where he can make French toast without getting eggshells in it? That is so me. In the beginning I was so all over the place with trying to figure things out and now I can do things so much more smoothly--without the eggshells. :)

* The hardest part I find is that I continue to lack balance. I can't find time to do anything that makes me feel whole and that is really difficult. I am enjoying motherhood but it's practically all I do now. That and cleaning. :-/ It's as if a part of me died when I became a mother and I miss her. In my prior life I had hobbies that I don't have time to devote to anymore. I find this very hard. If I can swing it financially I plan to hire a babysitter 1-2 times a week in the fall. Wednesday nights to meet friends out for happy hour or dinner, Saturday night for dates and/or Saturday afternoons to do whatever I wish. If I can find time for myself I know I will enjoy parenting even more. I am more than just a mother but for now that's how I am defined. I strive for wholeness and I am pretty sure I will be pretty balanced by the end of the year. Bottom line: the happier I am, the better parent I will be.

* Which brings me to my next point: I am finally starting to feel like a mother! I'd say it's at about 90%. I still look at her and can't believe she's my daughter. Sometimes when she's acting up I wonder to myself if she would be doing that if she were with me since birth. Sometimes I am astounded by her beauty and I think I see myself in her but then I remember that her features--her eyes especially-- are unique to her heritage and I am reminded about the adoptor/adoptee dynamic. I don't like feeling this way but it's real. At this point she was still at home with her birth mother longer than she's been with me. She was in care for about an equal time. When her time with me exceeds the time without me I bet I will feel more like a mom and less like an "adoptive" mom. She, meanwhile, has gotten very attached and can be quite possessive. When friends get too close she clings to me and says, "Mine mommy!" She is always telling people who I am too. She pats me on the shoulder as she looks them in the eye and says, "Mommy" or sometime cute like "Assa Mommy." It's too cute and I love how she is understanding that a mom cares for you and loves you and she wants everyone to know that I am already spoken for. :)

Going back to work was hard. As you know the daycare wasn't open on time and at the 11th hour I had to hire someone to watch her. The babysitter is Eritrean and was speaking to her in Amharic and Almi seemed to understand what she was saying! For a last minute find (thanks, Tami!) she really worked out well. She even cooked for me! Oh, if she weren't twice the cost of my daycare I might try to figure out how to keep her. The new daycare is supposed to open on Aug.30th. We'll see. I did take a peek in it and it's so cute! She is going to love all the toys and books and the sand&water table. The daycare is right down the hall from my classroom so I am looking forward to peeking in on her during the day. With all the stress of it not opening on time, I must admit I am happy it is right there in my building.

On a totally separate, unrelated note, the nanny said I should shave Almi's hair so it will grow in thick and even. She pointed out where it's thinning in the front by her temples (just like mine) and said, "Yeah. The new hair when it comes will be very nice." I actually considered this when I was in Ethiopia because it was so uneven but I loved her curls and didn't want to part with them. Had I done it then it would be all grown back in now. I don't want her to go to daycare bald but I bet next summer I might wish I had done it now. Any truth to the old wives tale that hair grows in thicker and healthier if you shave it?


My active, energetic girl.

For comparison's sake, take a look at the first monthly update. It was done back in March. And her March photos. Awwww... she was so little!

Blog Makeover Anyone?

Christie over at A Bushel and a Peck does blog makeovers. Check out her blog, it's so nice! Although I plan to get the adoption process made into a book in its current format, I think a makeover is in order for the post since she's been home.

Right now she's having a contest for a free makeover. Click here to enter. Good luck!

Kitty!

Hanging out with Deborah's cat, Ella.

My girl is an animal lover! She especially loves "daaaaaawgieeeeeeeees". And that's probably because she can see dogs every day when they are out for their walks in our neighborhood. She will let me know every single time we pass one on the street. And every time she hears one bark. It's so cute. The other day I was reading her a book and she saw a goat with big thick horns chewing on a tin can and said with glee, "Dawgie!" Adorable. She also loves kitties. She likes to follow them around the house. I really want to get her a pet. Maybe I can start with a fish?

Dilemna

My new job starts tomorrow. You know, the with the inexpensive on site day care? Yeah, the one I signed up for. Well, turns out they haven't received their license yet and won't be open for another week. Or maybe two. Um, and what am I supposed to do with my daughter in the meantime? No one seems to have an answer for that.

I don't have any family in the area and none of my friends are stay at home moms. I tried to get her old day care to agree to take her back for a couple of weeks but they no longer have the space. I interviewed my friend's client, a lovely Eritrean woman in her 50s, and planned on hiring her but she balked at what I offered to pay her. I guess I could offer her more money but that would put additional financial strain on my already strained finances. My new colleague's teenage daughter offered to do Friday and I hoped she'd be able to do more but she can't. I suppose one could suggest Googling babysitters in DC and hiring a stranger, but I refuse. She is the most important thing in the world to me. I can't leave her with a stranger.


So, I have to report to work in 15 hrs and as of now I don't have childcare. This is certainly not the way I want to start a new job. I guess I have no choice but to pay the woman what she is demanding. This single parenting thing is really sucking right about now.

By the way, totally off the subject, but do you spell dilemna with an 'n' or with two m's 'dilemma' like spellcheck suggested? That looks weird to me.

**Update: I hired the woman at an additional $50/wk than what I had offered at first. That wasn't too bad considering that at first she hinted at wanting an additional $150 (although it's still going to cost me an additional $150 per week that I hadn't planned on or budgeted for). I'm very annoyed at the new daycare for not warning me about the possibility that it wouldn't open on time and having to endure unnecessary stress and spend more money but I can't deal with them now. My bigger worries are if the temporary nanny will show up on time and if she will be good to my kid. I can't wait for tomorrow to be over so I can see that my pumpkin is safe and happy. Thanks for all your suggestions.. and your input on the spelling. :) **

Just the Two of Us

Thanks for taking such great photos, Dawn!

One Week Left

... of vacation that is. So sad. It seriously flew by!! I created a list and barely got to check anything off. But, I am happy to say that the basement will be ready by the end of the month and I may be able to get a renter in there by Sept. 1. The appliances won't be delivered until the 28th but everything else should be done by tomorrow. Today they laid the new tiles and tomorrow they will finish that and all the last finishing touches. I haven't even listed it yet and I have two people expressing interest... and the best part??? The rent will pay half my mortgage! Woot!


I have one more week to get things together and I am pretty hopeful that I can accomplish mostly everything. So that's good.

In daycare news, I finally made a decision. I am going with the new site. It was a really hard decision. Remember the pros and cons? My biggest concern with leaving the old site is how her transition is going to be. That still worries me. When she is home with me all the time she is happy, easy-going, pleasant, obedient and rarely cries. I believe it's because she's comfortable and feels safe. On vacation, for comparison, she was whiny and clingy, cried a lot, shouted "No!" a lot and was throwing things and not sleeping well. (When she first got home from Ethiopia she used to cry in her sleep and she was doing that on vacation, too. I don't know why for sure but I have my suspicions.) Now that she is back with me she is sweet and a joy to be around. I worry that she is going to go back to her hitting and defiance and crying. I really, really want her to be happy. But, in the end I decided that if she is in school right down the hall from my classroom I can keep tabs on her but also the space, the other children and I can keep tabs on her teachers as well. I can look in at any time and they know that. Not to mention the principal has a two year old daughter as well in the same class so I am sure they are going to be doing their best. Someone left a really helpful comment when I posted about this before which was once I make my decision to throw all my energy into making it the best place possible for her/for us and that is what I intend to do.

(on our way to register this morning)

My biggest concerns about the new place were that it seemed too academic and the teachers/curriculum weren't terribly impressive but those worries have been laid to rest. Listen to what happened as I was driving over there to register her today! Early this morning there was a huge rainstorm and as I was driving over there I noticed there were power outages and trees down and other debris in the road. It made me realize how much more relaxed I will be if she is right in my building if, God forbid, anything serious were to happen. It's kind of hard to see from this picture, but this was a very mature tree and it was completely uprooted!!


I worry about her so much so having her right down the hall (yes, the daycare is on the kindergarten hallway!) will ease my fears. I can go check on her at any time and they can find me if needed. So, we get there and I register her and I ask the director if they have selected the teachers yet for her classroom. He said, "Yes. Ms. Essy and Ms. Rosa and I think you will be happy to learn that Ms. Essy is Ethiopian." I am telling you, this is all falling into place! An Ethiopian teacher?! I asked if I could meet her and the next thing I knew I was speaking to a lovely, warm 40-something woman who shared she's been teaching for 11 years and who Almi took to right away. I got a really good feeling from her. She was telling me about the other ages she has taught and she said she used to teach the "academic threes" but she likes being with the two year olds because there is a mix of academic work but also time for art and music and play. I swear, it's as if all my prayers were answered, I tell you. I am now pretty happy about the placement and Almi seemed to really, really like her and she won't be a complete stranger when she sees her next week. I asked Ms. Essy to speak to her in Amharic to see if she remembered any. She did and there seemed to be a glimmer of recognition in Almi's eyes, like it sounded comforting and familiar but she didn't respond in Amharic. However, like I said, she seemed to really like her so I am extremely relieved and happy about that. I really feel comfortable about my decision. And of course I'm thrilled to have it be less expensive on top of everything else!

Now the only thing I have to figure out is who is watching her for the first three days of work. We are due to report on August 19th but the daycare isn't going to be open until 23rd or 24th. Hmmmm.. You know what? I'm just going to assume that this will be taken care of as well.

Mr. Bunny!

The other day we went to a bbq with other single moms and single-moms-to-be of Ethiopian children. I love getting together with other single women who have adopted. No one understands the joys and challenges of single parenting better. You become instant friends. We adults had a great time but Almi had a great time, too --even though she was the only child there. Why? Well besides the fact she is one incredibly social butterfly, there were animals there. A kitty and a bunny! Almi had just seen a bunny for the first time in the garden of the house we rented on MV but this time she got to see one up close. Mr. Bunny was so sweet and calm and didn't mind that she touched his eye as she named his body parts. :) It was so sweet to watch her with him. She waved hi to him and kept kissing him on his back. It was so adorable. I know, I know. This child needs a pet!

Doctor Girl

I was working on the computer and the little one was entertaining herself with some of the things in the room (usually not her own toys). She started playing with my cell phone car charger and putting one end in her ear. It dawned on me she was pretending it was a stethoscope and the next thing I knew she was pulling me over to the futon to have me be her patient. I have modeled a number of ways to play things for her as she was without many toys in the orphanage (how to play with dolls, ride a bike, roll/throw/catch a ball, play with a tea set, etc.) but playing doctor was not one of them. I was very impressed. Perhaps they played in daycare or perhaps she just remembered her experience. I wonder if she will be a doctor one day. So fun to speculate.

Heart Swell

My little one did something amazing today.

I gave her some peach soy yogurt and half a banana for lunch and she was so, so happy.

In between sloppy bites she looked over at me and said "I luh loo" unprompted with a huge smile.

Awwwww... I love you too, pumpkin!!!!! So much!

(of course I had to grab my camera to document the day!)

MV in Her Own Words

Doggies!

A whole store filled with doggies!


Food!
Dancing!


I had fun!