I have really had it up to *here* with the daycare. Today for lunch I packed her a hard boiled egg, some baked chicken, carrot sticks and dressing, almond milk and a homemade muffin and blueberries. Her breakfast was some rice pudding concoction that I made up with almond milk, honey, cinnamon and raisins and her snack was some apple slices. A lot of food. Yummy food. Food full of nutrition and vitamins and protein.
She brought back all the chicken, all the egg and some of the carrots. And then she told me her teachers gave her bread. So today, other than a few carrot sticks, all she ate was rice pudding, fruit and bread. And then she refused her dinner because they are teaching her if you cry and refuse to eat, you will eventually get waht you want!
I AM SO ANNOYED!!!
I have already spoken to them about this. When she first came home and had terrible diarrhea, I had her off dairy only to discover that they didn't stop her when she was drinking kids' unfinished milk cartons from out of the trash. Then I asked them to not let her eat so much junk at the Valentine's Day party and asked them to add the banana to her plate and they didn't but instead allowed her to eat herself sick. Oh, and let's not forget the guilt trips they give me when there are birthday parties. They act as if I am this cruel woman taking away her childhood right to eat junk food. Now, in an effort to see if I can help clear up her eczema without steroids, I have her on a gluten-free diet. Which means no bread! In addition, I had decided to forgoe grains for Lent (though was allowing her rice) so they have violated that as well.
I am at my wit's end. I just blogged about this two days ago so I won't rehash it all but in addition to the nutritional deficiencies she may have due to her early life circumstances and the fact that they are feeding her when she really isn't hungry (or wouldn't be if she at the food I provided) they are teaching very bad habits.
She has learned from them that she can cry and refuse foods and in the end get what she wants.
And she is developing a taste for high fructose corn syrup, processed sugar goodies and greasy chips and dye-filled candy--none of which I feed her anymore. I figure they are a once in a while treat--her birthday, holidays, etc. And trust and believe, there are plenty of goodies to be had in my household. We eat a ton of fruit. We eat dark chocolate. We eat baked goods made with coconut oil, almond flour and maple syrup and they taste great!! We eat ice cream and drink hot cocoa. The child is not deprived because unfortunately her mother has a massive sweet tooth. But it is allowed if the healthy foods are also consumed and it's much healthier versions.
I am trying very hard to steer clear from the SAD (standard American diet). This is what is causing all the illness and disease in our country. Processed crap, too much sugar, too many grains, chemicals, etc. So slipping her extra empty calories isn't doing her any favors. Not to mention that the number of fat cells in your life time is set in your childhood and Naomi is already on the pudgy side. They think they are being nice but really they are possibly setting her up for a lifetime of obesity and poor eating habits-- and definitely making mealtimes with me more of a battle.
Why do they make me feel like the mean mommy when what I am doing is one of the most loving things I can do for my child?!
OK, done ranting. Now off to craft a letter to her teachers because I don't appreciate being disrespected. I am going to tell them how much I appreciate all they do for my daughter but I am going to make it clear that as her mother I am to make all the decisions about what she eats. Period. End of story.
Anything you would add if you were dealing with this?
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9 comments:
I just started working at the daycare my daughter goes to and I've seen lists that show what kids have special dietary needs or restrictions. There is one little boy in Alayah's class who is only allowed to eat healthy foods kind of along the lines of what you are requesting. He isn't allowed sweets and his parents pack all his snacks and his lunch. You would think that he would only eat what his parents brought but I've seen him sneaking things from the kids that sit next to him at meal time. The teachers some times don't notice because they are busy until after he has consumed several of the other kids items. The teachers also have the thought that when it is party time and there are snacks that it isn't fair to him for him to be the only one not getting to partake in the party snacks. When you are a kid and everyone else has a cupcake with yummy icing and you are stuck with a banana its just not as exciting and those cupcakes look so darn tempting lol. They don't give him the cupcakes, they just tell him they are sorry he cant have one. I have seen some kids just not eat their lunch because they don't want it compared to what someone else may have. As teachers they should be feeding her what you packed for her and if she chooses not to eat than maybe by the next meal she will be hungry enough to eat what you packed. I am sorry you are so frustrated and that I am so long winded lol
Not longwinded. You make some good points, nev. At the party I just asked them to add the banana so she'd eat less junk. Not substitute it--that would be hard. And yeah, they probably aren't paying close enough attention. But thing is, I used to work in a daycare too and kids w allergies you watch like a hawk so it can be done. And thing is, she doesn't have to eat what's served at home at mealtime but I don't give in and give her what she's demanding either...and she usually comes around (and often enjoys it!). I'm just frustrated at being undermined. Thx for ur comments
I wouldn't. Only because if I did, they would most likely be four-letter words that don't necessary reflect my "lady-like qualities" (in my Tyler Perry/Madea voice and laugh).
Please make a copy of your dated/signed letter to staff for your personal (Parent) child development cumlative file. It'll come in handy if you need to sit and address the situation with the Daycare Admin-Director.
Jebena (because the cyberfairies are trippin' with my blogspot account).
I understand your frustration completelly. And I am with - they should respect you and do what you say, you are the parent here!
But I also think you should suggest some improvement in daycare food section in general. If most parents agree that they want helathier eathing habits for their children, together you can make a difference. I see daycare system here in my country that my niece is visiting. At celebrations they have fruit or some healthier snacks, sweets are forbidden. And her daycare week menue looks really healthy to me. So it can be done. So maybe you should speak to other parents I think lot of them will agree with you!
They should COMPLETELY respect and honor your dietary requests. They are very good about this at H's school - where some kids have allergies and some have religious restrictions. So it CAN be done. Good luck.
Seriously, how hard could it be for them to be on top of what she is supposed to eat and what she is not? Isn't that part of their jobs?
Last summer, for Elfe's birthday I brought in cupcakes for afternoon snack time at her pre-school. I noticed that one little girl was brought over to another classroom when I got there. Elfe told me later that girl isn't allowed to have certain food - not sure if it's allergies or something like your situation - so her parents pack a snack for her and if there's a birthday party or some other class snack that she can't have, she goes to the other classroom to eat her own snack during that time. It can be done!
I'm wondering if an in person conversation would be more effective than a letter? As a school administrator, I can say that often letters raise the ante while a calm one on one talk at a time when children are not underfoot is often the best way to have teachers and parents arrive on the same page. You might learn information from them that helps you understand more about what's happening. Then, following up in writing to reiterate what was discussed is a record of the agreements.
yes, june, i believe you are right. i will schedule an appt. to meet with them and they can see/hear from me how important this is to me and why. and following it up with a written record is also a good idea. thanks for the suggestion.
I agree with June :-)
Good Luck with this! My Little Man is having some issues with food as well- but thank goodness his daycare is small! Next year when he is in pre-k it will be a different story :-/
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