It's Been a Very Busy Few Days

This week has been jam packed! I haven't done a thing towards our move because there was so much else going on. Every day was busy! Every single day. I have had very little sleep.
The week started out with celebrating her birthday. And we had family in town. And then there was my surprise going away party for me at work. And report cards were due. And her end of the year awards ceremony. Whew! It's been crazy!

When her birthday finally rolled around, she was an old pro with blowing out candles and singing her age and all of that! Here is my cutie pie on her way to school with the cookies for her friends. I'm lovin' the Mary Jane's, tiara and band aid!I think I can show three fingers, Mama.

Yes, there. I'm three!

Grandma really wanted to come into town to celebrate her youngest grandchild turning three. It was so sweet seeing them together. She insisted that Grandma sit in the backseat with her and hold hands. Awww...

Before going into the daycare to sing Happy Birthday to her and share the cookies with the her classmates, Grandma came into my classroom to read one of her books to my Kindergartners. They were so excited to have a real author visit!

Then we headed down the hall for the birthday celebration. I think Almi was overwhelmed with seeing Grandma in her daycare cause she had a meltdown. Seeing her with her classmates and hearing them sing to her was cute, but I admit, was quite disappointed that she wouldn't sing 'I'm three years old' for the video. Which leads me ask this question. Does turning three mean you officially stop listening to your parents and your teachers? Seriously. I'm just wondering cause it has been downhill ever since.

After school we went out to dinner: Almi, Grandma, her Godmother Ayanna, and I. She wanted pizza for dinner so we that's what we did. Her lovely behavior continued in the restaurant. Sigh. She was not listening. Again. Luckily, when she had her pizza she calmed down and was happy. She even proved to us she can sing how old she is. Loudly. Very, very loudly. LOL



After dinner we went home. There were more presents.

And a cute card where Almi knew which bunny she was and which were Grandma and Grandpa.

Then there was more cake. This time an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. She (we) loved it!



Later on in the week Uncle C was here to see the munchkin. Love seeing them together!

And last night my colleagues threw a surprise going away party for me! Man, they are really awesome. We had a ball. We had dinner and wine and lots of laughter. They even surprised me with two awesome gifts. A gift card for the Apple Store and iTunes for me and an adorable backpack filled with toys and games to entertain her on the flight! How incredibly thoughtful is that?!

Tonight was her award ceremony at school. I cringe with embarrassment thinking about it. Let's just say the drama there deserves its own post. Can I tell you how glad I am that Friday is here?! Mama needs a big goblet of wine!!!

I Need Your Help! Please Advise!

Ok, I am turning to the blogosphere because I am way too stressed to try to figure this out and it's not coming to me easily.

Do I resign from my job or take a leave of absence?

Option A - resign

1. I have until July 15th to let them know.
2. I give up my tenure and position.
3. I have to find insurance coverage from July 15-July 25 when my new insurance kicks in.
4. I'd have to reapply when I return and due to budget constraints, there may not be any openings.

Option B - take a leave of absence

1. I have to tell them on Monday.
2. My insurance will be available until the end of any month I state (so for me, July 31)
3. My tenure will remain intact.
4. When I return to the district, a position at my current school is not guaranteed, but a position in my certification area is and I will be at the top of the hiring pool and get priority.

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Not so much.

I must factor in Almi's readoption. I am still waiting for some fingerprints to come back and then there's the issue of her missing adoption paperwork. My attorney said I am only the second client in 20 years that he has worked with who had lost the paperwork. He said everything should be fine and the readoption should be completed before I leave.

That makes me nervous. There is a small possibility that it won't be completed and I will have to renege on my contract. If that happens, here is what happens with options A and B.

Option A - resign

I won't have to resign until July 15th. I will know by then if things went through or not. If they don't, then I won't resign and I will return to my great school and Almi can return to the daycare that she knows and loves.

Option B - take a leave of absence

Since I would have informed them of this on May 23, my position at my current school will be filled and I will go into the pool with all the other transfer applicants and have to find a new job. My school district is big and I could end up with a very long commute. I would try to keep her in her current daycare but that may not be possible. I could end up with an expensive daycare situation and teaching any grade up to grade 8 due to my certification even though I teach Kindergaten now.

Having to reneg on my contract would be bad enough. My new school will be angry, my new nanny will be out of a job, I will likely have to repay them for the $4000 plane tickets they purchased, etc. but I could also have a very stressful commute, a new grade level and expensive daycare near my new place of employment.

Suddenly, the leave of absence isn't looking so appealing.

What would you do??? Please help! Option A or B?

One Week Left

... of vacation that is. So sad. It seriously flew by!! I created a list and barely got to check anything off. But, I am happy to say that the basement will be ready by the end of the month and I may be able to get a renter in there by Sept. 1. The appliances won't be delivered until the 28th but everything else should be done by tomorrow. Today they laid the new tiles and tomorrow they will finish that and all the last finishing touches. I haven't even listed it yet and I have two people expressing interest... and the best part??? The rent will pay half my mortgage! Woot!


I have one more week to get things together and I am pretty hopeful that I can accomplish mostly everything. So that's good.

In daycare news, I finally made a decision. I am going with the new site. It was a really hard decision. Remember the pros and cons? My biggest concern with leaving the old site is how her transition is going to be. That still worries me. When she is home with me all the time she is happy, easy-going, pleasant, obedient and rarely cries. I believe it's because she's comfortable and feels safe. On vacation, for comparison, she was whiny and clingy, cried a lot, shouted "No!" a lot and was throwing things and not sleeping well. (When she first got home from Ethiopia she used to cry in her sleep and she was doing that on vacation, too. I don't know why for sure but I have my suspicions.) Now that she is back with me she is sweet and a joy to be around. I worry that she is going to go back to her hitting and defiance and crying. I really, really want her to be happy. But, in the end I decided that if she is in school right down the hall from my classroom I can keep tabs on her but also the space, the other children and I can keep tabs on her teachers as well. I can look in at any time and they know that. Not to mention the principal has a two year old daughter as well in the same class so I am sure they are going to be doing their best. Someone left a really helpful comment when I posted about this before which was once I make my decision to throw all my energy into making it the best place possible for her/for us and that is what I intend to do.

(on our way to register this morning)

My biggest concerns about the new place were that it seemed too academic and the teachers/curriculum weren't terribly impressive but those worries have been laid to rest. Listen to what happened as I was driving over there to register her today! Early this morning there was a huge rainstorm and as I was driving over there I noticed there were power outages and trees down and other debris in the road. It made me realize how much more relaxed I will be if she is right in my building if, God forbid, anything serious were to happen. It's kind of hard to see from this picture, but this was a very mature tree and it was completely uprooted!!


I worry about her so much so having her right down the hall (yes, the daycare is on the kindergarten hallway!) will ease my fears. I can go check on her at any time and they can find me if needed. So, we get there and I register her and I ask the director if they have selected the teachers yet for her classroom. He said, "Yes. Ms. Essy and Ms. Rosa and I think you will be happy to learn that Ms. Essy is Ethiopian." I am telling you, this is all falling into place! An Ethiopian teacher?! I asked if I could meet her and the next thing I knew I was speaking to a lovely, warm 40-something woman who shared she's been teaching for 11 years and who Almi took to right away. I got a really good feeling from her. She was telling me about the other ages she has taught and she said she used to teach the "academic threes" but she likes being with the two year olds because there is a mix of academic work but also time for art and music and play. I swear, it's as if all my prayers were answered, I tell you. I am now pretty happy about the placement and Almi seemed to really, really like her and she won't be a complete stranger when she sees her next week. I asked Ms. Essy to speak to her in Amharic to see if she remembered any. She did and there seemed to be a glimmer of recognition in Almi's eyes, like it sounded comforting and familiar but she didn't respond in Amharic. However, like I said, she seemed to really like her so I am extremely relieved and happy about that. I really feel comfortable about my decision. And of course I'm thrilled to have it be less expensive on top of everything else!

Now the only thing I have to figure out is who is watching her for the first three days of work. We are due to report on August 19th but the daycare isn't going to be open until 23rd or 24th. Hmmmm.. You know what? I'm just going to assume that this will be taken care of as well.

Showered!

My co-workers threw me a breakfast baby shower in the media center! I hate being the center of attention like that (way shy!) but it was cool. I think it was fun for them though, too, since they all got to meet Naomi. I got a diaper bag filled with supplies (wipes, Tylenol, thermometer, etc.), a monitor, tons of board books, clothes, toys, DVDs and gift certificates. Almi was her normal outgoing self and impressed everyone with her fun personality ...and her appetite! :-)

Mother's Day

I spent my first Mother's Day with my new daughter and my mom (and other family). It was really nice. My mom wanted me to bring her to church but that only lasted 5 minutes--until Almi wanted to run up and down the aisles. Then we went to brunch, opened cards (teared up while reading aloud the sentiments) and *attempted* to get a 3 generations photo. I got a lot of phone calls and texts and even cards in the mail. I really appreciated everyone's good wishes but I got to be honest...it was all so surreal. Am I really someone's mother? I'm curious to find out when I officially begin to feel like one.

OK, I gotta be honest here. Most blogs are not. But I know I always appreciate ones where people are real and authentic, so here goes. Naomi Winter Almaz is an amazing child. There is no getting around that and I am honored to be chosen to parent her and I will do so the best way I know how. She has been entrusted in my care and I take that very seriously. I truly love her.

But.

Yes there's a but..

It is *very* hard.
I am tired.
I feel isolated.
I need help.
I miss my old life.
I have no balance.
I want sleep.
I want more money.
I want to be doing this with a husband.
I wanna cry.
I do cry.
Can I repeat how tired I am?

It has gotten a lot better than the first few days we were together. I still haven't finished blogging about my time in Ethiopia and I will but suffice it to say that it was very, very, very difficult. I thank God my cousin was there to help me out. She got sick. She was grieving. I was exhausted. So it's better now-- a lot better-- I recognize that and know it will continue to get better. But without a lot of language she gets frustrated. And without sleep and without help I get frustrated. Oh and can I also mention the diarrhea?? No diagnosis yet. But really, ugh. And, well, I've been up since 4:00 this morning so that's where this is all coming from. Don't worry, we're hanging in there!! Just venting.

Meanwhile, I go back to work on Monday. I don't want to go, but Almi's in daycare now and seems happy and, well, I need a paycheck! In short, the sick leave bank rejected my claim so I will not get paid one slim dime from the time I was off plus they just informed me that I will be receiving a bill for my health insurance premiums for the time I was out. Yeah, my school district pretty much sucks. And there is nothing more I have to say about that.

My first preschool art project to come home was also my Mother's Day gift!

Thanks for all the kind comments about the ER visit!!! She is doing much better!

Daycare

Daycare.

Oh, just thinking about it makes me upset. I think she will do fine. She loves toys and singing and playing with other kids and sitting on kid-sized chairs and eating snacks and learning. Here she is exploring some rocks and shells at my friend's house. She is so curious.

Yes, she will probably be fine. But momma? Now she is very stressed out about it. What if someone raises their voice to her? What if she cries? What if she misses me? What if someone hurts her? What if she doesn't think I'm coming back? What if they ask her to do something and she doesn't understand and then gets in trouble for not doing it? I don't even want to think about it. I don't even want to imagine it. It's making me cry just thinking about it.

She starts today for 2 hours (while I go on a breakfast date!), tomorrow for 2 hours and Friday for 1. And then it's back to work for me full time on Monday and she will be there for 10 hrs. That's a lo-o-o-ng time. There are only 6 more weeks of school so it's not too long for her to be there before she's back with me full time this summer but I wish she could avoid this stint and not have to go until the fall. On one hand I want her to be around other kids having fun and learning things but she is so special and so sweet and I want to continue to nurture that. She says please and thank you and gives me kisses and doesn't have tantrums. I don't want her to pick up bad habits from other kids like spitting, biting or crying fits. I really, really, really wish I could have figured out a way to keep her home until summer. Makes me cry really but what can you do? Gotta pay the mortgage. Sigh.

My doctor filled out the paperwork for me to petition to stay home but didn't do it until yesterday and the deadline to submit it was on Friday. I had an appointment for him to fill it out 2 weeks ago but he was running late as usual and my appointment was going to be 3 hours later than scheduled. I couldn't entertain her for that long in a packed waiting room so I had to leave and yesterday was the next available time to meet. Unfortunately that means I go back to work on Monday. If I submit it today they won't review it until May 11th. He recommended I stay home until May 31st. If they accept it, at least I will get reimbursed for back pay but I will still have to go back to work for the last two weeks. Pisses me off. I just don't think I can stay home for the next two weeks while I wait for them to review it. But on the other hand it's only 2 more weeks. Staying home these next two weeks would make more sense if in fact I am able to qualify. I don't know...

Well, she is going in today either way. In two hours I will drop her off with strangers. Oh boy, here come the waterworks again. This is going to be so hard!


**Update**

She did fine. She had visited once before so it wasn't completely new to her and it's such a happy, diverse place that she fit right in. She didn't cry and when I went in to pick her up she was sitting in someone's lap looking at a book. I went in and crouched down by her and said, "Hi, Pumpkin" and she gave me a huge smile and came over to me with her arms outstretched. Aww... so sweet. When I put her down to put on her jacket she started whimpering, like 'please don't leave me here any longer... take me with you!' That made me feel better -- like we are pretty bonded. I hope it continues to go this smoothly.

Mommy Fails

OK, here we go... don't yell at me, I'm trying!

1. I didn't feed her lunch a couple of times because I wasn't hungry so I forgot :(

2. I went out twice without diapers cause, hey, I don't wear them so why would they be on my mind? I ended up having to give her a bath at my friend's house and then drive home without one on. Think Three Men and a Baby but with two 40-something women. Comical.

3. I fed her tuna and then later worried about allergic reaction and then realized I gave her strawberries last week.

4. I couldn't find her bottles or sippy cups but knew she wanted water so I put some in a plastic container and handed it to her where she was sitting on the floor like she was a puppy or something :(

Is she serious?
Ok, whatever, Mom.

5. I couldn't sleep with her constant kicking so I went into the den. She woke me up at 8:15 but usually gets up at 7am. What was she doing all that time? Glad the place is baby proofed!

6. I fed her Cheerios for dinner because we got stuck in major traffic during the dinner hour and that's what I had in the car.

7. I forgot to check her diaper post-nap and ended up with poop on my new carpet. Oops!

But for the most part I think I am doing pretty well for a new mom. We are into a little routine.

Wake up, play a bit, get dressed.
Breakfast, play more, errands, snack.
Lunch, nap, play more.
Dinner, play, bath, get ready for bed, books, prayers, sleep.

I don't know how things will change when I have to go back to work in 3 weeks. I can NOT believe that my time off is already half over. That is sooo unfortunate, but so is not getting a paycheck so it's back to work I go. I can't imagine how tired and overextended I will be then.

Meanwhile, I am looking at my list of things to do before I go back to work. My daunting to do list. Here is just a sampling...

1. I have got to figure out day care still. I am still waitlisted at a place where I don't have to sign a 12-month contract. This is key since I don't work in the summer. Stupid to pay for day care if I am off work. Now if I get a summer job that pays more than daycare I might consider it but for now that job doesn't exist. There is a very nice daycare right near my house with openings now. It's Spanish immersion, very diverse, not outrageously expensive but a 12-month contract. If nothing pans out that's where she will be.

2. I have to work on her readoption process and apply for her social security card. My job sent me a letter yesterday saying they were going to drop her from my health insurance unless I give them a copy of her s.s.# by April 2nd. Three weeks? Great. I don't know if I can get one that quickly without her being readopted. Must figure that out this week.

3. Taxes.

The list has about 7 other critical items on it but I won't bore you with the details. Instead I'll post a cute photo :)

Yay! Injera!

Reality is Setting In

I went in to talk to my principal today about leave. I figured that since I could be going on leave in as soon as a month (wait! seriously?! i just realized that! OMG!!) I better let her know. She asked me how long I plan on being out. I told her I would like to take off two months but since it's unpaid I wasn't sure I could afford it. I reminded her that adoptive parents get NO paid leave. It made me incensed all over again. (WTH?! So wrong! But I digress...) She said, "Oh, so have you saved up to make that feasible?" For shock value I responded, "No, I'll be eating tuna fish." But then I told her that I had saved up but that even if I hadn't, I would take off and deal with it because bonding with this child is more important than my savings account. I am reminded at how clueless companies are when it comes to adoption. Bio parents get 6-8 weeks paid to "heal" yet adoptive parents get nothing even though we may have sick children we are picking up, we may get sick on the trip, adopted kids/parents may suffer from PTSD, depression, have RAD to deal with, etc. and bonding must take place. I know I'd rather deplete my savings account to aid in the bonding process if it means a better future for my daughter and our family --but it shouldn't have to be that way. It's not fair. Yeah, life's not fair but I am still angry about it.

I did find out this one nice piece of news, though. I do not have to leave sub plans for the entire absence! My principal said to just leave enough for one week and what my long range goals are and then just plan to check in with my sub from time to time to see if she needs anything. That is such a relief! I am going to call my top three choices tomorrow to see if any of them are interested and available at the end of February/beginning of March. She also suggested that I check into an alternative work schedule when I come back like four days on/one day off if FMLA will allow it. I seem to remember that FMLA didn't have to be consecutive. That would be ideal.

Wow, I can't believe how close this is! Reality is setting in. I have sooo much still to do! I think I need to take off a couple of days to go up to personnel to set up leave and insurance and to work on my TO DO list. Friday there is an Open House at a really great daycare/school. I don't know if they even have fall openings, but if so I would love for my child to attend. I also need to have some doctor's appts. before she arrives. No more pussy-footing around!!

Back to Work

...and back to the world of complete exhaustion. I can't remember ever being so tired. I can barely make it through the day without falling asleep (though that will change next week with a class full of 22 kindergartners!) I drag myself out of bed after seven hours of sleep and still need to stop off for a large coffee. Then I go through the motions looking forward to when I can go home and relax. I hope when I start my new schedule next week it helps me with my energy level cause being tired all day isn't fun. And when I am exhausted I get sick. This summer I was able to go four whole months without getting sick (including part of May). It was a record for me. And so noticeable. I remember saying to myself, 'Wow, I haven't been sick in such a long time!' Last year I had strep throat three or four times. It was crazy! Five year olds are germ factories and I must have some sort of extra-weak immune system or something cause I get whatever goes around. Every. Single. Time. I was forced to take sick days which of course now translates to fewer days with pay when I take leave this winter. I have to use up my ten days of accrued sick leave before I can access FMLA. I asked them what happens if I or my baby gets sick after I return to work and the answer was I take leave without pay. Great. Gotta love the family-friendly American workplace. Not.

Meanwhile my Canadian teacher friend is in Namibia picking up her daughter. She emailed her principal before she left and said she'd be back in March. No need to find a sub. No requirement to write sub plans. No stress. And nine months paid leave. I'm happy for her, but so unfair!

I know I keep complaining about this but it makes it so hard to look forward to parenting knowing I won't have even one slim dime come in for the two months I plan to take off. I want to take off the rest of the year and bond with my daughter. I want to feed her and put her down for her nap and I want my face to be the one she sees when she wakes up. I want to take her to the park and the pool and for walks in the neighborhood. I want to be the one who hears her speak her first words.

If I could just figure out how to manage not going back after leave. At this rate I estimate I will be traveling to Ethiopia sometime before Christmas, let's say mid-December. If I take off two months, I will be expected back to work in mid-February. When I go back there will still be 4 more months left of the school year. And then the next two (summer vacation) which are also unpaid. In total, that amounts to eight months unpaid. There is no way. Don't want the house to go in foreclosure or anything, but dang! I do-not-want-to-go-back! I wish I could figure it out.

Workplace Adoption Benefits

My school district doesn't have any benefits for adoptive parents. No financial adoption assistance and no paid leave. I am in the midst of constructing a letter to them to see if I can be instrumental in facilitating change.

Currently, biological parents are provided significant benefits including full coverage of medical expenses associated with the birth. In my research, hospital fees from a normal birth average about $10,000. Multiples or complications add to the expense, of course. Adoptions are rarely $10,000. I'd guess that $20,000 was more the average, yet parents who choose to form their families through adoption get no financial assistance at all.

In addition, after the delivery, biological mothers get six weeks paid leave for a vaginal birth and eight for a cesarean. Adoptive parents get no paid leave. None. Biological mothers get paid leave because it's deemed a "medical condition" and a necessary time needed to heal. There is no consideration about what healing adoptive parents or children might need.

Adoptive parents can suffer from post adoptive depression--much like postpartum depression-- causing emotional suffering and distress. And both the parent and the child need time to attach. Not sufficiently attaching can cause future problems for the child in socializing and how the child reacts to a situation. I haven't done a whole lot of research on the topic, but I am pretty confident that not attaching properly would fall under the umbrella of a psychological condition--one that could potentially be lessened or avoided altogether if adoptive parents were given time to work on the bonding process. I have no idea how long that would take. I suppose it's different for every child and varies greatly based on age and where they spent their first months or years of life. Clearly, adoptive parents should be granted paid leave for this critical process. And if you throw in the fact that they will have already paid $20,000+ out of pocket for an international adoption, taking this necessary leave, and not being paid for any of it, is an additional financial hit--one we willingly take for the health of our child and family--but one that can present a challenge for many.

I am doing research on the topic and hope to mail a letter off to the human resources department this week. I am going to start with a simple one page letter highlighting just the key points of why it is needed and how it benefits my employer. If I don't hear anything back I plan to write a more detailed letter and send it out to HR and others above the HR department. I hope they will consider making changes to our benefits plan to include adoptive parents and it'd be great if I could benefit from the changes. But even if I can't this year or they choose to not make any changes, I can at least say I put in the effort for myself and all the other PAPs out there.

Tying Up Loose Ends

I love the end of the school year. I love my kindergartners but it's so nice to know that at the end of the year I am no longer responsible for them. I can throw out all the files I kept on them and everything with their name on it and start fresh with a new batch in the fall! This has been a crazy past couple of weeks with end of the year assessments and report cards, etc. and then I threw in an end of the year performance for their parents. It was a lot of fun and so worth it!

Monday was the performance and my students performed their little butts off! They were too adorable! Tuesday report cards were due and it was the kids' last day. Today, Wednesday, I went in to clean up my classroom. And now I'm officially done with the school year. What a load off!

In adoption news, my dossier was approved by my agency and will be making it's way (back) to DC by the end of the week. I'm not sure how long it will be there before heading off to Ethiopia. But it feels good to have that done, too! Yikes! Things seem to be happening so quickly all of a sudden!

So..

School year- done.
Dossier - done.

Now onto the next task: organizing my house! I didn't do so well with Week of Purge. I don't think the timing was right. I had way too much other stuff going on. But now I have time! This week I will move all my crap to the basement (command central). In command central I will put things into 4 piles:

* sell
* donate (i.e. Goodwill)
* give away (to friends or on Freecycle)
* throw away

I can not wait to get rid of all this clutter! And then it will be on to preparing for my daughter!

What's In a Name?

To get my mind off all the maternity leave BS, I have to shift my focus to something less stressful and aggravating. Thank you for your suggestions and supportive comments about that and how to deal with my negative friend. By the way, I did speak to her and she said she didn't realize she was being unsupportive. I believe she will be more sensitive in the future. As far as leave, I haven't figured out what to do. I clearly need more than 12 days, especially considering at least 7 of them will be used up while in Ethiopia. Honestly, I don't understand how it's even legal or why adoptive parents haven't rallied together and created an uproar. Perhaps because the majority are married or have spouses with great benefits or maybe earning an income isn't an issue? I'm not asking to take off an entire year (which I really think is an appropriate amount of time) but just time to get to know her and she, me. Who better to take care of my child than me? I should be the one to feed her, change her, play with her, teach her, interact with her. I should be able to witness the firsts in her life, not some daycare provider. I know it takes a village, but shouldn't I be the primary one to have this role? As that day gets closer and closer I am getting more and more sensitive about the subject and more and more worried about the influences of outsiders. I just really, really want to be there.

On the way home I visited a daycare center. I have to say I was actually pleasantly surprised. It was bright and cheerful and the ten minutes or so that I was in there, the kids seemed happy and well-looked after. I will be going in for a tour next week and putting my name on the waiting list. I know daycare is just something I will have to accept and there are places where my child can thrive.. I know that. I just wish it could just be the two of us.

Anyhoo~ names! Yes, I have been thinking a lot about names lately. It would be great if I already was very attached to a name. It would save so much time! I could start referring to my daughter by the name, I could buy things with her name on it, etc. But waiting to come up with name also makes sense. I think there's a lot to be said for waiting to meet a child (biological or adopted) before making a final decision on a name to see if a name fits. And in my case, not knowing the how old she will be when I pick her up may mean I will keep her given name, particularly if it was given to her by her first family. I think an infant can adapt to a new name fairly quickly but I'm not sure about a toddler.

I won't put my exact list of name choices as it's a great way to get uninvited comments and opinions (been there, done that!) but suffice it to say I like both androgynous names and feminine names. I like the idea of using a family name or an Ethiopian name, too! I think I've narrowed down the list to about fifteen! LOL

Part of the problem is by becoming a parent later in life means you have come across a lot of names by now that you like, names I would have never even considered ten years ago. When I was little I was sure I would name my daughter Jennifer. I loved the name Jennifer. I had a Raggedy Ann doll that I carried with me everywhere, but instead of calling her Ann, I called her Jennifer! That name isn't bad but it isn't in the running. Being an older parent also means that many of your friends already have children and have used names that you like. And then add to that being a teacher for fifteen years and another whole slew of names has to be ruled out. I am getting closer and I will reveal her name before the end of the year! :)


All this thinking of names reminded me of all the crazy unique names I have come across in the classroom over the years...

There was the little girl named Schawntrisicia (pronounced Shawntricia). That was a mouthful and so hard for her to learn to spell. Well, yeah!

And there was the child named Pepsi. A boy. "Like the drink?!", I asked him. A huge smile spread across his face as he proudly told me that yes, he was indeed named after the soda.

And then there was the little girl named Taylor. Cute name, right? Not too unusual. Until you learn her last name was also Taylor. Yup, that's right. Taylor Taylor!

Oh! And let's not forget the twins Greg and Gregory. I kid you not. Or even better, the twins Schillick and Shillack.

(Some people just shouldn't reproduce. Ha!)

Any suggestions for interesting names to go with a 2-syllable last name?

Bad Dream

I had a dream last night. Or maybe it was a nightmare. I woke up with my face still twisted up in pain and my mouth contorted as if silent screams were emanating from deep within.

I dreamt that I got text message from my father. It said, "Congratulations, Mommy. She is so beautiful." I called him right away because at this point I hadn't seen my child. (somehow I knew in the dream he wasn't referring to a photograph). When I called him I discovered he and my mom and my sister had gone to Ethiopia and picked up my child and were caring for her back home. They said they were trying to be helpful because they knew I had to work. I was sick to my stomach. Sick because they got to experience the first meeting at the care center; sick because they got to hold her first; sick because at this point it had been about a week and I was sure my child had bonded to them.

Is it obvious that bonding time with my child is on my mind? Becoming a new mom is when it really sucks to be American. As you can imagine, my maternity benefits are not enviable. Sure, I can take loads of time off--in fact my contract states they will save my job for up to 3 years, but of course this three years is unpaid. Being single, that benefit isn't terribly useful. I was talking to a Canadian friend of mine the other day. She has a newborn at home so I asked her what her paid maternity leave was like and she casually said, "Oh, it's about a year." A year? Really? Really. She gets 15 weeks maternity, paid, and then an additional 35 weeks parental benefits, paid. Yup, that's about a year. I knew Europeans had it good, but Canadians, too?

I'm wondering, how much time should I be taking off? I'd love to take a year but that's not an option. Six months is not really an option either. I imagine my daughter will be somewhere between 6-18 months when I bring her home. For the smoothest transition, to build trust, to ensure bonding how much time do you think I need?

Calming Down...

Today was a crazy day. First of all, it was St. Patrick's Day. My kids were off the chain! They came dressed in all shades of green and were SO excited to bring the leprechaun catchers they had created to school. We did some projects and then went on a leprechaun hunt. I added to the hype by turning over some chairs in the classroom and tossing some glitter around while they were at art. They were totally convinced a leprechaun had been in our classroom. It was SO cute! One of the best parts of teaching (other than snow days and you know I love my snow days!) is that kids can really take your mind off your stress. This morning I was still fuming about the whole homestudy thing but forgot all about it until I left work at 4:30 this afternoon. I love that my kiddos can give me some joy during the day! Here are a couple of them at the end of the day still looking for that tricky leprechaun!


When I left work I tried my social worker again. He claims my homestudy was sent to CIS today.
I hope so. He said a copy was sent to me. If I don't get it by Friday I am going to raise all hell cause I also just learned that it's approximately a nine week turnaround to get the I171H. I can pretty much kiss a summer court date good-bye. As eager as I was to get in before the courts closed, deep down I knew that wasn't really likely. I am still hopeful I can get my bambino in 2009 but I am not sure. Thanks for the supportive comments on the last post. Several people did say that it I need to just trust the timing because my daughter will come to me at the perfect time, and I believe that to be true.

So, I came home and made some dinner. The old me would have eaten a pint of Ben and Jerry's to self-soothe (ok, who am I kidding? the new me could easily do that, too) but tonight I decided to just cook a quick healthy meal and focus on other things. Rachel posted an easy recipe and I tried it tonight. I sauteed some garlic in olive oil, added black beans and tomatoes, and salt to taste.


I, then, added some sliced avocado and ate it with tortilla chips and an O'Doul's. Pretty darn tasty.


And then I topped off the whole meal with a homemade vegan brownie. The surprise ingredient is zucchini! I was a bit unsure of how they would taste but they are really good! They are more the consistently of cake than brownies but trust me, I know my chocolate desserts, and they are great. Honestly, I can't see ever making my child brownies from a mix when these are so much healthier and can give her a serving of vegetables as well. Try them. I highly recommend!

ZUCCHINI BROWNIES

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup canola oil
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups shredded zucchini

ICING
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup butter
2 cups confectioners’ sugar
1/4 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9×13 inch baking pan.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the oil, sugar and 2 teaspoons vanilla until well blended. Combine the flour, 1/2 cup cocoa, baking soda and salt; stir into the sugar mixture. Fold in the zucchini. Spread evenly into the prepared pan.
3. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until brownies spring back when gently touched.
To make the frosting, melt together the 6 tablespoons of cocoa and butter; set aside to cool. In a medium bowl, blend together the confectioners’ sugar, milk and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Stir in the cocoa mixture. Spread over cooled brownies before cutting into squares.

(I didn't make the frosting as it's not vegan, but I posted it as it was part of the recipe)

Yay! Snow!

I woke up and checked the forecast.
Yes! The predictions were correct!
I love being a teacher!


I made some fresh-squeezed o.j.

and hit the blogs.

It's going to be a good day.

Btw, I've lost 7 pounds and I finally got an email from my SW saying he did change my homestudy the way I wanted. :-)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day is a big deal in kindergarten & my room parent went all out. She came in the night before to decorate the classroom. They were so excited to have huge, festive balloons tied to their chairs. Then she planned all these fun games which the kids loved. They passed out cards and ate candy and laughed and danced and were wild. But the biggest hit by far (ok, maybe only for me) was the chocolate fountain! O.M.G. Yum. My daughter would love to have that. Yeah, ok me. :-)



Meanwhile, tonight I have a date. A second date. The first date didn't knock my socks off and tonight's date is on Valentine's Day. We'll soon see if that was a good idea!

It's also my parent's 56th wedding anniversary! We should all be so lucky. Love you guys!


And finally, in case anybody needs the recipe for a happy marriage, check out this short video I shot at Xmas:

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

My kiddos

My kindergartners are so cute. Yes, they will test a sistah’s patience sometimes :) but mostly they are a lot of fun to be with each day. I have a great job! Here are a few (non-identifying so not the most interesting) shots of them from the past few days.










NaBloPoMo #19 theme:thankful