Can we say complicated?

Boy oh boy.

I had a conference call with the folks from Gladney yesterday about the possibility about adopting while living abroad. I knew it could be done and I knew it would be more expensive. Additional fees include $1,000 flat rate for adoption from overseas plus any additional unknown expense to have the home study done there and additional fees associated with shipping things back and forth overseas. All that sounds feasible. I mean, heck, you're already spending an obscene amount of money in the first place what's another two or three grand? That I can do. What is much more complicated is the process of finding a home study agency and making sure it is approved by the US embassy in the foreign country, figuring out how to file the I600A, going through a legal adoption in a foreign court, applying for a visa for my child to enter the US while residing in a foreign country and a whole host of other unknown complications bound to arise from not knowing the language. I stress easily and this is stressing me out and I haven't even started the process yet! And, not to mention, this would no doubt take more than a year so I need to be prepared to live in that country for at least two years. I better like my new job and city.

The great idea that I had of starting the process now and then moving overseas for a year was rejected. Can't do that I was told.... Obviously the easiest way would be to either do it now from the States and reside here the year after the adoption (for the post placement visits) or wait until I return from overseas to begin the process. The hard way is to do it while living abroad.

Doing it now means I would be spending next Christmas with my beautiful baby girl but it means that I have to postpone my dream of living abroad for several years. It also means being in this area for another couple of years and most likely in the same job.

Doing it later means I can live abroad as a single woman--eat out, enjoy the nightlife, travel extensively on weekends and holidays, maybe learn a language, date and maybe meet Mr. Right-- basically get the desire to live abroad out of my system, and accomplish some more personal goals with my free time. It also means, though, that I run the risk of losing the opportunity to adopt an infant (by exceeding the number of years between me and my child per Ethiopian law) or not being able to adopt from there at all (if singles are banned).

And what would I do if that were to happen? I guess I would adopt an older child and/or pursue domestic adoption?

Doing it from abroad means I can do all of the above (travel, accomplish some personal goals, and still adopt an infant) but it's much, much more complicated and more expensive.

Boy oh boy. What am I going to do?! :-/