Choosing a Name

Choosing a name for my daughter was something I took very seriously. It was very important for me to keep Almaz as part of her name but it was also important to me that I honor my family in some way and that I pay attention to the meaning of the name. However, other considerations came to mind like the fact that I became a mother in February. February, the month of love in the middle of the winter. And another consideration was the fact that the first thing I thought of when I saw her was that she had bright eyes. Whenever people see her photo they almost always comment on her eyes. "Look at those eyes!" is a phrase I have heard many times. And finally, I wanted to simply use a name that I like! Well, as you can see, that's a lot factors to be part of one little girl's name!

* use Almaz
* honor family
* consider names with meaning
* consider becoming a mother in February
* my first thought of her bright eyes
* a name that I like

Clearly I had some narrowing down to do! I couldn't give her 6 names, she's not Tikki Tikki Tembo!

Names in my family of importance begin with L, E and M. Names that I liked with those initials included (but were not limited to) Lauren, Leila, Elizabeth, Eleanor, Miranda and Madeline.

Names with meaning that I love include Amanda (much loved), Evelyn (desired), Gabriella (God is my strength), and Miriam (wished for child).

February brought to mind names like Neve (snow in Latin), Zaria (rose in Arabic), Ruby, Rose and Winter.

Her eyes led me to discover names like Claire (bright in French), Nayana (beautiful eyes in Hindi) and Najila (bright eyes in Arabic).

And then there were just names that I liked like Quinn, Brooklyn, Samantha, Priya and Grace.

When I first started the process of choosing a name I shared some of the ones I liked with friends and family and you wouldn't believe how cruel people were! I heard comments like, "that's ghetto" or "sounds like a stripper" or "not resume-friendly" or "I'm not a fan." I quickly learned not to share.

Well, after lots and lots and lots of deliberation, I am here to say I have chosen a full name. Here are some hints:

** The first name is 3 syllables. I love it and it has special meaning. It begins with an N.
** The second name is listed above. No more clues.
** The third name means diamond in Amharic. :-)

Care to make a guess?

It bears noting that I am quite fond of the name Almaz and think its meaning is special. I may in fact just call her Almaz or perhaps a combination of the names I have chosen. What she will go by will be officially determined once I meet her.

(And Robyn, you can not guess since you found out already! :-D)

Preparing Myself (and the Nursery) for Baby

My house has four small bedrooms upstairs. One teeny, tiny one that I turned into a walk-in closet right after I moved in (with permanent closet organizers) and three other slightly larger rooms. The master bedroom is in the front of the house. Next to it is a bathroom. On the other side of the bathroom is another room, which will be the nursery, and in the back of the house is the forth bedroom. The back room was added as an addition, like most houses in my neighborhood, probably about forty years ago. It is nice to have the extra space, but in order to get to that back room you have to either walk through the walk in closet or the future nursery. Currently, the middle room is my TV room/den/office and the back room has all of my art/scrapbooking/photography stuff in it. This hasn't presented a problem when it was just me living here, but it's probably not a good idea to have a room with expensive cameras and enticing art supplies and hundreds of markers and decorative papers in a spectrum of colors one room over from a curious toddler. (Although I don't know what age my daughter will be when I bring her home, I'm going to prepare for a child who may be crawling or walking already).

So, I have a dilemma. I don't have enough space in my small home. Ideally I would like separate spaces for:

* a place to watch TV (preferably not in my bedroom or in the living room)
* an office space
* a playroom
* a place to do my creative stuff, and
* a guest room

But other than the back room upstairs the only other possible spaces I have are the sunroom/breakfast room on the first floor--which leads to the backyard where no doubt we will be coming in and out of all summer--and a fairly large, extremely humid basement. So three rooms (back room upstairs, sunroom and basement) when I need five. I realize I can double up but I am having a really hard time trying to figure out how to do that without spending a lot of money. If money were no object I suppose I could make the basement climate right, buy some comfy furniture, section off the washer/dryer, add some built-ins for art supplies, mount a flat screen TV and turn that space into a guestroom/artspace/den. My art supplies would be safe because she would never be down there without me and it'd be a place to go and relax with guests or when she's sleeping and I don't want to disturb her. Then the upstairs room could be simply an office and the sunroom could be her playroom. Maybe you have a better idea?

With the above idea in mind I started to clear out my den to make room for baby. I really want to start setting up the nursery because I really need to make this adoption feel more real. I know usually people don't want to look at an empty room in the midst of the process because they feel sad and empty, but I feel the opposite. I want that space done so I can really start to feel like motherhood isn't just some illusive concept. I want to feel that yearning! I want to see the baby furniture and the clothes and toys and books. I want to feel the excitement building that I imagine pregnant woman must feel in the months leading up to their child's birth.

The adoption process is mostly doctors appointments and document gathering and check writing and, well, it's basically no fun at all. We don't get the new wardrobe and the sonograms (or are they ultrasounds? --you know the little picture of the developing baby) and the pats on the belly and the cravings and all the other accoutrements of the impending arrival. I want that! I want people to be excited and involved and send little gifts in the mail. I want my family to be excited and talking about it-- and by 'it' I mean the baby. If I were pregnant the comments from friends in family would be:

* Congratulations!
* How do you feel?
* Have you thought of a name?

But when you say you are adopting you don't get those questions. The questions, if you get any at all--and there have been many people in my life who have not asked one question at all from good friends to close family members--are more typically :

* Why?
* Can't you have any of your own?
* Aren't you afraid of illness/attachment/low intelligence..?

Most people just aren't excited about adoption and even if they are, they aren't talking about it every time they see you like they would if you were pregnant with that big visual reminder. They don't congratulate you or ask you how you are feeling or drop by with little booties or board books. So, I want to do the nursery so when people come over they will have that visual reminder and will be excited and so that I, too, will have the excitement that is so lacking from this whole process.


So, today I started clearing out the den to prepare the nursery and if I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and sit still for a moment, I can detect a wee bit of excitement stirring from within.