Good Things to Come

Single parenting is hard, really hard for me.

It's hard because other then when I am work, we almost never get a break from each other. And that isn't good because when I am home I need to do laundry and cook meals and do house repairs and pay bills. I can't play with her constantly. But if I'm not doing that she's upset. And if I am playing with her constantly then I'm upset. I can either throw all of my responsibilities aside and interact with her each evening or I can run a household. But I can't seem to manage to do both.

I can either have a happy child or run a smooth household. I can either engage fully with my daughter in the evenings or have nutritious meals, a clean home and pay the bills on time. But if she is happy I am not because we are eating crap, the house is a mess and I am extremely stressed out because something very important isn't getting done.

I hate to admit it but I don't do single parenting very well. My priority has been Almi but I came to realize in the last couple of months that some drastic changes would have to happen because I must attend to myself and I must run a household and on a teachers salary with no support it just wasn't happening. My house is a wreck, the bills are paid late, I can't get to the gym, my friendships are suffering, my hobbies are being neglected, I rarely go out, I'm tired, I'm stressed out... this isn't living. It's not the life I want to live nor the life I want my daughter to experience!

So I started looking at my options:

I could drastically declutter and downsize.
I could get a second job.
I could sell my house.
I could share housing with a friend.
I could play the lottery regularly.
I could move to be closer to family.
I could move in with family.
I could look for a higher paying job.
I could move to a city where my money would go further.

Well, something panned out. I will share more in the coming months but suffice it to say we will be making a drastic change, one that I believe will be very good for our family. It will allow me to have more quality time with my daughter. It will allow me to have more time for me. It will allow me to save some money. It will add to our life story. Home cooked meals and a clean house are going to be possible. It's huge and scary and overwhelming and exciting but I am going to face my fears and step out on faith and make the change. For her. For me. For us. And I think that will be good.