Naomi's newest phrase is, "I want my mommy." She learned it from the book Owl Babies by Martin Waddell. It is such a cute book about 3 baby owls who grow concerned one evening when they discover that their owl mommy is gone. The youngest owl baby repeats "I want my mommy" throughout the story and in the end the mommy owl comes home and the owl babies are overjoyed.
The book is one of Naomi's favorites right now. She gets so happy when she reads that the owl mommy comes home and now she says this phrase throughout the day.
Well, the other morning she said "I want my daddy." I said, "You want your daddy?" To which she responded, "Where daddy go?" I said, "Some families have a mommy and a daddy. Our family is Mommy and Naomi."
She thought about this for a moment, then looked right at me and said, "Daddy lost?"
I can't even remember what I said after that exactly because I was too stunned and saddened to hear her say that. I think I repeated how our family was Mommy and Naomi and she seemed fine with that explanation but it made me sad for her.
My sweet, innocent baby girl. I hope however our family is she/we will feel deeply loved and complete.
4.13.2011
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8 comments:
I've been there. Its hard because you feel like you've short changed them because you are single (at least that is how I felt when H. said to me "there's no daddy for me".) Some of these things are so much harder than I anticipated when I decided to adopt.
We loved that book too by the way. :)
Oh, I feel you on this one!
Elfe tells me a lot that I need to marry a prince so she can have a daddy here...know any princes you could send my way? ;)
That's heartwrenching. I think your response was perfectly age-appropriate. Biset hasn't yet articulated that sort of question to me (not that I could understand anyway), but when she mentions daddies I tell her the same thing you said.
I agree with your response. I also tell my daughter, "Everyone has something they don't have." She has a friend who's Mommy died. So I remind her of that friend - who has her daddy living with her and no mommy. I also use a book about families, on how every family is different. (I'll find the title for you later.) I just always stay committed to tell the truth. It's hard -- my daughter has a father who chooses not to be involved. But you know, that's her path to walk, not mine. Whatever situation your child finds herself will help in making her who she is. You can't walk that road for her.
This is so hard. I struggle with this as well, but I wonder sometimes if I read more into it than I need to. This was such a hurdle for me in deciding to adopt as a single woman - would I be enough, would a child be better off in a family with two parents. So, when any mention of a daddy is made, I immediately start questioning whether my kids miss having a father. In reality, though, at this age, my kids are probably not that far in their thought process . . . yet.
I was not adopted, but raised by a single mother. When I decided to adopt I just remembered how much my mother loved and loves me and I know my daughter will feel the same love. Did I wish my father wanted me, was more involved and was a good person? Absolutely! But in the end we all wish for something, but do the best with what we have. My lack of having a father caused some challenges, but hell my being raised without alot of money caused some too. LOL If I had a lot of money I would have had some, the point is we all have something. Maybe one day our kids will have fathers, but until then we do the best we have with the gift that God has given us. Nothing is perfect. Hugs.
Your answer was perfect! I agree with the writer who wrote that we may read more into these statements than the children mean when saying them. If I were to write down all of the different families that our son knows there are so many different types. We know families with two mommies and two daddies. We know single dads and single moms raising families and we know grandparents raising children and a little girl in Quinn's class who has a 'guardian.' We all come from different places and each and every one of them has challenges. I truly believe it's the amount and quality of the love that makes a happy home.
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