It's A lot

It's a lot to deal with...the crushing poverty, seeing people hungry in the streets, illness, lack of infrastructure, inaccessibility to clean water for all, more flies during a meal than I've dealt with in an entire summer, imagining the grief the children must be dealing with in a losing one or both parents or death or separation from siblings, unemployment, difficult weather conditions, dirt, dust, diesel fumes...







I've only been here one week and it's beginning to wear me down. I feel like running off to the Hilton to get a mani/pedi and relax by the pool but then I feel guilty for having that option. Guilt is a wasted emotion, I've been told, but it's hard not to feel guilt or at least confusion or at just be disturbed on some level at how inequitable the world is; how my life experience is so vastly different from others; how some people seem to suffer so much more than others. Why is this? And if the question can't be answered, which it can't, then how does one deal with this? How does one help? On one had the problems in the world are just too numerous and one can become paralyzed by it and choose to turn a blind eye to it. But if can't do that, where do you begin to help when you barely have enough to sustain yourself and your own family? I don't know, I have no answers but these are certainly questions that have been weighing heavily on my mind lately.




It's interesting that before I came here I felt so overwhelmed about so many things and now after only one week I know I can go back and deal with those issues a lot better. My problems pale in comparison. When you see people living here on so little, you realize how much you really can go without. I can change some things in my lifestyle when I return to the States and that extra savings can then be allotted for other things. I'd like to organize a group when I return, of like-minded folks, who want to do something for the people of Ethiopia. I am not sure what this is exactly or in what area I want to concentrate my efforts but I would like to remain connected in a way other than through adoption in a way that can benefit more than just my one child. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?