I went in to talk to my principal today about leave. I figured that since I could be going on leave in as soon as a month (wait! seriously?! i just realized that! OMG!!) I better let her know. She asked me how long I plan on being out. I told her I would like to take off two months but since it's unpaid I wasn't sure I could afford it. I reminded her that adoptive parents get NO paid leave. It made me incensed all over again. (WTH?! So wrong! But I digress...) She said, "Oh, so have you saved up to make that feasible?" For shock value I responded, "No, I'll be eating tuna fish." But then I told her that I had saved up but that even if I hadn't, I would take off and deal with it because bonding with this child is more important than my savings account. I am reminded at how clueless companies are when it comes to adoption. Bio parents get 6-8 weeks paid to "heal" yet adoptive parents get nothing even though we may have sick children we are picking up, we may get sick on the trip, adopted kids/parents may suffer from PTSD, depression, have RAD to deal with, etc. and bonding must take place. I know I'd rather deplete my savings account to aid in the bonding process if it means a better future for my daughter and our family --but it shouldn't have to be that way. It's not fair. Yeah, life's not fair but I am still angry about it.
I did find out this one nice piece of news, though. I do not have to leave sub plans for the entire absence! My principal said to just leave enough for one week and what my long range goals are and then just plan to check in with my sub from time to time to see if she needs anything. That is such a relief! I am going to call my top three choices tomorrow to see if any of them are interested and available at the end of February/beginning of March. She also suggested that I check into an alternative work schedule when I come back like four days on/one day off if FMLA will allow it. I seem to remember that FMLA didn't have to be consecutive. That would be ideal.
Wow, I can't believe how close this is! Reality is setting in. I have sooo much still to do! I think I need to take off a couple of days to go up to personnel to set up leave and insurance and to work on my TO DO list. Friday there is an Open House at a really great daycare/school. I don't know if they even have fall openings, but if so I would love for my child to attend. I also need to have some doctor's appts. before she arrives. No more pussy-footing around!!
Showing posts with label maternity leave. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maternity leave. Show all posts
1.11.2010
9.28.2009
1250 hours
It's the last week of September. It's the week I qualify for FMLA. I was hired at this time last year and as of today I have worked my 1250 hours.
When I finished my dossier in June there were waiting babies. I could have gotten a referral shortly after that but it was a risk. You see, I knew I wouldn't qualify for leave until late September and I was afraid I would pass court and need to travel during the summer. I was afraid because if it all worked smoothly and I passed court on the first try I would have had my baby home but then I would have had to go back to work when the school year started back up and work all the way up until this week. I couldn't imagine interrupting our bonding like that so I asked my agency to hold my referral and try to time it so I would be traveling the first week of October.
So much for trying to time things! I should be packing this week getting ready to go but instead I am still waiting for a referral. I don't blame my agency. They have no control over when children come into care and if there are fewer in the orphanage, well that's a good thing. I just thought I would have her home for fall. I was looking forward to going to the pumpkin patch and dressing her in a Halloween costume. That's clearly not happening. I'm still hoping I get to travel by Christmas and truthfully, that works well in terms of leave. Vacation days aren't considered part of my leave so if I travel around the holidays I will get two additional weeks with her! (trying to look at the bright side...)
But, OK people! I have satisfied my end of the deal. As of today I have worked my 1250 hours and I officially qualify for leave. Now give me a reason to use it!!
When I finished my dossier in June there were waiting babies. I could have gotten a referral shortly after that but it was a risk. You see, I knew I wouldn't qualify for leave until late September and I was afraid I would pass court and need to travel during the summer. I was afraid because if it all worked smoothly and I passed court on the first try I would have had my baby home but then I would have had to go back to work when the school year started back up and work all the way up until this week. I couldn't imagine interrupting our bonding like that so I asked my agency to hold my referral and try to time it so I would be traveling the first week of October.
So much for trying to time things! I should be packing this week getting ready to go but instead I am still waiting for a referral. I don't blame my agency. They have no control over when children come into care and if there are fewer in the orphanage, well that's a good thing. I just thought I would have her home for fall. I was looking forward to going to the pumpkin patch and dressing her in a Halloween costume. That's clearly not happening. I'm still hoping I get to travel by Christmas and truthfully, that works well in terms of leave. Vacation days aren't considered part of my leave so if I travel around the holidays I will get two additional weeks with her! (trying to look at the bright side...)
But, OK people! I have satisfied my end of the deal. As of today I have worked my 1250 hours and I officially qualify for leave. Now give me a reason to use it!!
8.27.2009
Back to Work
...and back to the world of complete exhaustion. I can't remember ever being so tired. I can barely make it through the day without falling asleep (though that will change next week with a class full of 22 kindergartners!) I drag myself out of bed after seven hours of sleep and still need to stop off for a large coffee. Then I go through the motions looking forward to when I can go home and relax. I hope when I start my new schedule next week it helps me with my energy level cause being tired all day isn't fun. And when I am exhausted I get sick. This summer I was able to go four whole months without getting sick (including part of May). It was a record for me. And so noticeable. I remember saying to myself, 'Wow, I haven't been sick in such a long time!' Last year I had strep throat three or four times. It was crazy! Five year olds are germ factories and I must have some sort of extra-weak immune system or something cause I get whatever goes around. Every. Single. Time. I was forced to take sick days which of course now translates to fewer days with pay when I take leave this winter. I have to use up my ten days of accrued sick leave before I can access FMLA. I asked them what happens if I or my baby gets sick after I return to work and the answer was I take leave without pay. Great. Gotta love the family-friendly American workplace. Not.
Meanwhile my Canadian teacher friend is in Namibia picking up her daughter. She emailed her principal before she left and said she'd be back in March. No need to find a sub. No requirement to write sub plans. No stress. And nine months paid leave. I'm happy for her, but so unfair!
I know I keep complaining about this but it makes it so hard to look forward to parenting knowing I won't have even one slim dime come in for the two months I plan to take off. I want to take off the rest of the year and bond with my daughter. I want to feed her and put her down for her nap and I want my face to be the one she sees when she wakes up. I want to take her to the park and the pool and for walks in the neighborhood. I want to be the one who hears her speak her first words.
If I could just figure out how to manage not going back after leave. At this rate I estimate I will be traveling to Ethiopia sometime before Christmas, let's say mid-December. If I take off two months, I will be expected back to work in mid-February. When I go back there will still be 4 more months left of the school year. And then the next two (summer vacation) which are also unpaid. In total, that amounts to eight months unpaid. There is no way. Don't want the house to go in foreclosure or anything, but dang! I do-not-want-to-go-back! I wish I could figure it out.
Meanwhile my Canadian teacher friend is in Namibia picking up her daughter. She emailed her principal before she left and said she'd be back in March. No need to find a sub. No requirement to write sub plans. No stress. And nine months paid leave. I'm happy for her, but so unfair!
I know I keep complaining about this but it makes it so hard to look forward to parenting knowing I won't have even one slim dime come in for the two months I plan to take off. I want to take off the rest of the year and bond with my daughter. I want to feed her and put her down for her nap and I want my face to be the one she sees when she wakes up. I want to take her to the park and the pool and for walks in the neighborhood. I want to be the one who hears her speak her first words.
If I could just figure out how to manage not going back after leave. At this rate I estimate I will be traveling to Ethiopia sometime before Christmas, let's say mid-December. If I take off two months, I will be expected back to work in mid-February. When I go back there will still be 4 more months left of the school year. And then the next two (summer vacation) which are also unpaid. In total, that amounts to eight months unpaid. There is no way. Don't want the house to go in foreclosure or anything, but dang! I do-not-want-to-go-back! I wish I could figure it out.
7.21.2009
Workplace Adoption Benefits
My school district doesn't have any benefits for adoptive parents. No financial adoption assistance and no paid leave. I am in the midst of constructing a letter to them to see if I can be instrumental in facilitating change.
Currently, biological parents are provided significant benefits including full coverage of medical expenses associated with the birth. In my research, hospital fees from a normal birth average about $10,000. Multiples or complications add to the expense, of course. Adoptions are rarely $10,000. I'd guess that $20,000 was more the average, yet parents who choose to form their families through adoption get no financial assistance at all.
In addition, after the delivery, biological mothers get six weeks paid leave for a vaginal birth and eight for a cesarean. Adoptive parents get no paid leave. None. Biological mothers get paid leave because it's deemed a "medical condition" and a necessary time needed to heal. There is no consideration about what healing adoptive parents or children might need.
Adoptive parents can suffer from post adoptive depression--much like postpartum depression-- causing emotional suffering and distress. And both the parent and the child need time to attach. Not sufficiently attaching can cause future problems for the child in socializing and how the child reacts to a situation. I haven't done a whole lot of research on the topic, but I am pretty confident that not attaching properly would fall under the umbrella of a psychological condition--one that could potentially be lessened or avoided altogether if adoptive parents were given time to work on the bonding process. I have no idea how long that would take. I suppose it's different for every child and varies greatly based on age and where they spent their first months or years of life. Clearly, adoptive parents should be granted paid leave for this critical process. And if you throw in the fact that they will have already paid $20,000+ out of pocket for an international adoption, taking this necessary leave, and not being paid for any of it, is an additional financial hit--one we willingly take for the health of our child and family--but one that can present a challenge for many.
I am doing research on the topic and hope to mail a letter off to the human resources department this week. I am going to start with a simple one page letter highlighting just the key points of why it is needed and how it benefits my employer. If I don't hear anything back I plan to write a more detailed letter and send it out to HR and others above the HR department. I hope they will consider making changes to our benefits plan to include adoptive parents and it'd be great if I could benefit from the changes. But even if I can't this year or they choose to not make any changes, I can at least say I put in the effort for myself and all the other PAPs out there.
Currently, biological parents are provided significant benefits including full coverage of medical expenses associated with the birth. In my research, hospital fees from a normal birth average about $10,000. Multiples or complications add to the expense, of course. Adoptions are rarely $10,000. I'd guess that $20,000 was more the average, yet parents who choose to form their families through adoption get no financial assistance at all.
In addition, after the delivery, biological mothers get six weeks paid leave for a vaginal birth and eight for a cesarean. Adoptive parents get no paid leave. None. Biological mothers get paid leave because it's deemed a "medical condition" and a necessary time needed to heal. There is no consideration about what healing adoptive parents or children might need.
Adoptive parents can suffer from post adoptive depression--much like postpartum depression-- causing emotional suffering and distress. And both the parent and the child need time to attach. Not sufficiently attaching can cause future problems for the child in socializing and how the child reacts to a situation. I haven't done a whole lot of research on the topic, but I am pretty confident that not attaching properly would fall under the umbrella of a psychological condition--one that could potentially be lessened or avoided altogether if adoptive parents were given time to work on the bonding process. I have no idea how long that would take. I suppose it's different for every child and varies greatly based on age and where they spent their first months or years of life. Clearly, adoptive parents should be granted paid leave for this critical process. And if you throw in the fact that they will have already paid $20,000+ out of pocket for an international adoption, taking this necessary leave, and not being paid for any of it, is an additional financial hit--one we willingly take for the health of our child and family--but one that can present a challenge for many.
I am doing research on the topic and hope to mail a letter off to the human resources department this week. I am going to start with a simple one page letter highlighting just the key points of why it is needed and how it benefits my employer. If I don't hear anything back I plan to write a more detailed letter and send it out to HR and others above the HR department. I hope they will consider making changes to our benefits plan to include adoptive parents and it'd be great if I could benefit from the changes. But even if I can't this year or they choose to not make any changes, I can at least say I put in the effort for myself and all the other PAPs out there.
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