Ok, I am turning to the blogosphere because I am way too stressed to try to figure this out and it's not coming to me easily.
Do I resign from my job or take a leave of absence?
Option A - resign
1. I have until July 15th to let them know.
2. I give up my tenure and position.
3. I have to find insurance coverage from July 15-July 25 when my new insurance kicks in.
4. I'd have to reapply when I return and due to budget constraints, there may not be any openings.
Option B - take a leave of absence
1. I have to tell them on Monday.
2. My insurance will be available until the end of any month I state (so for me, July 31)
3. My tenure will remain intact.
4. When I return to the district, a position at my current school is not guaranteed, but a position in my certification area is and I will be at the top of the hiring pool and get priority.
Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Not so much.
I must factor in Almi's readoption. I am still waiting for some fingerprints to come back and then there's the issue of her missing adoption paperwork. My attorney said I am only the second client in 20 years that he has worked with who had lost the paperwork. He said everything should be fine and the readoption should be completed before I leave.
That makes me nervous. There is a small possibility that it won't be completed and I will have to renege on my contract. If that happens, here is what happens with options A and B.
Option A - resign
I won't have to resign until July 15th. I will know by then if things went through or not. If they don't, then I won't resign and I will return to my great school and Almi can return to the daycare that she knows and loves.
Option B - take a leave of absence
Since I would have informed them of this on May 23, my position at my current school will be filled and I will go into the pool with all the other transfer applicants and have to find a new job. My school district is big and I could end up with a very long commute. I would try to keep her in her current daycare but that may not be possible. I could end up with an expensive daycare situation and teaching any grade up to grade 8 due to my certification even though I teach Kindergaten now.
Having to reneg on my contract would be bad enough. My new school will be angry, my new nanny will be out of a job, I will likely have to repay them for the $4000 plane tickets they purchased, etc. but I could also have a very stressful commute, a new grade level and expensive daycare near my new place of employment.
Suddenly, the leave of absence isn't looking so appealing.
What would you do??? Please help! Option A or B?
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12 comments:
This is really really really difficult, but I would do A. If the worst happens you want the best scenario afterwards. How awful would you feel not taking the new job and then also having a long commute and Almi in a new daycare situation.
We had a couple of 'worst case scenarios' come true this past winter and i wish I had not taken the risks that I had. If it had worked it would have been worth the risk but if it hadn't...
Anyway, it's just an opinion but that's what I think I would do, especially given how much you like the current job and how long and hard it has been to find a job like it. You could end up in a really bad job that you hate.
I'm sorry to hear about the paperwork!
Why do you absolutely have to have the resdoption finalized before you leave? You are American, you can keep your residence where you are at least at first, even if you work abroad, no? The lawyer can take care of everything so you don't necessarily need to appear in court? I'm trying to remember how my readoption was. I guess it needs to be in the circuit court where you reside, but could you do it as an absentee for a while? Or can you do it as a US citizen in Asia with the embassy? I would ask these questions unless you already have. If you can do remotely, then... I would do leave of abscence since as you said, no brainer... that is if you can do remotely. Otherwise, oh my. I don't know.... How would somoeone do it if they lived abroad? There has to be a way of readopting as an expatriot (someone living abroad). Best of luck with this. If I have any other thought, I will get back on. Anxious to hear how it works out. Remember to breath and trust as well. When you haev things have had a way of working themselves out beautifully :o) Leo
kn, i am leaning towards option A as well for those same reasons. as much as i'd like to just take a leave, there are really no guarantees that i am returning anyways and it's a huge risk.
leo, i don't know the answers to those questions. i will ask the attorney. i do remember him saying that i had to bring her to the first hearing and that the second one (where we get a photo with the judge) is optional. maybe i could leave with no problem as long as the first part is done. what i do need though is her american birth certificate and passport so we can travel easily between countries.
I don't know the answer to this one. DOn't knwo what you need for readopt in your state- all we needed was court documents, decree translated etc. Your post adoption services part of the agency should be able to do that for you?? ANyway. back the question. I don't know the answer But a couple days ago you wrote what I consider the most inspired entry in a long time. I was th 5/14 one. read it again and see if that makes your choice any easier??
Wow, that is hard! :( But I am a beliver (I deal with problems when I meet them and not before they eaven happen) and I would probably choose option B. It is highly possible your readoption stuff will be fine (as your attorney said). And if it doesn`t you still have good chances to find a good solution for you both. So I would say with option B you have at least 80% chances that everything goes fine. And that`s a lot! :)
Good luck!
shannon, i need the court doc, birth cert (both misplaced) and all new prints since mine expired from every state i have lived or worked in the past ten years. i'm still waiting for three to come back (i move around a lot!) as far as the previous post, i am ready to go, that's for sure. stressed right now but ready and i don't think it's too likely that i would return to this job after only two years. hmmm...
z,like shannon was getting at (i think) and even leo to some extent, i think i need to continue to have faith and put it out there and things will work out. the only reason i was leaning towards A was because i would be totally miserable having to renege and be in bad situation.
so, do i have faith that it's all going to work out fine, resign and keep my insurance or do i remind myself how much i want to experience living abroad and understand that this means i won't likely be returning to this school.
i don't know!! now i am back to being confused. oh well, will think about this again after the yard sale!!
As far as living abroad why does it have to be this year only? And I kind of don't think it's about faith in this way. Faith tells us if things get really bad we have a place to find strength. It also tells us things do not remain bad indefinitely and that good things do come to us. Faith however does not, in my opinion, say that the path will be easy or turn out the way we want it to. So I do think it could happen that you have to stay and I guess with such a disappointment I would want to be in the job I like with Alma in a daycare she loved.
Some people never do the readoption so I'm not sure why that has to be done now. Does it affect being able to get her passport? Sorry probably not helping...
That is a tough tough decision. I'm generally conservative though and would go with option A. Besides are you really planning on coming back here after your years abroad?
I'd lean towards A. I agree with commenter #1. If things don't come through you'll still be at a school you like a lot.
Ok I agree with KN (*waving*) on principle but come out with a different answer. My choice might be go for it. If it all falls apart- that doesn't mean it won't be tough but perhaps you'll find a completely different path open. Having faith.. God doesn't promise us things will work out the way we want them too- or even in one of 2 ways we see happening- God promises to give you the grace to endure if you continue to lean on him. And so- this is all way to personal a decision- cause see- I think we are all looking at the exact same facts, and many with similar beliefs and come out with different "what would we do's". Its you baby. You've got to make a decision you can be at peace with- regardless of the outcome.
I travelled twice out of country with my little one on her Ethiopian passport before the readoption. It was a little trickier because I took all her adoptioon papers with me, and had to get visas for her that I didn't need, but other than that, it all went well. Then again, he last name on her ET passport had my last name. Not sure if that's the case fo you guys? Maybe that made things easier. Customs never checked the adoption papers btw. Leo
Okay, I can't offer sound advice on this one because whatever I tell you to do---the opposite would probably be the better option (that's the story of me and choices); however, I will advise you like this: REVIST where the idea of moving to Asia came from. REVIST what was the motivation behind it. REVIST where the greaterness of "peace" is coming from. It is "peace" flowing through you when you consider Option A or does it flow when you consider Option B?
When you start visiting "peace" don't be afraid to write down the fears you have for both Options. Be honest, be truthful, and most importantly, be fearless in allowing the "fear" to be exposed and uncovered.
Lay it all on your altar (your knees and your lap) with your hands opened as a symbolic gesture to God that you are open to receive divine direction without arguement. Come clean with Him regarding your fears that include being a good Mother for your child.
Afterwards, get off your knees and thank the Almighty for not only directing your path, but being sensitive to His direction and His plans for His two girls (you and Almi).
I will remind myself to pray for you as this is a crucial turning point in your life --- sending you heart hugs ((*)) and a peaceful, yet joyous direction.
Jebena (Anonymous is showing because I'm on a computer that belongs to someone else here in Starbucks) tehehehehe.
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