Life

Life. Exciting. Frustrating. Thrilling. Confusing. Exhilarating. Heart wrenching. Completely unpredictable. I'm grateful for the wide variety of opportunities that my education, circumstances and blessings have provided me. I have explored, traveled, and studied in many areas of the world. I have lived on three continents, in nine states and the District of Columbia. I have studied psychology, French and education in fine institutes of higher education. I have attended boarding school in Nigeria, waitressed in Paris, taught children how to read from Maryland to California, backpacked through Europe, and relaxed on some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. I have done many interesting things and been blessed beyond measure and for all of that I am incredibly grateful.

But with opportunities come choices and with choices come decisions. For those of you who know me or have been following my blog, you know that I had a huge decision to make this year. Live abroad or adopt? It was hard because I knew I wanted both. I have such wanderlust! I feel so alive when I am out exploring different cultures, speaking another language and meeting different people, so I made the decision to move abroad and adopt when I returned. But then as I making plans to move I learned that I could adopt from abroad. It was perfect! I was ecstatic. I could do both and I could do both right now! It was all unfolding so perfectly. But it's not a perfect world and my situation was far from perfect. As I prepared for my international move the United States became part of the Hague Convention. This changed everything. Suddenly, the agencies who had been comfortable working with Americans residing abroad now felt uneasy. Things became incredibly complex and I wasn't able to find an agency willing to work with me. I suppose at some point things may become more clear and Americans will have not have problems adopting from abroad, but no one knows when that will be. I was advised to do the adoption from American soil; stay here and continue the process or continue when I returned in 2010. As many of you know, two years is a lot of time in the world of international adoption. Anything can happen. And the social workers I spoke with said more likely that not if I waited until then I would most likely not be able to adopt internationally at all. (My age and marital status were working against me). So it came down to two choices: live abroad or adopt from Ethiopia. But not both. I'm not going to lie and tell you it was an easy decision. I had accepted a dream teaching job in an exciting city and I was in the throes of preparing for an international move. I had quit my job for God's sake! And I had made a promise. I had given them my word. Although I had not yet signed the contract, I had verbally agreed and where I come from your word is your bond.

But I want to be a mother. And I can't wait until 2011. If I returned from Manila in 2010 to discover that adopting from Ethiopia wasn't a possibility I would be devastated. I suppose domestic adoption would still be an option (though many domestic agencies aren't single-friendly either) but who knows when I would be chosen by a birth mother. I could be on the list for years. It was just not a risk I could take. As agonizing as it was, I knew in my heart what my decision was; the agony was really more related to having to inform my employer of this new development. I can always teach abroad but even if I don't, I have already had many wonderful overseas experiences. But I knew that an Ethiopian adoption wasn't just my own decision. It's much deeper than that. I know that this is what I am meant to do.

So here we are on April 28, 2008. It's been almost a year since I started this blog and I am officially back on track (with Gladney!! ~ they took me back!) with adoption from Ethiopia. The overseas school was very supportive of my decision and said to keep in touch. Hey, I just may teach there after all! I am back to filling out paperwork and I have a job interview tomorrow (yeah, a job... pesky little requirement to continue with the process ~ lol!)

So there you have it. My exciting, frustrating, thrilling, confusing, exhilarating, completely unpredictable life!! The life and I intend to continue living it to the fullest... with my child!