Parenting Advice

For those of you who have adopted from Ethiopia, did you notice how unbelievably well-behaved the kids were there? I was impressed but also befuddled. I mean, seriously, how were they able to get the kids to do what they got them to do? While there to volunteer, I went to a going away party for a toddler being adopted and they had the the other toddlers there to enjoy the party. They brought the toddlers in and seated them up against the wall while they finished the preparations. I couldn't believe my eyes! Six little toddlers about 2-3 yrs old sat there watching for about 15 minutes while the drinks were poured and cookies put on trays. Then they brought them each a cookie and a cup of juice and they all sat that and ate their snack without getting up. The whole thing lasted abut 30 minutes and none of them got up!

They would sit like this before mealtime as well. The nannies would line them up in the high chairs and they would sit and wait for the food to come. No crying. I'm sure they were hungry sometimes but they never threw tantrums.


Another thing that was amazing was in the orphanage where I volunteered, they put the toddlers on little bowls in the morning to do their business before they dressed them for the day. Since they don't use diapers, they just change them throughout the day as they have accidents, but the morning potty time (I guess) keeps them from having as many accidents.

We would arrive in the morning to volunteer around 8:30 and they would all be seated on their little bowls. They would be so happy to see us and would smile and smile and even scoot up close to us but not one child would get up off that bowl! And sometimes they had them sitting there for 20 minutes. How in the world did they do that? They were just as happy and content (or simply obedient) sitting on that bowl. None of them whined or cried or complained. Utterly amazing!

Having a toddler at home now I am especially impressed. How in the world?! When I had my Ethiopian (Eritrean) nanny stay with me I decided to pick her brain. Perhaps she could give me some insight on how to raise a fantastically well-behaved child. She wasn't comfortably fluent in English so she went home and asked her husband for some advice for me. The next day she me this:

(click to enlarge)

I do time outs, for example, but let me tell you that does not stop a child from crying in public or refusing to eat certain foods--or at least not my daughter. I'm pretty proud of Almi, though. She is pretty good for a 2 year old (very good compared to a lot of American 2 year olds I've met!) but she does not act like I described above. I wish I knew the trick. Any Ethiopians reading my blog? Wanna share the secret?