Friday night I went out with my old friend, J. (not to be confused with J from the other night) He's really fun to be around, smart, witty, no kids, we have mutual friends, he's into me... the kind of guy you want to seriously consider making permanent.
We shared some drinks, some laughs. He told me I'd make a great mom. And that he considers me 'the one that got away'. He invited me to dinner for Saturday night. I agreed. He asked me if I wanted chicken, beef, lamb or fish. I said fish would be nice. I said I'd bring wine.
I was late but cute in my sundress and heels. When I arrived, J was still cleaning his house and and no food had been prepared. No food had been purchased. "We can run to the grocery store", he said.
I was annoyed. J was very cavalier and said I was overreacting.
"Let's just go grab a drink somewhere," I suggested, but J wanted to further discuss how much I was overreacting. I did not. I told him to meet me out front. Five minutes passed. He did not come out of the house. I got more annoyed so I texted him, "bring me my wine."
He got angry. Said I was being petty. He was right but I told him the wine was for a dinner party and there was no dinner; when he had another one and there was actually dinner I would bring the wine back!
He got angry and told me to go home. I did.
Five minutes later he texted an apology. I apologized, too, but damn!
Did I overreact? Should I call him and clear the air? Or is he wrong?
(And yes, I know this is an adoption blog and this post seems to be totally irrelevant, but it is relevant! I am only 2 days into my wait for a referral so in the meantime I will date. Gotta find a daddy for my little girl! LOL)
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9 comments:
Hmmm. I'm not going to go deep into the event with J, don't call him, it's over.
As for you...you don't need to go searching for a Daddy for your daughter. Do you. What God has intended for you (and her) will come to you. If you are dating with that in mind you will drive yourself crazy. Just date. It will be great to find a husband but what if you (we) never do. Life goes on.
Enjoy the ride.
Uh, I thought the searching for a daddy part was obviously a joke.. Let me clarify that it is!!! I want a daddy for her obviously, but I am NOT dating with that in mind!
Okay, maybe I don't know you well enough to make a fair, judgement, but I do think you were right to be irritated. If he wanted to talk more, and you didn't, I'd've used the old, "Yes I'm being sensitive. No I don't want to talk about it." He was wrong to invite you for dinner and then not cook, or to at least give you the option when he knew you had eaten a bit. But asking for the wine back...? A little petty. I can see where you're coming from, and may well have done the same, so I'm not being harsh, but you'll probably look at that in a week and go, "Okay, I can see his point about the wine." J seems good for a friend, but not for a date. Save your cute sun dress for another guy.
Ok, he's is OFF the list of available men. OFF. THE. LIST.
That is ri-goddamn-diculous behavior.
You fueled the fire, imo, but there wouldn't have been a fire if he had the dinner he invited you over for ready! Or at least available in the fridge! What... was he going to go out tho the store and buy salmon only once you got there??? Why go out for crabs? Where was the friggin food he was going to serve you???
um, that behavior is not OK from a friend, MUCH LESS someone you might even consider dating. stick a fork in him - he is DONE.
You were rightly mad and acted so. I would've been rightly mad and probably not acted so. In my opinion, your reaction was more honest than what mine would've been. Definitely write him off the list of prospects. I'm pretty willing to bet he'll continue to disappoint you.
Stefanie
rule number one...boys are stupid
rule number two...boys are stupid
rule number three..we will never be able to figure them out!!
rule number four...THEY will never understand what we "really" want!!
hehe!!
and...Martha's Vineyard was awesome!! It was a little too cold for my taste that weekend but the island itself was awesome!! I also LOVED...LOVED...Bar Harbor Maine!!!
Laura,
I agree 100%...You were right in asking for your wine back. If he invited you to dinner he should have had something prepared. That shows lack of consideration and just plain RUDE!
When it comes to dating for me you only have “one” opportunity to mess up and then that’s it. I have ZERO tolerance for foolishness. Kick him to the curb!
OK, here's my take. You were right to be annoyed, but not outright mad. If you were overreacting, which is entirely possible, his job - as someone who was in the wrong, was to apologize. Full stop. I wouldn't write him off because he didn't have dinner ready when you got there but I would write him off because of his reaction.
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