I'm Almi!

This evening I was playing around with Almi and asking her the questions I always ask her.

"Are you Mommy's pumpkin?" And she will nod or say yes.
"Are you Mommy's baby?" And she will nod or respond yes.
Then I say, "Where's Pumpkin?" and she will point to herself.
"Where's Mommy?" and she will point to me.
"Where's Naomi?" and she will point to herself.
"Where's Emmay?" and she will point to me.
"Where's Almi?" and she will point to herself.
"Where's Momma?" and she will point to me.

Well, tonight when I got to the "Where's Naomi?" she said, "No, Almi!"
I tried it again and again she insisted on only Almi.

The whole naming thing in international adoption is so hotly debated and I admit that I struggled with what to do. Families who adopt from Ethiopia, I find, largely keep the birth names whereas it appears that families who adopt from other countries have no second thoughts about changing the names.

I got pressure from both sides-- to keep her name and to change her name. And it was hard on me. But in the end, I decided to change her name from Almaz to Naomi Winter Almaz. I really, really wanted a part in naming her.

Often you hear how adoptive parents don't want to take yet another thing away a child who is losing so much as a reason for keeping their name. There is something to be said for that, but the interesting thing is you rarely hear that from parents who adopt infants. For some reason, parents of infants get a pass on the taking yet another thing away from the child. Almi was 19 months when I brought her home. I don't know how attached she was to her name or what they called her most often. Was it Almaz? Was it Almi? When I picked her up she barely said anything for weeks and certainly wasn't referring to herself as Almi but I decided to call her that while she got used to Naomi. Well, fast forward ten months she is used to Naomi, and occasionally calls herself that, but she really prefers or relates to Almi and it's no surprise why. I have been calling her Almi for months. And she may have heard it for years.

Thing is, I guess I always thought it was going to be a childhood nickname and that she would be Naomi Winter Almaz as an adult. I love how that sounds and I loved naming my daughter. I always thought she would be called Naomi by her friends and family at some point. I never really thought about when this would happen, especially since legally she's still Almaz Laura, but now suddenly I feel like she's telling me she doesn't want to be Naomi.

I know may not be the case.
I know she's only 2 and a half.
I know she says one thing one day and another thing the next.
I know I still feel some residual guilt about not wanting to keep Almaz as her first name.
I know I am extra sensitive about this.
And I know she may end up loving the name I gave her...

but for some reason hearing her say that today made me a little sad.