Labor Day Weekend

Another Labor Day Weekend, come and gone.

It's strange that I've been writing on this blog long enough to be repeating holidays. Journey to Motherhood was the title I gave it, cause when I started it last May, motherhood was very much on my mind and I thought at the time that I was ready. Last year at this time I had just downloaded the I600A. Who knew that it was going to take me eleven months to actually file it?

When I began the process last year, referrals were coming really quickly, around 3 months in a 3-5 month estimated time frame. Although I had a great job with on site day care and everything was set for a baby to come into my life but it all seemed to be too quick. I was under the impression that I would be a parent in March sometime and I just couldn't quite visualize it. Motherhood was something I really wanted but I couldn't imagine how I'd manage as a single parent--I didn't want to be a single parent--so I did everything at a snail's pace until I eventually decided to just put the whole thing off.

After rereading last year's Labor Day Weekend post, I clicked on the comments. Someone commented that day that she was in the same stage in the adoption process--just filed her I600A so I went to her blog today to see some pictures of her child. I couldn't believe it, but she hasn't gotten her referral yet! It's weird to think that I was so sure I was going to be a mom so quickly that I put it off, but according to her time frame my child probably wouldn't even be home. With no referral yet and then having to wait for a court date and then to travel, I imagine the earliest she (we) would be in Ethiopia would be January/February--almost a year later than I had anticipated. I think if I had known that I might have continued. That gave me that extra year after all. But meanwhile, here I am stuck in a holding pattern while I look for the right job before I can continue and who knows how long it will now be before I can bring my child home.

I had hoped to finish my homestudy by the end of August. Well, that didn't happen. I will now project it to be done by the end of September and the rest of the paperwork by the end of November, putting me on the referral list in December. With a wait time of 5 months, that gives me an April referral, July court date, September '09 travel--if I make it before the courts close. If not, that could be an October court date and December '09 travel. In all likelihood I am not going to be a mom before 2010 and that now seems very, very far away. In fact, at this point, it even seems at times that it isn't ever going to happen. It's almost hard to imagine it at all with all these twists and turns my journey has taken me. But it remains one of the only things that I have always known that I have wanted in my life so I just have to continue to have faith that it is all going to work out.

Thankfully, most of my friends and family know it is going to happen somehow and are supportive of my journey to motherhood and I am grateful for that. I even have a couple of other single friends come to me for advice in the past month about how to begin this motherhood process (somehow I have become the local expert on sperm donation, IUI, adoption, single parenthood, etc. and I by no means am since I have done none of the above) but it's so wonderful to have support in this journey and others who are experiencing the same things that I am. I put a little reminder on my bathroom mirror last week to keep me focused and remind me that it is eventually all going to work out. I am going to get a great job and bring my baby home!!My parents and sister came down for a couple of days and it was really nice to spend time with them. I took them to the church that I like on Sunday. During the announcements, the minister shared that one of the families in the congregation was celebrating bringing their baby boy home from Ethiopia! Here is a picture of my parents walking back to my car after church.
The difficult length of time became all the more apparent this weekend, though, while having my parents here. I so much want to have my child here for them to enjoy and I expect that I will, but they are in their 80's so the sooner she arrives the better. As they were leaving to drive back to Pennsylvania my neighbor, Allison, came by to see them and show off her beautiful baby. Allison was pregnant last summer and now her child is a year old! My parents look positively radiant interacting with Allison's baby!
You can see in my mother's face how much joy holding Tatiana gives her and I so much want to be able to do that for her. So, please say some prayers for me that I will get an amazing job offer in the next week or two so I can get my baby home before 2010!


Overall, it was a great weekend. Highlights included eating a lot of meals out, purchasing and playing around with my new camera (thank you for the fantastic recommendation, Angie!), listening to my mom's newest book, and going to a cookout with friends and not doing anything off my to-do list!!! Here are some pics from the weekend.

Eating at Jaleo's with my parents. Yum-my. Love tapas! (and the sangria was good, too!)


Listening to my mom read to me from her new book. This will be her ninth children's book!


I refused to any housework. Look at the laundry pile waiting for me to fold!


Dancing at the bbq. The barbecue that Andrea invited me to was so cool. There was a live band! I have never been to a barbecue with music. So much fun!

And check this out. Two of my friends, yes two, asked me this weekend to be the Godmother to their children! Ayanna and I have been friends for over fifteen years. We met at Howard when we were in some of the same education classes. We are both AKAs, love photography and writing, are both teachers and committed to healthy living, and now we are both embarking on this single motherhood thing at the same time. She doesn't have any children yet so we will be doing this together! She said she had been thinking about asking me for awhile and even though she has a very large family (and tons of friends) she wanted me to be her future child's Godmother because she said I have a 'nurturing spirit'. Sweet! I was so honored! Here is a picture of us at homecoming last year.

Then, two days later Allison asked me to be Tatiana's Godmother! Once again I was humbled and honored. Allison and I have known eachother for just over a year. She lives two doors down from me and we met when I was driving back from church one day and saw her on her front lawn doing some yardwork. I introduced myself and we became instant friends. A funny story is I kept inviting her to do things last August which she couldn't attend and after one such invitation she said, "I have something to do this week, I'm sorry I can't make it." I guess she sensed that I was a bit disappointed so she continued, "I have to go deliver my baby!" I had no idea she was pregnant!!! LOL As we got to know eachother we realized we had lots of friends in common and both have a love of travel and similar life goals. She has lived all over the world and speaks five languages. When I went to Ethiopia she put me in touch with a good friend of hers there who took me and some of the volunteers out to dinner. She is a single mom who is teaching me how to raise a happy baby while holding down a demanding career. I was so surprised that she chose me because she too, like Ayanna, has many, many friends. She said she knew I loved Tatiana and was a gentle, loving person. Yes, I do! So much love all around!