Attachment

When Naomi first met me it took her quite awhile to warm up to me. Though she didn't cry much, she wasn't giving me any eye contact. She'd take a quick glance at me from time to time but that first day she didn't hold her gaze. It wasn't for a couple of days that she would look at me for more than a few seconds. I read that maintaining eye contact was one good way to form attachment and since she loves to eat I decided to try to incorporate the two. I figured since she followed the spoon when eating that if I put it close to my eyes she would look at me. I started this on the second day home and I think it has helped tremendously with our attachment.

Here is a video of me feeding her this way. How cute is this??



Other things I have been doing are baby wearing, co-sleeping and doing all of the feeding/changing/bathing.

I bought an ERGO and she gets into it but doesn't like to be in for more than about an hour. My plan before I brought her home was to wear her for 5 hours a day. Ha! Yeah, no. First of all, she's heavy--about 24 pounds. But I would suck it up if she'd let me but she starts to complain after about an hour. I can put her in it to do some things around the house or if I have to walk somewhere but not for as long as I had hoped. Still, I think she does feel safe inside it:We have also been sleeping together since attachment can build during the night. I didn't want her to sleep alone anyways since she never has. Even though I am having her crib set up this weekend it will be my room. I only have another month off and want to get as attached as possible. Maybe I will have her sleep in her own room when I am ready to go back to work; maybe not. Not sure at this point. Here we are in Ethiopia. I was exhausted! I am getting more sleep now than I was there.. it's not so bad. The other thing I am doing is being responsible for all of her needs so she can learn who momma is and who to go to for comfort and care. It's exhausting, but important. I do all the bathing, feeding (when she'll allow me to), diaper changes, etc. Of course, I am the only one here now but even when friends and family are around I take care of everything. Here are some shots of us in Ethiopia, including her first (and only) bath there-- the water was so cold in our guesthouse!I'd like to say my efforts are paying off. It seems that way to me anyways. She is giving me more eye contact and comes to me when scared or tired. I was complaining to my cousin that she goes to him for laughs and playtime and to me when she's cranky and crying but now that it's just the two of us, I get both. She has definitely turned a corner since meeting her in Ethiopia last week. I get real laughter and I can see trust developing. When she wakes up from her nap I find her sitting up in bed waiting patiently for me and not crying --she must trust I am nearby. She can also now let me out of her sight for a few moments as well. Baby steps. We're coming along.

Check out these pics of my smiley girl from tonight when we were playing around after bathtime. (excuse the snotty nose.. I can't wipe it enough!)