Being Thankful 2010

What are you thankful for this year?

My blessings this year are huge. Clearly, the most obvious one is I became a mother. This was a lifelong dream of mine and I got really, really lucky with my daughter. She is the light of my life and I am grateful.

But to be honest, this has been a rough year in a lot of ways.

The year started out with me working in a very unpleasant job situation.
I took off 2 months to bond with my daughter and it was unpaid.
Being a mother is exhausting and stressful and I worry about her all the time.
I dated someone for while who I thought had great long-term potential only to discover that he was not at all who he portrayed himself to be, which only continues to deepen my bitterness at being single. Where, pray tell, are the good men?! Am I truly destined to be single?
I live with constant, albeit manageable, pain and exhaustion. My doctor is confused since I test negative for everything.
I am far from family and have very little support.
In a nutshell, my house/relationships/health/future feel like they're in a constant state of chaos.


But I am slowly recovering and focusing on the good.


I got a new job. I'm still underpaid but I am happy there.
I put in a rental unit and expect it to be rented in the new year.
I wouldn't trade those two months with my daughter for anything. I believe they did wonders for our attachment.
I love being a mother.
God will bring me the right man for me at His time.
I am managing my health. If nothing else, I am being a good role model for my daughter.
I have made the decision to be responsible and make whatever makes sense financially for my family. If that means moving across the world to a country where I can afford live-in help, then so be it.


This Thanksgiving I will be surrounded by family. I will give thanks for them for they are truly wonderful in so many ways. I will thank God for being alive to experience all life has to offer. I will express thanks for my nice home, my job, my friends, my talents, my opportunities, my future. And I am beyond grateful for my daughter. She is amazing.

This Thanksgiving after dinner with family, in the intimacy of my parents living room, my cousin Chaz will lead our family in my daughter's baby dedication. It will be an time to formally declare that I am going to raise my daughter with a love of God and ask for His wisdom and grace in guiding me in this awesome responsibility. She is a gift and a child of God and that night I will be giving that gift back to God. One of the requests of her Ethiopian mom was that she be raised with a "fear of God." I am honored and grateful to be her mother and will do my best to raise her as she and He would see fit.

My house, the chaos, exhaustion, men, money.. yes, all are stressful and need my attention but for the rest of the year I am going to try to focus on my daughter and the joy this little girl brings me.

Happy Thanksgiving.