OMG--for the past two hours I have been trying to think of something to post and I swear, I got nothin' (to quote one of my students when he doesn't know the answer-heh). Truthfully, I am a bit down about the whole adoption situation. I want to sign on with another agency and have my daughter home by next Christmas-that is the goal-but I have no idea if that will happen. Tonight, one of my friends (a single mom to a toddler) said, "My mom thinks that you need to rethink this whole adoption thing. I mean, do you really want to do this? It's hard work! You need to know that it's not all fun, that most of the time you will be exhausted and stressed..." blah, blah, blah. (I stopped listening at that point). I feel bad now, but I couldn't help but snap at her and point blank ask her if what she was saying was she wished her daughter had never been born. Of course she couldn't say that and finally stop her ranting but it really upset me. (I guess I was upset to begin with so this really didn't help). I don't know, maybe I'm reaching here, but I equate it to telling a pregnant woman, 'Are you sure you want to have the child? Maybe you should go get an abortion'. No one would dare say that to a 43 year old woman, but when it comes to adoption people say things and don't think about how they come across. So after I put her in her place I went home and made some spaghetti and ate it in silence like I often do. I usually eat while reading so my house is extremely quiet. I know I should be grateful for these quiet times but really all I want right now is a rambunctious toddler running around making me laugh. (I know, I'll probably be eating my words next year looking at these days wistfully. lol).
So, in keeping with the theme of thankful, though, I have to dig deep today.
...I'm still diggin' and still I got nothin'.
OK, I got it. I am thankful for having a forum to vent my frustrations. There.
Tomorrow will be better. I promise.
NaBloPoMo #8 theme: thankful
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Thx, Tami :)
![]()
the adventure begins
Wanna Follow Along?
Labels
Grow, hair, grow!! Momma wants to do some styles! lol
Thx, Tami :)
Adoption/Ethiopia/ Humanitarian
- 4everfamily
- adopt shoppe
- amharic kids
- ET adoption blogs
- ethiopia facts
- ethiopia reads
- ethiopian embassy
- ethiopian kids
- ethiopian names
- ethiopian travelogue
- families for africa
- good news ethiopia
- international justice mission
- keep a child alive
- kembatta women's self help center
- learn Amharic
- national adoption council
- nazret
- orphan doctor
- orphans and vulnerable children
- turn your blog into a book!!
Adoption Timeline
- 2.25.10-3.07.10 - traveled to ET!
- 2.12.10 - bought tickets!!!!!
- 2.12.10 - more shots! ouch!
- 2.2.10 ~ passed court!! i'm a mommy!!
- 1.26.10 ~ didn't pass court... new one scheduled for Feb. 2nd
- 1.4.10 ~ court date - Jan. 26th!!
- 1.4.10 ~ oh, here it is!!
- 1.3.10 ~ where is my court date??
- 10.29.09 ~ REFERRAL !!
- 8.21.09 ~ passport arrived
- 8.03.09 ~ applied for new passport
- 7.08.09 ~ dossier mailed to ET
- 6.16.09 ~ dossier approved
- 6.11.09 ~ mailed my dossier to my agency
- 5.21.09 ~ I-171H arrived!!!
- 4.17.09 ~biometrics appt.
- 3.27.09 ~ mailed HS to CIS
- 2.27.09 ~ finished HS - FINALLY!!
- 1.29.09 ~ ordered another birth certificate! (yes, the date of when it was issued is important! go figure!)
- 12.23.08 ~ picked a new agency
- 1.21.09 ~ final HS meeting
- 1.7.09 ~ finished my Hague training
- researched new agencies
- 11.18.08 ~ was informed by Gladney that due to new regulations my adoption won't be processed until 2012.
- 8.1.08 ~ filed the I600A
- 7.29.08 ~ received birth certificate
- 7.28.08 ~ physical & bloodwork (update)
- 7.17.08 ~ ordered birth certificate
- 5.21.08-6.21.08 ~ volunteered in an orphanage in Addis Ababa to learn more about adoption and my future child's birth country and culture
- 5.12.08 ~ shots (ouch!)
- 5.8.08 ~ got fingerprinted
- 4.20.08 ~ Gave up job in Manila to stay and adopt
- 4.15.08 ~ informed by Gladney that they cannot complete my adoption if I move overseas
- 4.1.08 ~ US entered into Hague Convention for International Adoption
- 3.13.08 ~ Got copy of driving record from DMV
- 3.7.08 ~ 3rd HS
- 2.24.08 ~ Accepted dream job in Manila
- 2.11.08 ~ 2nd HS
- 1.11.08 ~ 1st HS
- 9.13.07 ~ Chose World Child for HS
- 8.28.07 ~ Registered with Gladney
- 7.12.07 ~ Physical & bloodwork
- 7.9.07 ~ Gladney Phone Orientation
- 7.3.07 ~ Faxed info. sheet to Gladney
Bloggy Things
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(126)
-
▼
December
(30)
- I Want a Haircut
- Happy Birthday Mom!
- Christmas 2008 (in pictures) part I
- Christmas 2008 (in pictures) part II
- Darn it!
- Merry Christmas!
- Christmas Eve
- Beauty in Nature
- my house
- Old Friends
- Impromptu Holiday Party
- My kiddos
- Modern Conveniences
- my dad
- First Course. Check.
- zzzzzzz
- Decisions, Decisions
- Lazy Saturdays
- Bloggers and the Internet
- Day Off
- HeeHee
- Holiday Music
- I Got Nothin'
- The Little Soul, Tatiana
- Ouch.
- I'm thankful that today is Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! W...
- Charissa and Analiese
- My cousins
- NaBloPoMo
- World AIDS Day
-
▼
December
(30)
9 comments:
Ugh! That was always one of my biggest pet peeves. Once your child is home, you will crave silence but that is completely unrelated to your desire to have your child home now. Adoption is not a journey for the weak but hold on because the rewards are beyond anything we can imagine while we're waiting.
Is that an option? A different agency that would allow you to get the ball rolling again? That sounds good. What are the drawbacks of changing agencies?
Don't let the few ruin your spirit. They don't understand our walk. Stay strong and come to us and vent when needed. No, it won't be easy but I know in the end it will so be worth it. I was raised by a single mother and no it was not always easy (I wasn't joy all the time...go figure) but I know I was her biggest prize...she tells me all the time. Your daughter will too be yours. I can't wait for my daughter (and son maybe) and all of the struggle that I am going through now and will go through then will be worth it. You will figure it out and it will just work itself out...it always does. One thing I have done is just eliminate those people who don't want to support me or tell them how you feel and I be they will stop doubting you again. They may not think you are doing the right thing but they will keep it to themselves and hey that works for me. If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. Women have made it with less and I think we are doing ok. So, no we won't be able to take as many trips or maybe they may just end up being group trips instead but I'll bet we will figure it out!
Smooches! ABW ;-)
how very annoying. try to tune that bulls**t out - not worth your energy or time. it's surprising to hear, though - especially from a fellow mom. yeesh.
hang in there and enjoy the silence! I LOVE being a mom, but boy do I miss the peace and quiet. :-)
I so understand how you're feeling. I'd get those stupid comments, too, both in the years that I was considering adoption and my 3 yr wait. What pisses me off is that I actually listened for a while, and waited until I was going to be 40 to adopt.
If you read on my blog what I've been going through with my 3 yr old in the last week, you'll see that there IS truth to their statements regarding how had it can be. The questioning of your desire to adopt, though, is ina ppropriate and rude. What irks me is that no one (especially these "questioners") ever truly expressed the joy and satisfaction that comes with loving a child wholeheartedly. It seems that all I'd ever hear about was the "bad" or "hard" side of parenting.
If I had to do it again, I would have started my adoption journey about 5 years earlier and not have let these nay-sayers affect me. Live and learn, huh?
Hang in there.
Your question back to your friend was perfect. I don't think I would have had the wherewithall to come up with a comeback like that one.
Yeah, sure being a single parent is hard. And no, you can't really understand how hard it is until you are doing it. But I don't know any single mom who would trade her struggles for a life without a child. I think often about how I used to be able to sleep in, travel, go to happy hour, etc. I miss those things, but none of them were as emotionally fulfilling for me as being a mom is. I had a great life before I adopted, and that would have been enough for some people, but I wanted a child. You gave the perfect answer.
I just ran across your blog. Being a single mom is tough and will change your life forever, but it is also beyond wonderful. It is hard but you will never regret it.
Ouch, I can feel the pain of that comment. I started this process in November, just about when you were getting the bad news about your agency. I haven't caught up with the reading on you blog yet, but have you chosen a new agency yet? I really like mine and they said they have no single limit and right now not a long wait list of parents single or otherwise. If you want their name, post on my blog. Best of luck to you and don't let the turkeys get you down!
Post a Comment