Third Time's the Charm, Right?

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to start dating again. To this end I am back doing online dating. I don't really like it but, honestly, I don't have many options. There are no men at work so the only other way I am going to meet someone is the one time I plan to get out each month or perhaps at the grocery store or gas station. So back online it is.

So I'm back on line and already something interesting has happened. Tell me what you think... When I was doing online dating about three years ago I met a really interesting man. Let's call him D. D was smart, well-traveled, bilingual, handsome and we hit it off. I was really looking forward to our first date. We agreed to meet at a Mexican restaurant and to help me find him he told me he'd be wearing a blue shirt. Full of anticipation, I drove downtown and began to look for parking. Blue shirt, blue shirt I reminded myself as I waited at a red light, and just then a man in a bright royal blue shirt crossed the street in front of my car. A skin-tight, bright blue shirt on an attractive gay man. I hope that's not my date, I joked to myself. I parked the car and walked into the restaurant and there waiting for me at the table was Mr. Bright Blue Shirt. Needless to say, the date didn't go well. I am fine with homosexual men, just not as my dates. When he called for a second date, I (not so) politely declined. When asked why I was too honest and he got angry.

Fast forward about 9 months and I meet another great man online. Handsome. Smart. Bilingual. (I guess I have a type). He suggested we meet at this cool bar in the center courtyard of a museum. Chic spot. I had never been. I was impressed. I walked up and joined him at the bar. It was a gorgeous summer evening. I felt good about how I looked and I was thrilled to be having a date with a handsome man who was so interesting and easy to talk to. We shared a glass of wine and lots of laughs and I, like so many other ridiculous women, started envisioning our future children and growing old together. And then he dropped the bomb. "You don't remember meeting me, do you?" he asked. I was taken aback. No, not at all. How would I forget a man like this? "I'm D. Remember? The one you thought was gay." My mouth fell open. How on earth could I not remember? Maybe because this time he was charming the pants off of me in his sharp Italian suit? But as he sat there telling me how offended he was after our first date he did start to look familiar. I couldn't believe it. How could I have been so wrong? This man was not gay. He was damn near perfect. But as much as I apologized he was still angry and said he had no interest in seeing me again.

I was mad at myself for being so judgemental and dismissive, but it was a lesson learned.

Fast forward to this week. I get a an email from an attractive man. I read it while glancing at the thumbnail photo. Wait. Seriously? He looks a lot like D. I open his profile and look at all the photos. Yes, it's D. Many of the photos are the same. Why is he writing me? I thought I had been written off. I read the email again. It appears he doesn't know it's me. That can't be. Maybe he's playing games? I can't tell. I write him back without letting on that I know it's him. He writes back immediately. Sure, I have changed my profile but there are three photos on there. Does he not recognize me? Maybe the fact that I now say I have a child is throwing him? I write back.

His last email tonight says, "Would you like to chat and learn more? D." and he put his phone number. I used to really like this man and I must admit I would like another date with him. I mean, part of me says to leave the past in the past but then I can't help but think that men like him don't come around every day.

Do you think he knows it's me and has had a change of heart? Do you think he's playing games? Should I fess up that I know or should I wait? Should I give him my number or suggest we meet out? The goal is to get him to remember why he was interested in me in the first place and see if we can have a second third chance. How do you think I should proceed?

And by the way, I am thinking of taking my blog in a different direction--not having adoption as the focus. I am thinking more of my life in general (eating, health, dating, traveling, etc--and how to balance it all as a single for now mom). I want to focus on --I need to focus on--finding balance. If I get a lot of comments on this post I will take it as a sign that this non-adoption topic is semi-interesting. If not, I am still probably going to change up anyway, but I would at least know someone out there was halfway interested in following along :-).