Her: "I'd love to come with you to pick up your daughter."
Me: "Really? Wow, that would be great!"
Her: "I'd do it to be supportive of you."
Me: "Wow, thank you so much. That means so much to me that you would want to visit my child's birth country."
Her: "Well, I have absolutely no interest in going to Ethiopia and I will only go if it doesn't conflict with my son's basketball schedule."
Ouch.
Am I being too sensitive?
(btw, this is not the same person who upset me a few days ago)
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Thx, Tami :)
Adoption/Ethiopia/ Humanitarian
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- ethiopia reads
- ethiopian embassy
- ethiopian kids
- ethiopian names
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Adoption Timeline
- 2.25.10-3.07.10 - traveled to ET!
- 2.12.10 - bought tickets!!!!!
- 2.12.10 - more shots! ouch!
- 2.2.10 ~ passed court!! i'm a mommy!!
- 1.26.10 ~ didn't pass court... new one scheduled for Feb. 2nd
- 1.4.10 ~ court date - Jan. 26th!!
- 1.4.10 ~ oh, here it is!!
- 1.3.10 ~ where is my court date??
- 10.29.09 ~ REFERRAL !!
- 8.21.09 ~ passport arrived
- 8.03.09 ~ applied for new passport
- 7.08.09 ~ dossier mailed to ET
- 6.16.09 ~ dossier approved
- 6.11.09 ~ mailed my dossier to my agency
- 5.21.09 ~ I-171H arrived!!!
- 4.17.09 ~biometrics appt.
- 3.27.09 ~ mailed HS to CIS
- 2.27.09 ~ finished HS - FINALLY!!
- 1.29.09 ~ ordered another birth certificate! (yes, the date of when it was issued is important! go figure!)
- 12.23.08 ~ picked a new agency
- 1.21.09 ~ final HS meeting
- 1.7.09 ~ finished my Hague training
- researched new agencies
- 11.18.08 ~ was informed by Gladney that due to new regulations my adoption won't be processed until 2012.
- 8.1.08 ~ filed the I600A
- 7.29.08 ~ received birth certificate
- 7.28.08 ~ physical & bloodwork (update)
- 7.17.08 ~ ordered birth certificate
- 5.21.08-6.21.08 ~ volunteered in an orphanage in Addis Ababa to learn more about adoption and my future child's birth country and culture
- 5.12.08 ~ shots (ouch!)
- 5.8.08 ~ got fingerprinted
- 4.20.08 ~ Gave up job in Manila to stay and adopt
- 4.15.08 ~ informed by Gladney that they cannot complete my adoption if I move overseas
- 4.1.08 ~ US entered into Hague Convention for International Adoption
- 3.13.08 ~ Got copy of driving record from DMV
- 3.7.08 ~ 3rd HS
- 2.24.08 ~ Accepted dream job in Manila
- 2.11.08 ~ 2nd HS
- 1.11.08 ~ 1st HS
- 9.13.07 ~ Chose World Child for HS
- 8.28.07 ~ Registered with Gladney
- 7.12.07 ~ Physical & bloodwork
- 7.9.07 ~ Gladney Phone Orientation
- 7.3.07 ~ Faxed info. sheet to Gladney
13 comments:
The same person said the first sentence and the last? Sounds like she needs meds!! leave her home. Seriously.
You are not being too sensitive, you're thinking, feeling like a mom, for your child. Basketball schedule? I feel sorry for that person. Think of all that they will miss.
This isn't that same friend, is it?
Sigh.
Oh and she was doing so well until her last comment. I'm sorry that happened, and no I don't think you are being overly sensitive. It is another example of how some people don't think, or don't get it... I am actually going to Africa alone. I have tried to find someone who can come with me but part of the problem is that pretty much all of my friends are teachers and simply cant take the time off. Do you have someone else who can go with you? Your friend is really going to miss out on a once in a lifetime special moment. I love watching the videos posted online of parents meeting their children for the first time, and I don't even know these people.... I cant imagine anything more special than being there the moment that your friend gets to meet her baby for the first time! Visiting Ethiopia and experiencing the culture and scenery and then being part of bringing home this special baby... too bad that she doesn't realize just how special this journey is...
I am traveling alone as well. I have friends who would go but I can't afford to take them and they can't afford to pay, so alone it is. I think alone will be fine. And I think it will be much better to be alone than to be with someone who would only go--reluctantly-- if the basketball schedule doesn't conflict.
well, i'd be cool with her lack of interest in Ethiopia. I mean, most people who don't otherwise have a connection to Ethiopia don't even know where it is.
And if she really WAS doing it to be supportive of you, that may be enough.
BUT the whole "if it doesn't conflict with my son's basketball schedule" comment means she is not that interested in being supportive of you.
Definitely someone to leave at home.
Er, seriously??
I'm sure your friend is a really nice person, but she should have kept that last bit to herself or found a more appropriate way of saying it. She makes it sound like travelling with you to pick up your child would be some CHORE she's doing only as a favor to you. I hope that you find someone who really wants to be there, to share this very special time, and who understands the PRIVILEGE of being there as you meet your child for the first time. I am very fortunate to have such a friend to travel with me.
I feel your pain!! I am having the same issues with the person who is planning on going with me!! I don't really want someone to go if they can't be excited about the whole experience!!
I can't believe the comments that people make!!
Oh. Ouch. Ick. Seriously. That was just wierd, and insulting. I'm sure there are many other people who would want to visit your child's birth country because WOW ETHIOPIA HOW COOL and, well, that's your son. Who WOULDN'T want to be the first to adore him?
YUCK! I can only imagine who this is. Don't take her.
Just wanted to say thanks for the comment you left a while back, great blog i will defintely pop back!
Pol x
I know who it is and believe she honestly wants to be supportive and helpful and will really try to go with you. Hope it can work out.
Love, Mom
You aren't being too sensitive. I wouldn't want to go anywhere with someone who didn't really want to be there. Not necessarily an indictment of her (I mean, I suppose it's nice that she would go just to be helpful in spite of her actual wishes) but it wouldn't be a good trip with that attitude.
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