Yeah, I Said No Baking but...

it was necessary. As were the wheat cracker samples in the grocery store.

I had to work late. I had much to catch up on so I wasn't able to pick Naomi up until 6:00. She was happy to see me but, like usual, her uber-happy personality slips away within a few minutes of my arrival. "She's happy all day long!," one of the new teachers shared with me as we walked to the car but I had to shake my head in aggravation as she was already in tears. I don't know what set her off. Did she want to go to the playground instead of the car? Did she want to continue to follow her friend down the sidewalk? Did she think they were going to play together outside or that evening? Was she annoyed that I reminded her not to run into the street and then took her hand in the parking lot? Was she hungry? Was she tired?

And the screams continued into the night. I take the blame for running errands with her already in a "mood" but she is like that so often that if I didn't risk it from time to time I would get nothing done! So we went to the bank and to the grocery store. I tried to head off another bout of tears by offering her my leftover cheese stick from lunch in case it was hunger-related. But she cried when she asked for more and I told her there wasn't anymore. She cried when she asked to stop at the playground when I told her it would have to wait til Saturday. She cried when we parked at Trader Joe's. She cried when we started into the store. She cried when I wouldn't buy the pack of the more expensive premolded hamburger meat. She cried several more times when I wouldn't place the items she requested into the cart. Finally, I had to cut the shopping trip short. She was getting really loud, disturbing other shoppers--not to mention embarrassing me!

I tried ignoring her outbursts. The first 5 or so were short the last 2 were long and loud. How does one deal with this? I had more items I needed to purchase but to cart around a screaming child in the store is not my idea of a good time. And it was late so I figured she was hungry and tired and really should make it quick.

But the thing is, even if you are hungry and even if you are two, you know that this is not appropriate. Don'tcha think? Cause not all toddlers do this! Yes, a lot do. I know that--but I don't want my child to! I think back to when I volunteered in Ethiopia and watched with utter astonishment how perfectly well-behaved those children were. They rarely cried or whined and never acted out. They sat still on the potty every morning for upwards of 30 minutes without a single complaint. They sat lined up against the wall at a party waiting for their cookie and juice and sat and ate their treats quietly and didn't ask for more. They sat quietly while their hair was twisted and braided and beaded for long periods of time. They waited patiently at meal time while their injera was covered with wot. They were angels. Always.

American kids? Not so much. Or should I say, kids parented by Americans. My daughter can be defiant and whiny. She yells and screams. She blatantly disobeys and screams no in my face. She stomps her foot. She's also sweet and affectionate and cuddly and funny and thoughtful and empathetic. In fact, she is all of those things every day. But the days where she is also like she was today have me filling up my wine glass and frantically searching Amazon for parenting books. 1-2-3 Magic; The Pocket Parent; Unconditional Parenting... they are all on my wish list cause I want to be better at this! I want to let her behavior roll of my back with the confidence that she is 'just being two'. I want to not feel so frustrated and inadequate. I want to enjoy parenting more.

Ouch. That totally broke my heart to type because I love my daughter so much! But she can be so difficult sometimes! I know that her energy and flair and sense of humor and exuberance and intensity and charisma are great characteristics. I know that she could channel this and become an amazing athlete, scholar or performer. These characteristics are great to have in life not to mention they make her immensely popular with other kids and make her so much fun to be around. But they can be so hard to manage like when I just want to pick up some bloomin' groceries for dinner!

So I cut the shopping trip short, removed my wailing child from the store cart and brought her home. I was too worn down to discipline and instead just tried to ignore the screaming food requests as I sipped on my wine. She eventually calmed down and went to bed without a fuss. And then I went back downstairs and baked. Do you blame me? So excuse me as I go get seconds of my moist pumpkin deliciousness and look forward to tomorrow being a brand new day.

Good night.

*** Edited ***

Good morning. It's a new day! :-D Last night I forgot to mention some things that I was grateful that I was grateful for which kept me from getting too upset despite the rough evening (other than the yummy dessert):

1. Thankfully, that type of evening is atypical!! She can be cranky at meal time but it usually only lasts a couple of minutes and she's usually a champ when we run errands.

2. Whatever was upsetting her didn't affect her sleep. She went right to bed and is still sleeping as I type this quick update.

3. My attorney sent me the petition to adopt that were filing with the court system which I signed, had notarized and returned. I am so grateful we are able to move forward even though I haven't yet located the originals of her paperwork.

4. I found my phone.

5. I hired a nanny! She will start in August!! And I hear she's a great cook as well!

Oh, and it's Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Have a good one!